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[WDT] DAY OF THE DEAD [NSFW]

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by bewildered, Nov 2, 2018.

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  1. Rush-O-Matic

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    Everywhere is within an Uber ride. Look out, Juice.



    Side note: That video has over 14 million views. I have no idea who MrBeast is, but apparently everyone else does? Is it just for rich white kids that play video games or something?
     
  2. Now Slappy

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    How do you not know that New Mexico is a state?
     
  3. Aetius

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    That map is a stunning indictment of our educational system. Just off the top of my head:
    • It's missing New Mexico entirely
    • It's missing Rhode Island entirely
    • Wyoming is famously a rectangle, and he turned it into some Nebraska looking monster
    • The Florida panhandle is actually inverted in two dimensional space, which is just impressive
    • New York is landlocked
    • One of New Jersey or Delaware is missing entirely
    • What I think is West Virginia is a square
    • He added a state in between Virginia and North Carolina
    • He added a state in between Mississippi and Louisiana
    • He turned Lake Michigan into a state
    • Michigan's Upper Peninsula is missing
    • He made Colorado and Kansas into one long-ass state
    • I think he cut Louisiana into three pieces? Or maybe one of those pieces is the Florida panhandle which somehow blocks Louisiana from the coast? Who the fuck knows
    • The Cape Cod, Chesapeake, and San Francisco Bays are nowhere to be found
    • Now I'm getting nitpicky, but where the fuck is Long Island?
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    His philtrum is taking over his head and he can't move his upper lip. In short I want to punch him in the face.
     
  5. GTE

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    Just a full grown baby walking down the road at eight in the morning.
     

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  6. Rush-O-Matic

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    How else is he supposed to get to work? It's not like he can drive.
     
  7. Kampf Trinker

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    It really blows my mind how useless and clueless some people are. We had a new driver start today. He shows up and tells me he has to leave to go pay a speeding ticket he got about 3 weeks ago. So many questions:

    - Why the fuck didn't you pay it in the last 3 weeks when you weren't working? You haven't got paid here yet so obviously you had the money.
    - Why don't you just pay it online?
    - Why don't you just pay it over the phone?

    Whatever. So he leaves and I don't hear from him again until 3pm when he tells me he's done and asks if he can for real start tomorrow morning. No dumbass, you've already been fired for about 4 hours. I knew he was going to be a dumpster fire during the phone interview when asked to describe himself he responded with "I'm 6'4", cut, and very good looking." Of course my boss wants to hire him for some fucking reason.

    Ugh, at least he was quick and painless. The hire before that lasted 5 weeks before getting rid of him was finally approved. He was bipolar, at a minimum. When he got fired he paced around the shop crying his eyes out for 90 minutes straight. It was very awkward. Then he kept calling back to ask if people could fill out his time sheet and other weird excuses. I'm still finding stuff all over the shop that he fucked up. I could write a novel about all the dumb shit he did in barely over a month. Nothing was retard proof for that one. For example, he couldn't understand that to unstrap the truck you had to push DOWN. He would just jerk the bar from side to side with a retarded strained look on his face. It was surreal. The most incredible thing might have been that his method of cleaning the chips out of the bandsaw was trying to force them through the coolant grate. He couldn't get them through, mostly, but that sure as shit didn't stop him from trying. How the fuck could you possibly think that was the way to do it? And this is after I had shown him how to do it 5 times already. Unfuckingbelievable.

    The other recent resume I got uses the word nomenclature no less than 15 times, and uses it wrong every single time without fail. The temp agency who sent that to us told us that his work experience was so fucking awesome we were going to have to pay him 25-40% above what we planned for the starting pay. The nomenclature shit was one thing. The rest of the resume, which was THREE pages long was him just talking about how he had done inventory at this job and that job. "So I picked up the inventory and set it in it's inventory slot." Yeah, that repeated over and over for three pages with "nomenclature" randomly thrown in for no discernible reason.

    So apparently $15-17 an hour doesn't even buy you that retard these days.
     
  8. dixiebandit69

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    This reminds me of an argument that I had to settle between two guys when I was in prison:
    One guy was arguing that Texas borders California, the other claiming that Colorado was between Texas and California.

    Really.

    If there was one good thing about prison, it made me feel really smart.

    EDIT:
    Today one guy quit where I work. On one hand, I'm glad, because he wasn't very bright, WOULDN'T bring his own tools (so he used everyone elses'), and he would fuck things up a lot.
    He DID have years of experience, though, so if the job wasn't too complicated, he could get it done.
    Not gonna say that I'm sorry to see him go.

    The problem is that that leaves an even LESS competent guy in the shop who fucks up constantly, and is a lazy motherfucker to boot. I've got to constantly check up on him, or else a simple, one hour job (Ex: replacing an alternator) could literally take all day.

    Well, at least I've got job security!
     
    #288 dixiebandit69, Nov 14, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018
  9. Crown Royal

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    That’s the Are You Happy Now Law, you need to take what you get sometimes. For example: “Are you happy now that you talked your daughter into ditching the loser she’s dating, and she rebounds with an even bigger schmuck??”

    You have to remember that most blue collar workers are lazy morons who didn’t apply themselves previously in life. Like the guy two days ago who almost wrecked a Milwaukee battery using it to hammer in a SCREW. It’s like something Matt Groening would write. Give him a broom. There. Touch nothing else but that broom. Tard.

    I love listening to some of these guys “Big Plans” they’ve got lined up around the corner. This guy I’m training in a machine (who constantly keeps untucking his gold chains) brags to me about how he has “rich blood” and “rich taste” and won’t settle for living in some galley-kitchen 2-bedroom apartment. He has a lot more grey hair than I do, and he gets dropped off by his mom and picked up by his mom. Big plans.
     
    #289 Crown Royal, Nov 14, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018
  10. Clutch

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    I once had a recruiter for Chase cold call me and say that he wanted to try and place me for an interview, but my resume was too short. He sent me an example from someone he'd gotten hired that was 27 pages and basically documented every time the guy had ever scratched his balls while on the clock. I responded that I wasn't interested in working for a company that would even bother reading a 27-page resume, and then he sent me a crazy, rambling rant about how I was unemployable despite the fact that I was already employed and that he had reached out to me.
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    The most comical resume moment of my life happened a few months ago. I had gone into the office section of my work to use the printer and while waiting noticed the resume pile on the desk next to me. I’m no eavesdropper, but it’s hard not to notice that top resume was hand written on lined paper.

    Like...really? I mean even back in the day before computers were in every home, a resume was important. You went to the library and used the typewriter so it looked remotely professional. But lined paper, dude? He had “Freestyle rapper” and “Blue Belt in Karate” under job qualifications. By the time I saw that I visibly started cracking up, and had to briskly walk back into the plant before anybody could ask me what my problem was.
     
  12. scotchcrotch

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    It’s amazing how many people try to apply for an office job without a resume. I constantly receive “The job sounds perfect. How do I apply?”. No resume or cover letter.


    I usually respond “with a resume” and I receive one a small fraction of the time.

    Resumes are, apparently, a pretty big inconvenience to job seekers.
     
  13. toytoy88

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    You might remember a while back I mentioned buying an old Soviet wind up watch. Surprisingly, not only does it look great, but it keeps good time too. Tonight I broke down and bought another Pobeda, this one is kind of cool because it was issued in honor of Yuri Gagarin being the first person in outer space....and it's neat looking. It should have the same movement as my other one, so hopefully it's just as reliable.

    pobeda.PNG
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    IN RUSSIA WATCH WINDS YOU.
     
  15. NatCH

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    They always fall for the Soviet propaganda...



    ...like clockwork.
     
  16. Rush-O-Matic

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    Hey, now. Watch it.
     
  17. toytoy88

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    Aren't you Russian to judgement here?
     
  18. NatCH

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    Hey, when the Soviet machine gets in gear, the time to stop it has passed.
     
  19. GTE

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    I hope they can get the fires under control. Schools are shut down, businesses are giving away proper respiratory masks, I'm probably going to let my employees go home as soon as their pressing jobs are finished. The air is so bad out here. I can't see the town of Paradise recovering anytime soon. I saw some drone footage earlier and the town is gone. Just nothing left.
     

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  20. Crown Royal

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