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[WDT] HAIKU DAY [NSFW]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bewildered, Apr 17, 2020.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Happy Haiku day. Because I'm not feeling creative, here are a few to get you started from https://twitter.com/dirtyhaiku?lang=en

    Go into sex shop
    Grab handcuffs, take to counter
    Ask for kids sizes

    Facebook friend request
    High school? I have no idea.
    Ignore. You are fat.

    Diarrhea; BOOM!
    A splashing explosion.
    Now wipe off your balls.

    Do your worst, idiots.

    Oh, and happy Friday. Enjoy a nice mint julep this fine spring day.

    Mint Julep
    [​IMG]

    Ingredients:
    2 prigs of mint
    2 oz Black Maple Hill Bourbon
    .5 oz Simple Syrup
    Crushed Ice

    Instructions:
    In a julep cup (or a highball glass) muddle mint with the simple syrup. Fill cup 3/4 full with crushed ice. Add bourbon. Stir. Fill remaining glass with crushed ice and a sprig of mint.

    PS: WHY did this come up in my google image search for "haiku porn"?
    [​IMG]
     
  2. NatCH

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    I wrote this one a few weeks ago due to my yearly allergies.

    Tickle in My Throat:
    Please leave. This is not the time.
    You can fuck right off.

    here’s a sequel:

    Tickle’s still around
    Or only Rona symptom?
    Sorry, coworkers...


    Anyhoo...I joined a Facebook group that’s kinda like the AV Club music videos where they pick a song to cover. I am going to do Eternal Flame, and it’s gonna be amazing.
     
    #2 NatCH, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
  3. Misanthropic

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    That would be great if I had any mint. Or any Julep.

    The liquor cabinet is getting bare. Luckily a friend gifted me some Scotch last night, otherwise I’d be drinking shots of 43. Like Wednesday night. Tomorrow is going to be a good day for a mammoth liquor run.
     
  4. sisterkathlouise

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    What is this “spring” you speak of? It’s been snowing here all day. Might be time for a hot toddy instead.
     
  5. Nettdata

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    Same.

    booze supply dwindling
    small distilleries ship
    fed/ex for the win
     
  6. Revengeofthenerds

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    Allergies are bad
    Wish I had oximeter
    Might be dead soon, mmkay?
     
  7. bewildered

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    Got my free taters
    And bags of onions also
    We're turning Irish
     
  8. Kampf Trinker

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    We're even having 'cold' weather in northern Florida lately. At least it's keeping people indoors.

    I wish I could contribute more witticisms to this thread right now, but my life couldn't be more boring lately. Sleeping 14 hours a day between intermittently playing video games and passing back out. You older idiots are just going to have to carry the torch and regale us young-uns with tales of your exciting lives.
     
  9. Kampf Trinker

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    Wait, bewildered may have stumbled onto a fantastic idea here. Post your perversions and then write a haiku.

    Give me goat head.
    Do double titty twister in bed.
    Getting off is better than dead.

    Bewildered, you're into some freaky shit.

    [​IMG]

    Edit: Ok, I think it's because that pic is pulled from a video. Whatever. Here, you get the idea.

    [​IMG]
     
    #9 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
  10. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.

    Is this some sort of ASCII porn?
     
  11. Kampf Trinker

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    Can a man get off to some incomprehensible dots and lines without being judged to death?

    Jeez, people.
     
  12. bewildered

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    It's two against one
    Yes, your image is broken
    Fix your shit, my man
     
  13. Kampf Trinker

    Kampf Trinker
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    the second works fine
    shut yer yap
    and post more boobies
     
  14. bewildered

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    Oh look here's a man
    Who can't get the format right
    And asks for boobies?!
     
  15. Kampf Trinker

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    In other news I just saw a cat fight an armadillo outside my front door.

    For those wondering what happens when a cat and an armadillo do battle, well it turns out the armadillo curls up. The cat takes one swipe, just backs, hisses a little... and ... and the armadillo stays curled up, and the cat hisses again.... and... that's it.

    Holy fuck, I'm so bored.
     
  16. NatCH

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    Hey Kitty! Get ‘im!
    Fuck that armadillo good!
    I finished PornHub!
     
    #16 NatCH, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2020
  17. Revengeofthenerds

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    my cat jumps on them with her claws out, repeatedly, until I show up outside with a gun wondering what the commotion is about. Soon as she sees that gun she runs by my side with that “nanny nanny boo boo!!” face.

    cats are assholes y’all
     
  18. NatCH

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    “Shoot it,” - isn’t this
    Always how ‘Nerds solves problems?
    Well...except ladders
     
  19. Revengeofthenerds

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    Vermin straying close
    Gets you a new hole buddy
    Get off of my lawn
     
  20. bewildered

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    'Threes' has been a good time burner in these days of inactivity and house arrest. Anyone else play? What's your high score?
     
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