JULY 26, 2019 NATIONAL AUNT AND UNCLE’S DAY NATIONAL ALL OR NOTHING DAY NATIONAL GET GNARLY DAY NATIONAL BAGELFEST DAY NATIONAL SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR APPRECIATION DAY NATIONAL TALK IN AN ELEVATOR DAY NATIONAL COFFEE MILKSHAKE DAY Focus: Get Gnarly! Personally, I am growing my own personal forest on my set of tree trunks. Are you on your 4th day with no shower? Got any weird plans with peanut butter tonight? Alt focus: freak someone out by talking to them on the elevator. It's not illegal! Bonus points if you make them get off before their floor. Alt alt focus: Thank sys admin. That would be @Nettdata and @Binary .... unless I am getting your qualifications wrong. Any other sysadmins out there? Did you get a cake at work? A card? Totally ignored, just the way you like it? You know the drill. Drinkity drunkity. Get on uppity.
I've had a pretty miserable cold for most of the week. An entire pint of bourbon probably isn't the correct way to deal with it, but a general has to go to war with the army that he's got.
The usual amount. I see clean shaven legs, sir. Not on this body. That's some picture that came up with a Google image search for gnarly porn. The rest was simply too gnarly. Well I mean you probably would have liked it. But I try to keep it semi classy up in here, ya know?
I was my company's de facto SysAdmin for a stretch. When we finally hired a permanent guy, he spent his first two months unfucking all of the bubblegum and duct tape I put in the server room during that time. Fun fact: Benzocaine cough drops really take the edge off of the alcohol burn from doing shots.
Okay. I didn't think so, because you've posted pictures of yourself on the board, but that was years ago, so I wasn't 100% sure. These days, I just picture you as Molotov Cocktease when you post.
Here's something fun for y'all: Ever since the days of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig there have been stories of baseball players visiting sick kids and the kids asking the players to hit a home run for them. Some times the players succeed, other times they fail. Before tonight's game, Red Sox outfielder Mookie Betts met with a 10 year old Make a Wish foundation kid...a terminally ill child. That's already an awesome thing to do. The kid asked Mookie to hit a home run for him. Mookie hit 3 in the game. I know the 3 home run thing is a fluke, hell, even one home run would've been a fluke. Either way, it's awesome that Mookie came through for the kid.
I don't understand why people like Snickers so much, anyway. What an overrated candy bar. Then again, I've never been a candy person.
So we stopped in at this cat sanctuary that’s being built and today I got to pet an uncaged, untranquilized adult lion. Despite the trainer telling me this is a “house lion” that has always lived along people, I kept it quick and skeptical as possible. It’s crazy, though. This four hundred pound killing machine runs up to the fence at you and it’s rubbing it’s head against the wired mesh and purring, jumping around like a dog wanting to play fetch. Crazy. Somebody broke this fucking animal like none other. It should not be that way. But I’m STILL not passing up the opportunity to touch a live one, that’s for darn sure.
I had a friend that had a pet cougar. It was declawed and had it's canines removed, just in case. I got to play with it a few times...it loved to wrestle. Fuck. Me. Running. That thing was strong as hell and when it swatted you in the head with it's paw it rung your fucking bell like a steel toed boot to the melon.
They are machines. Their bodies are like tightly-coiled wiring. An encounter with a wild animal really lets you know how soft a human being is on a primal level. In Acapulco I thought it would be cool to have this busker’s young bonobo chimpanzee hang off my back for a photo. A car horn spooked it and you may as well have put me in a junkyard’s hoist claw. He was about to crush my torso easier than tinfoil. I have never felt ANYTHING like that, and it was spooked for only a split-second before it snapped out of it. I limped away and recovered a few seconds later, and turned around to the busker. “STRONG, isn’t she?” The guy said. He knows what just happened to me and he couldn’t stop laughing. Hey, I signed off on that. Stay the FUCK away from chimps, kids. That one was chalked up to young and stupid but never again, no matter how trained they are. That was terrifying.
Another friend of mine owns a wolf farm, not hybrids....full blooded wolves. I was allowed to get closer to the wolves (At least some of them, others just couldn't be trusted. At all.) then their visitors. They were fascinating. One thing that's always stood out in my mind is when my buddy brought a 6 week old wolf pup over....they were trying to get it assimilated to humans. It looked like a normal puppy, but it did not want human contact in any way, shape, or form. It wanted nothing to do with the other dogs that were over, it just roamed the perimeter of the fenced yard looking for a way out. Wild animals are hard wired much differently then domesticated animals.