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[WDT] HAIKU DAY [NSFW]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bewildered, Apr 17, 2020.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Happy Haiku day. Because I'm not feeling creative, here are a few to get you started from https://twitter.com/dirtyhaiku?lang=en

    Go into sex shop
    Grab handcuffs, take to counter
    Ask for kids sizes

    Facebook friend request
    High school? I have no idea.
    Ignore. You are fat.

    Diarrhea; BOOM!
    A splashing explosion.
    Now wipe off your balls.

    Do your worst, idiots.

    Oh, and happy Friday. Enjoy a nice mint julep this fine spring day.

    Mint Julep
    [​IMG]

    Ingredients:
    2 prigs of mint
    2 oz Black Maple Hill Bourbon
    .5 oz Simple Syrup
    Crushed Ice

    Instructions:
    In a julep cup (or a highball glass) muddle mint with the simple syrup. Fill cup 3/4 full with crushed ice. Add bourbon. Stir. Fill remaining glass with crushed ice and a sprig of mint.

    PS: WHY did this come up in my google image search for "haiku porn"?
    [​IMG]
     
    #1 bewildered, Apr 17, 2020
  2. NatCH

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    I wrote this one a few weeks ago due to my yearly allergies.

    Tickle in My Throat:
    Please leave. This is not the time.
    You can fuck right off.

    here’s a sequel:

    Tickle’s still around
    Or only Rona symptom?
    Sorry, coworkers...


    Anyhoo...I joined a Facebook group that’s kinda like the AV Club music videos where they pick a song to cover. I am going to do Eternal Flame, and it’s gonna be amazing.
     
    #2 NatCH, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
  3. Misanthropic

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    That would be great if I had any mint. Or any Julep.

    The liquor cabinet is getting bare. Luckily a friend gifted me some Scotch last night, otherwise I’d be drinking shots of 43. Like Wednesday night. Tomorrow is going to be a good day for a mammoth liquor run.
     
    #3 Misanthropic, Apr 17, 2020
  4. sisterkathlouise

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    What is this “spring” you speak of? It’s been snowing here all day. Might be time for a hot toddy instead.
     
    #4 sisterkathlouise, Apr 17, 2020
  5. Nettdata

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    Same.

    booze supply dwindling
    small distilleries ship
    fed/ex for the win
     
    #5 Nettdata, Apr 17, 2020
  6. Revengeofthenerds

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    Allergies are bad
    Wish I had oximeter
    Might be dead soon, mmkay?
     
    #6 Revengeofthenerds, Apr 17, 2020
  7. bewildered

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    Got my free taters
    And bags of onions also
    We're turning Irish
     
    #7 bewildered, Apr 17, 2020
  8. Kampf Trinker

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    We're even having 'cold' weather in northern Florida lately. At least it's keeping people indoors.

    I wish I could contribute more witticisms to this thread right now, but my life couldn't be more boring lately. Sleeping 14 hours a day between intermittently playing video games and passing back out. You older idiots are just going to have to carry the torch and regale us young-uns with tales of your exciting lives.
     
    #8 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
  9. Kampf Trinker

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    Wait, bewildered may have stumbled onto a fantastic idea here. Post your perversions and then write a haiku.

    Give me goat head.
    Do double titty twister in bed.
    Getting off is better than dead.

    Bewildered, you're into some freaky shit.

    [​IMG]

    Edit: Ok, I think it's because that pic is pulled from a video. Whatever. Here, you get the idea.

    [​IMG]
     
    #9 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2020
  10. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.

    Is this some sort of ASCII porn?
     
    #10 toytoy88, Apr 17, 2020
  11. Kampf Trinker

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    Can a man get off to some incomprehensible dots and lines without being judged to death?

    Jeez, people.
     
    #11 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
  12. bewildered

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    It's two against one
    Yes, your image is broken
    Fix your shit, my man
     
    #12 bewildered, Apr 17, 2020
  13. Kampf Trinker

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    the second works fine
    shut yer yap
    and post more boobies
     
    #13 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
  14. bewildered

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    Oh look here's a man
    Who can't get the format right
    And asks for boobies?!
     
    #14 bewildered, Apr 17, 2020
  15. Kampf Trinker

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    In other news I just saw a cat fight an armadillo outside my front door.

    For those wondering what happens when a cat and an armadillo do battle, well it turns out the armadillo curls up. The cat takes one swipe, just backs, hisses a little... and ... and the armadillo stays curled up, and the cat hisses again.... and... that's it.

    Holy fuck, I'm so bored.
     
    #15 Kampf Trinker, Apr 17, 2020
  16. NatCH

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    Hey Kitty! Get ‘im!
    Fuck that armadillo good!
    I finished PornHub!
     
    #16 NatCH, Apr 17, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2020
  17. Revengeofthenerds

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    my cat jumps on them with her claws out, repeatedly, until I show up outside with a gun wondering what the commotion is about. Soon as she sees that gun she runs by my side with that “nanny nanny boo boo!!” face.

    cats are assholes y’all
     
    #17 Revengeofthenerds, Apr 17, 2020
  18. NatCH

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    “Shoot it,” - isn’t this
    Always how ‘Nerds solves problems?
    Well...except ladders
     
    #18 NatCH, Apr 17, 2020
  19. Revengeofthenerds

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    Vermin straying close
    Gets you a new hole buddy
    Get off of my lawn
     
    #19 Revengeofthenerds, Apr 17, 2020
  20. bewildered

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    'Threes' has been a good time burner in these days of inactivity and house arrest. Anyone else play? What's your high score?
     
    #20 bewildered, Apr 17, 2020
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