Now that I’ve driven in Quebec City, I understand why people shoot other drivers on occasion. Even Toronto has nothing on these fucking people. Half of them don’t deserve to drive a car, or play video games that involve driving for that matter.
This is going to be an unpopular post- In the past couple months I’ve decided to go sober. I self medicated with booze for nearly two decades to curb my anxiety. I knew it’d make my anxiety worse but the small escape I had when buzzed was worth it in my mind. I needed that escape, as small of a window it was. Socially things haven’t changed much. My true friends aren’t threatened by my sobriety and share interest in going sober as well. But they have to take that step. My emotions are much more positive and stable, my energy levels are highest since I was a teen, and my skin feels soft again. I’m not sure if I defined an “alcoholic”, but I don’t think it matters. I’m not preachy about it at all and I’ll never mention it again on this board. But in the case that someone else out there experienced what I have, give it a shot. Aside from meeting my wife and kids, this is the most positive impact in my life and I wished I’d done it sooner. -Steve
This makes me chuckle... why do you think any of us would think negatively of you for doing that? I think it's great... good for you... you figured out some shit in your life that wasn't working and made changes. Nice job. We're not the bullshit frat-house-wannabe crew that we were... most of them have left, or we've all changed and become more mature (mostly, at least when it counts), and I really think that if anyone did say anything, it would be more tongue-in-cheek or poking fun at you in a light hearted way... not maliciously. Mention it all you like. If you find that you get more motivation by by mentioning it here, then do it all the time for all I care...
I often wonder about that definition. I'm sure I drink more often than I should but it doesn't affect my work or personal life so does that make me not an alcoholic? I don't drink at work (except for an occasional Beer Friday at lunch) but I'll drink to a pretty decent buzz ~5 nights a week. I don't feel like I'm trying to escape anything but I like a cold beer(s) after work or when I cook, I like to have some wine which turns into finishing the bottle. But, if I don't have any beer/wine at the house I don't go all mad scientist trying to concoct something from the liquor cabinet like people on those intervention shows. Am I making excuses for myself? My wife and most of my friends like to throw some back so I don't think about how many I'm having until I'm around "normal" people who have 1-2 drinks and then stop. My business partner, myself and our wives went to the Hank Williams Jr concert this weekend (which was fucking awesome) and each couple got a bucket of beer (5 Bud Lights) My wife and I finish ours so I went and got another bucket. His wife remarks "You're getting more beer?!" They still had 2 beers left. We get back to the casino and they go to bed, my wife and I gambled a little and had a few cocktails. Are they party poopers or are we drunks? Or, does the fact I'm even thinking about it mean I have a problem? Alcoholism runs in my family, my Dad died from it but he was a full blown functioning alcoholic. We determined he'd have 15-20 drinks a day. Every day. My full blood brother drinks a bit like I do but my half brother (different Dad) rarely drinks and his dad doesn't drink so definitely hereditary.
CAST YOU DOWN WITH THE SODOMITES! Seriously though good on you. I’ve done a similar thing with caffeine. I’m down to a pre work out drink in the morning and one can of Coke Zero. My doctor had refused to recommend a sleep study until it was off it completely. Stopping cold turkey isn’t an option. First week or so I was super tired in the afternoons but that evened out to a decent work day long amount of energy. Surprisingly the ritual of morning coffee isn’t missed at all.
Nett pretty well summed up my view. I'll never look down on someone who is doing what's right for their health. Only if you're going to meetings. Kidding of course, but I know what you're talking about. 20 some years ago I wondered the same thing and to find out I just stopped altogether for a while. A few years ago the pattern started again so now I limit myself to a set number, the "tipping point" if you will, especially now that I have a CDL.
Congrats!!! As I’ve mentioned on here, I haven’t had a drink of alcohol since January, and the difference is night and day like you described. I still drink a lot of beer, it’s just non-alcoholic beer. I remember the last time this really came up there were quite a few board members on here who had also gone sober and it caught me by surprise. It’s not something to be ashamed of or hide. You did a good thing for yourself and you should be proud of it. You have every right to be. I’m always available if you need someone to run things by as well. Never think you’re alone in this.... I dearly miss alcohol, but the benefits I have gained in life by not consuming so are completely worth it. At least for me. Maybe not for everyone. It is a very personal decision.
I think "it doesn't affect my work or personal life" is often poorly measured by the person consuming the alcohol. And the benchmark of an alcohol problem is certainly not swilling mouthwash or measuring up to someone whose life is so fucked up that they actually ended up on a reality TV show. That's like saying, "I don't have a weight problem. After all, I still get around, I'm not hoarding Snickers bars in my underwear drawer, and I'm not like that dude on the show where they needed to cut out the door frame to get him out." Most people with problems aren't living at the extremes of those problems. I can't say if you have a problem, and am not an expert. I don't think the occasional big night out is a problem (your friends are only party poopers because they went to bed early, not because they didn't get drunk). But catching a buzz more nights than not is less of a fun diversion, and more of a lifestyle.
There is the term “highly functioning alcoholic” and if I’m an alcoholic, that’d define me. I run a business and have a big family. I never missed a step in regards to my responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a problem. Using alcohol as a crutch long term is when I knew I had a problem. I could go without booze, but I couldn’t cope without it. I’d just be hanging on til my next drink. Taking the booze filter off and experiencing emotions fully without resorting to a bottle is overwhelming but I’m learning. I toyed with going sober for the past year or so but I wasn’t ready til I was ready. When you recognize the patterns you take when life gets hard, you can take yourself out of the cycle.
For me, seeing the affect that alcohol has had on Sounds very similar to how I was. Requisite disclaimer that I'm not a doctor, but I was suggested a few different supplements by one (turns out the root of my problems was a serotonin deficiency resulting from a TBI -- or multiple TBIs, or just the brain tumor, we don't know -- and not PTSD/anxiety/depression like I was originally diagnosed)... Yeah, turns out L-Tyrosine is a game-changer. I used the exact one I liked to, following the dosage directions on the bottle, and after it built up in my system for a few days it was night and day. That whole "overwhelming but learning" thing was no longer a problem for me.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS THREAD, IT'S FOR DRUNKS ONLY. Seriously though, I wish you luck. I hope that you can find the answers to your life with sober living that you couldn't find while drinking. As I'm pretty sure everyone on this board knows, I've had "problems" with drugs and alcohol in the past. Since my prison sentence, I still drink (and do LSD; Jungle Julia and I are going to do it tonight.), but I don't drink and drive anymore. I know that the best thing for me from a health standpoint is to quit drinking, but I don't want to. I drink the equivalent of about 1.5 - 2 bottles of red wine a day (I drink Franzia Cabernet, so it's kind of hard to measure). I really wish that I liked weed; it would be something that helps me relax and feel a buzz at the end of the day (because, yeah, I want to get high/ feel a buzz. Fuck anyone who says that I'm a degenerate for that.) without the damage to my liver. However, I don't like the high, and these days I can't / won't go back to the narcotic painkillers I used to use all the time in my 20's. Godspeed, scotchcrotch. And I won't give you any shit if you decide to go back to booze.
Whew, that's a lot of cheap wine. Speaking of wine, one thing that kind of sucks about living in Northern CA is the proximity to great wine. Napa of course but also Amador County is bringing some very high level wines without the Napa price, the whole Sonoma Coast is producing great wines, the Sacramento Delta region has world class Zin's etc etc. The "problem" is that when you travel and want to eat a nice dinner, the restaurant usually has the same wines I buy for a Wednesday night. Last time I went back to FL, the "nice" restaurant in town had nine different red wines to choose from. Every single one I could've bought from any grocery store in CA.
No one is going to judge you for being sober. You get judged when you tell other people why they are wrong for not being sober. I look at it much like being a Mormon or Jehovahs Witness. It’s great that you’ve found religion, but don’t try to pawn your shit off on me. With that said I haven’t had a beer in 5 months. I decided I was tired of being fat and lazy so I decided to commit to a low carb diet and exercise routine. I’ve lost 42 lbs as of this morning. Being healthy for my family is worth more than whatever joy drinking would bring to me. I haven’t had a beer in 5 months because I have no interest in moderation. One beer isn’t fun. 15 is a blast. And while one beer may be ok 15 will detract me from my goals. I want no setbacks. I’m tired of being a fat ass. I did drink half a bottle of bourbon one evening when the kids were out of town. No carbs, but I still don’t find it healthy. I miss drinking deeply. Unlike a lot of sober people I loved drinking until I black out, then waking up in a strange place and trying piece together what happened and who I needed to apologize to. In all honesty I haven’t had a night like that in three years. After my kids were born I vowed to give that up. I wasn’t ever going to let my vice make me a bad dad. Sorry for rambling, good luck Steve. I hope you find peace in sobriety.
Pretty happy to see the responses like I was expecting them. We're old(er) now, we've seen some shit, we've got some responsibilities, we've matured a bit in our outlooks... and we've got some empathy.