Today I turn 29. I got some pretty cool gifts from The Girlfriend, including 1.9 pounds of Sour Patch Kids (hard to come by in Asia). I'll skype the fam, watch the Wolverine and eat a massive fucking steak, then meet some friends to play Cards Against Humanity. Seriously, buy this game, it has the feel of this place, only with horrified eavesdroppers. I feel a bit more introspective on birthdays than most folks and I will axe murder the first person to sing at me in a restaurant, despite how hilarious that would be for a Korean waitstaff. I need an upgrade and a birthday is a damned good excuse to do that.
Holy sweet black baby jesus help me. I am at an in-law family gathering and I can't drink. This probably won't end well.
Best I could do on my lunch break Cold Keystone in the fridge but I am stuck at work, I switch back to 8 hour shifts next week which is fantastic, 10 hour days getting old.
Yes. With my in-laws, it isn't a gathering unless there is alcohol. I can't even fathom the situation described above. Thank God my wife's family loves the booze.
I really do not understand the concept of "gathering without alcohol." It's either provided or you bring some to share. Is your family a bunch of teetotalers? Did some dunce make the executive decision to ban liquor? How does this even happen.
Lo, my son. Verily a predicament like this arises upon all of Black Jesus' children. Listen thusly. Drop thine pants and shake thy wiener forcefully so that it slaps against each thigh. Sayeth The Lord. Hmm, ok. What does a quick google search come up with? I expected worse. Admit it, you all expected worse.
Come on now, she's not even hot. Cute maybe but not hot. And yes I did which is why I searched "hot chicks with footballs". I know better.
I have a new game involving SnapChat and the GF. I take a Snap of my dong and then use the pencil feature and draw costumes on it. Today I drew on a cowboy hat, red vest & blue jeans with the caption "Howdy Partner" I'm thinking for the next one I'll put on one of those Chinese hats, a robe and a fu manchu
They are all bible thumpers and they are no kin to me... at least not by blood. I am the heathen and I am pretty sure my mother in law is scared of me. If they do drink, it's wine coolers or zima. I may have to break out a firearm to liven things up.
That is one of the most unpleasant images ever posted on this board. I'm honestly impressed; it's a relatively high standard with CJ around. And yes, CJ, that is a challenge.
I came across it on /b/ quite some time ago. Since then it's been sitting on my hard drive unsettling and corrupting other files in the system just waiting for the day some unfortunate bastard announced it was their birthday and I could release it back into the wilds of the internet.