Goooooood morning all you parents. Dogs, cats, children. Most of us care for another in some capacity. So get those hooligans fed and drop em off with ... Somebody ... And get your day off. What's a day off look like for you? Do you drink your face off? Smoke a toke or 3? Go shopping? Get into the ice cream? Pursue your long lost hobbies that you never have time for anymore? Today I'm off any scheduled tasks, but I am holding a garage sale. My kid is being babysat by Mr Rogers. If I can get all this crap out of here permanently, it will feel better than a day off. I think my dream day off would be like a 3hour professional massage and the rest is gravy. Happy weekend!
I was overcome with the urge to skip work on Thursday, check into a hotel and sleep all day. I didn’t, and I have regrets.
My wife and I have one tomorrow for our anniversary. Grandma is here and we're seeing Pearl Jam at Fenway Park.
I've been offending my new fantasy football opponents so well that I was offered a free entry to their otherwise paid fantasy hockey league. Thing is, being southern, I know jack shit about violent figure skating. Y'all got any pointers? Draft is in a week and a half.
I took my oldest fishing for the first time on Saturday. He caught a tiny little bass & he's now (pun intended) hooked. He spent yesterday evening practicing casting in the yard and he's asking when can we go again. I'm thrilled he's taken so completely to something I loved as did my grandfather & my dad. I'm also saddened my dad isn't here to see it and take him fishing like my grandfather used to take me.
One of my friends is an insanely talented artist and has the same weird effeminate emotional stuff going on. He just doesn’t do as much cocaine as Farrell does. I’d love to see them live though.
I had a job in a tall building that had one stall with a window from which you could see forever. That is still my favorite bathroom stall. This was when we mostly had flip phones. Blackberry and Nextel were still big. So, everyone just pooped and looked out over the city instead scrolled through bullshit on a smart phone.
Sounds amazing. Let's call that your favorite place to poop. Where's your least favorite? As much as I hate the mirrors, I think the porta potty with the spiders was worse. I'm trying to think of my least favorite place and there's a lot of memories to sift through. I think I repressed the worst of them. Favorite place might be in a clean airplane bathroom. It's small but exciting, especially with turbulence.
It's a guarantee that the more dire your need, the more likely that port-o-john will be absolutely wrecked inside. I used to work with a guy we called "Blue" due to an ill-timed gastric distress that forced him to use the honeybucket during an aerial refueling. And of course, during that AR, they had to do an emergency separation. He and the contents of the honeybucket ended up plastered against bulkhead for several moments until they pulled out of the dive...to which, he and the aforementioned contents then crashed to the floor together. They proceeded to fly the remaining 10hrs of that sortie with him covered in his shit and the chemical bluewater from the honeybucket. What an emergency seperation can look like:
Heroin. That helium-voiced walking corpse did shitloads of heroin while fucking probably a couple thousand women. I’ve known women, extremely attractive women, who would let him impregnate them on site if given the opportunity. Women must be turned on by Kleinfelter’s more than I thought. And Jane’s Addiction as a band absolutely fucking rocks.