In other Jungle Julia news: as soon as I came home, the first thing out of her mouth was - I shit you not: "How fast can you get your dick hard?" Me: "Uhhhhhh, I don't know.... It depends... Why?" JJ: "Because I'm about to start my period, and I'm feeling crampy, and it feels like I need to pee, but I already peed, so I need you to fuck me to make it go away." I'll just leave the rest to y'all's imaginations.
Listening to Bill Laimbeer and Isiah Thomas on the new Jordan Netflix documentary gave me cancer. It’s been three decades and these petty, filthy fucktards haven’t learned a thing. At least we don’t have to watch them slew-foot every player on earth anymore.
No no, my man. I mean we eat like a buncha fatties here. The food places always optimistically think there are more people eating the food than are. In fact, I used to lie to the Chinese place we frequented before the move about number of forks needed. It made the visit slightly less shameful. Tbh we don't even use plasticware, would prefer it if they just left it out.
Mantises have always been one of my favorite insects. After watching that I may start breeding them. You can see the hornet struggling to get his stinger into position. If he had managed to twist around just a little more, that encounter might have turned out differently.
I like how it was still trying to swing the stinger around after the Mantis had eaten its head off. Reminded me of Anthony Hopkins standing behind him and cutting off parts of Ray Liotta's brain at the dinner table in Hannibal.
Praying Mantis are the most fearless and badass insect on the planet. Scorpions perfected the look, but the Mantis is the H.N.I.C. To attack a creature 1000x your mass, and put up a legit fight is just entirely different hardwiring: Since ancient times to this very day, People leash mantis with thin string to their bed posts at night to keep mosquitos out. Any bug entering that bedroom during the night becomes a gory lunch.
Every time my wife and I order Chinese food for ourselves, it comes with 4 or 5 fortune cookies, which they try and base on how many people the food is meant to feed. I consider it a badge of honour.
File this under "things I do not love." Getting a video call from my husband's nosy aunt through facebook messanger. Nooope. Nobody's home. Is this just new-age millennial decorum or is that just fucking weird? I have a hard time discerning if I am anti-social or people are just annoying.
Yea, at least this one person is annoying for sure. Video calls to me are a planned event generally reserved for people you miss seeing. So like, when my husband and I were long distance for awhile. Or my parents who live far away. Some of the past gchats with TiB members were amusing, but again...planned event. Anything else can be communicated via text. Text, messenger, email. Whatever. I hate talking on the phone too. I do it when needed for business reasons or to have a directed conversation but not for social. I don't get people who are on the phone for more than 20 minutes because they just want to chat. I miss body language and visual cues and just don't enjoy the conversation.
My daughters friend had a habit of accidentally calling my number when trying to reach my daughter for a FaceTime call. I didn’t recognize the number, but it was local, so I picked up, at which point we both would realize her mistake. All harmless, just teenage stupidity- until the third time, when I answered and she appeared on my phone in her bedroom. From the neck up, fortunately. At which point I told her to knock it off and put my name as a contact so she couldn’t make that mistake again, and I saved her number as a contact so that I’d know it was her and know not to answer.
And you are nervous why? You are the home of the most terrifying wasp on earth. The sting known as “Fifteen Minutes In Hell”. The Tarantula Hawk. Look at that 1/4 inch stinger. That gorgeous girl eats giant spiders alive and lays their eggs in them like a Xenomorph. Southern USA’s prettiest Hellspawn. they are also horrifyingly big:
Try New Mexico. But they aren’t “killer” towards humans. They’re generally shy towards most things except tarantulas, who they put through a plan of excruciating pain and suffering that then Devil himself couldn’t devise on his best day.
the literal advice of the guy that came up with the pain-index of stings for this, is" lay down and just scream"