On my way back from dropping my son off at school, there were two turtles on the ranch road headed the wrong way, a long way from the creek. So I stopped the truck to pick them up and put them back in the water. NOT shoot them. And as thanks, one of those stupid amphibious motherfuckers pissed all over me!! That’s what I get for being kind to nature. Want me to help you next time turtle? I’ll turn you around with my boot. Stupid fuckers.
And, to carry on the irrigation motif, just had my new front irrigation system put in... I can now water the lawn using an app while sitting on my couch. Life is good.
A turtle is always going the direction it’s supposed to be, and wants to be. They were headed away from the water for a very good reason. You should feel content that you fucked up the animals’ entire week, maybe its family too.
I just read that turtles can go as far as 500 yards away from water in search of a suitable nesting place. If those stupid fuckers wanna live, crossing a busy road is not a good direction. Go back to the water, try again.
My wife likes to move them out of the road, just stops in the road, gives them a lift to the edge they were going to.
That’s what you’re supposed to do. If you move them the opposite way they’ll just keep coming back until they’re killed. They’re stubborn to the likes of salmon when it comes to nesting.
This little guy was booking it across the road to get to a pond. Luckily I didn’t hit him cutting grass. Used to hit huge snapping turtles in the tall grass with the bush hogs. I went with too regional favorites for mixers this weekend.
On the plus side, the 4 guys I had working on my hose said it was twice the pressure it was last year. Yay?
I take naps when possible in the middle of the day. Today I had the oddest dream. I was shooting hoops with Bill Cosby in a gymnasium but the balls were flat, so I instead hung one armed from the hoops to perform one armed pullups while Bill Cosby cheered me on.
I love old houses and I've been looking for one in the mid-west as a project. I'd love a turn of the century farmhouse on 3-5 acres, but thus far I've come up with nothing. I did however come across this one little treasure...Read the description and look at a few pictures and think of a price. You'll be wrong. Waaaay wrong. You will want to take a look at this historical beauty that is overflowing with potential!! The main floor offers entry foyer showcasing the grand staircase, a large kitchen, breakfast area, 1/2 bathroom, cozy den with wood burning fireplace, formal dining room with beautiful chandelier, massive living room with wood burning fireplace, secondary servants staircase. The 2nd floor includes a large master bedroom, master bath with soaker tub and shower, laundry room, dressing room/ large walk in closet, and 3 additional bedrooms. The 3rd floor features an enormous family room, storage room, and 2 bedrooms. The basement offers tons of storage, outside entrance, and boiler system. The home boasts beautiful woodwork throughout, and one of a kind character!! The picturesque wrap around front deck overlooks the large double lot and detached garage. The price? $104,900. I shit you not. It's a good thing the real estate offices are not open when I'm drinking, I could see myself foolishly convincing myself that I could deal with the upkeep on a place like that all by myself. That price is just unbelievable...a lot of places $100K will get you a gutted hovel that's actively on fire.