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[WDT] FRIDAY FREEDOM [NSFW]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bewildered, Apr 5, 2019.

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  1. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    When you find out your mom is hoarding conecuh sausage in the freezer for you:

    [​IMG]

    Priorities, y'all.

    It's the weekend. Personally, it's my last weekend of freedom before having to WORK! Knowing that makes my free time much sweeter. I've managed to finish projects I started in October and my house is suddenly pretty clean and tidy.

    No fun holidays that I can identify, though we did just pass April Fool's day. Anybody get a good prank in on somebody? Hey @Revengeofthenerds did you glue your wife's ass to the toilet again?

    @Rush-O-Matic I didn't forget about you. Here's your T&A for the week. Unfortunately there was some borderline weird and boring shit that popped up for "freedom porn."

    [​IMG]


    Focus: Friday freedom

    Antifocus: You glued your wife's ass to the toilet seat and now are sitting in jail for domestic violence. Share jail stories (once you're out).
     
  2. wexton

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    Well my kids where brushing there teeth last last and i hurt one of the loudest cries from my little one. So i run to the bathroom and my daughter was like "he wanted to clean his ears so i did it for him". I looked in his ear and saw a little blood. So i drove him to emergency waiting for an hour just for the doctor to luckily tell us that it was just the inner ear, not the ear drum.
     
  3. bewildered

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    Is this your kid?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Juice

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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Was supposed to go out with a bunch of buddies tonight. Wife and daughter have both been pissing out their assholes since 2 am nonstop. I have lit candles. I have diffused essential whatevers. I have opened windows. I cannot escape the smells.
     
  5. Nettdata

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    Mr. Toast

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    Vics Vaporub smeared on the inside of the nostrils. If it works for rotting corpses, it should work for some butt juice.
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

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    Ohhh, that's where he got his user name.
     
  7. bewildered

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    It's the monkey's paw version of wanting juice.
     
  8. wexton

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    It actually came from a place of love, she just wanted to help out her baby brother. For right now they actually love each other very much.

    But when i picked her up from daycare/school after work she was like "i have a crush on boy1, but i also have a crush on boy2, but also boy1, but boy2 too. I just hope they have a crush back." She turns 6 at the end of may.
     
  9. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    My step father had a very rare and deadly type of cancer, he had two surgeries (first one didn’t work) so he was about to go to one of the major cancer hospitals in the US when the latest surgery apparently removed it all.

    Of course they told us this on a group text, on April 1. Only my wife and I thought it was funny when I asked if it was an April fools joke. Glad it wasn’t.
     
  10. toytoy88

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    I had my first complaint against me at work today. Some woman asked me "Do you even know what you're doing?" (Which given this is a new job in a new field is a pretty damn good possibility, but in this case it wasn't. She was asking me to do something that was quite impossible.)

    As soon as she asked me that I realized there was no correct answer to her question. No matter what I answered I was going to sound like a smart ass, so I went all in and simply replied "No." And not another word. She was silent for at least 30 seconds while I guess she tried to process my response. She finally formed a reply which was approximately "SCREEEEEECH."

    At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I made her day much worse than she made mine. My boss laughed at the complaint.
     
  11. Bundy Bear

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    I'm coaching the under 16s hockey teams this year for my club. It fell to me because we've had no other interest at all. During the week I had some complaints emailed to the committee to do with the way in which I spoke to a couple of them. Pretty sure the ones who complained didn't even have their kids involved in that session either. Never mind the fact that one of the kids was doing something stupid and dangerous and the group as a whole don't listen so well at the best of times.

    In short, if they don't like ya, fuck em anyway haha.
     
  12. Kampf Trinker

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    My senior year of high school I had to finish a bunch of requirements for IB and after getting kicked out of various programs like retirement home visits and whatnot, I had to resort to coaching elementary student soccer to fulfill the community service requirement. Worst job ever.
    Whatever asshole organized it allocated me 25 kids for 7v7 soccer games. The kids were great. The parents were fucking horrible. Games consisted of about 20% coaching and 80% me trying to shoo parents away for constantly bitching that their all star super stud kid who was barely old enough to read wasn't getting the playing time merited by their supernatural abilities.
    I quit literally the exact minute my community service hours were completed. Total dick move, but seriously, fuck every parent who ever spoke to me in that league.
     
  13. toytoy88

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    I can empathize. Years ago I was an unofficial coach on my boy's little league team. The kids were great. The parents not so much.

    I can deal with someone asking me why their kid isn't pitching when they can't hit the broadside of a barn. What I couldn't deal with is some parent demanding that their kid, who can't hit the broad side of a battleship, pitch and then threatening me with physical violence if they don't get their way.

    Those poor kids have no chance in life. It's a fucking game, some kids are good at it, some aren't. If your kid isn't good at it, who cares? Do they enjoy it? Then leave them be, go sit your ass down and let them be a kid playing a game they enjoy.
     
  14. Bundy Bear

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    That's it aye, I coached junior cricket a couple years ago and there were some kids from shitty homes in the side but for the most part those kids had a ball all season. I'll treat theis group exactly the same way. I've never had a problem relating with kids while coaching, treat them like an adult and they're generally pretty good. If they start dicking around too much send them for a run.
     
  15. bewildered

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    We visited a city park where a kid's little league football team was practicing and the parents were horrible. Seeing a bunch of overweight asshole parents yelling at their toddlers in oversized football helmets was surreal. I was almost hoping for cameras, like this is all staged. No, these freaks were for real.
     
  16. Kampf Trinker

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    Yeah, the worst is when one of those types end up coaching the team. I tend to think there is something seriously wrong with someone who gets that invested into which group of 8 year olds wins. We had a manager meeting awhile back at work and the head honcho randomly went off into this story about his youngest (who is about ten) playing in some kiddie golf league and one of moms told the kids the most important thing was to have fun. So... he goes off into this spiel about how he grabbed his kid and was yelling at him about never listening to someone like that. Then he spins it off into some documentary or whatever the fuck he watched called "How to Destroy America" *The answer is apparently letting children lose at golf.* Man, that was awkward. It wasn't even so much what he said as how fired up he was about it.

    Anyway, boobs.
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    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  17. toytoy88

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    I saw that once when my boy was on a traveling team. Holy shit. I don't remember what happened, but whatever it was it sent the coach into hysterics. He threw bats and helmets every which way in the dugout while screaming "MOTHER FUCKER, COCK SUCKING, THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKING SHIT" in front of a bunch of cowering 12-14 year old kids. My eyes immediately went to the parents of that team in the stands (If my boy had a coach that acted that way, I would've pulled him off the field right then and there) and they all sat there like that was perfectly normal behavior.

    The other one that blew my mind was the way the poor umpires were treated....many of them were high school kids and the parents heaped abuse on those poor kids without mercy. How fucked up does your life have to be that you think it's okay to yell obscenities at some kid? I never got that.
     
  18. Czechvodkabaron

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    I thought that my dad went tough on me as a kid when he coached me in baseball, but looking back on it he probably wasn't that bad. He sometimes argued with the umpires, but he never cussed at them or got ejected from a game. He also didn't believe in using the one hour a week we got for practice time to make us run laps. The last year that I played, my sophomore year of high school, he and my mom were on the board at our park and he at least spoke out against some of these traveling teams. When I first started playing tee ball I think that the traveling teams started at age 11, which is bad enough, but by the time that I was in high school the park had traveling teams for 7 and 8 year olds who played like 50 games in the span of 4 months. Their rationale? "The kids want better competition." Any parent who would sign up their kid for that should be locked away for child abuse.

    The first year that my dad coached was when I was 7. After a game he was cornered by a father of a kid on my team who complained about his son always playing outfield (he did occasionally play 3rd base) and that I wasn't very good at 2nd base. Okay, so my dad was a little delusional about the fact that I didn't inherit his athleticism, but this kid wasn't any better than I was with a glove or throwing the ball. My dad had to work at his bartending job after that game, so he was not too thrilled about that. After that season was over he also got a letter in the mail from a father of another kid on that team who I was actually friends with and who my dad had actually sent to the all star team that year asking my dad not to draft him the next year because my dad "didn't teach fundamentals." I don't think that I ever hung out with him after that.

    I actually did make all stars the next year when I was 8, and Hunter Cantwell's and Cullen Harper's fathers coached the team. Funny story: Cullen told his dad that he didn't want to play for Hunter's dad the next year because of the way he behaved. Also, the next year, my dad drafted a kid who I knew a little bit from school. At the draft Hunter's dad told him that he made a mistake and this kid was a pain in the ass. I thought it odd since I knew him to be a nice guy and he was actually moved up a grade. It turned out that he was a really good pitcher, but nobody had ever really worked with him before. My dad discovered this about a lot of kids whose dads' didn't coach. But this kid turned out to be one of my best friends growing up, and I even used to think that my dad liked him better than he liked me.

    We also heard a story about a father having to have the cops called on him because he ran out onto the field and argued with the umpires during a tee ball game the year before I started playing. I know that testosterone can make you do fucked up things, but I just never understood how any parent could behave like that.
     
  19. walt

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    I've never understood why people sign their kids up for travel teams in the first place. Working a 40 hour week and then driving 500 miles for a hockey/lacrosse/baseball game? Fuck that.
     
  20. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    If you get emotional over your child losing at anything then you already have issues. Vicarious people should be castrated. The last thing a parent should be doing is using their own child as prop to fulfill their life-void.
     
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