WDT 6/11/10 OMG THE FUCKING WORLD CUP. SOCCER CHICKS PICS

I saw Shrek 3 on a plane, and you can get the Spanish dubbing by changing the headphone channel. The voice sounded like Antonio Banderas.

Shrek talking with a sexy latin accent was funnier than anything we has was saying in English.

 

795 pounds is the world's fattest now? Boy, our fatties are slipping. I remember when that wouldn't have even made the top ten.

Come on fat asses, eat.

Edit: Look at him, being carted around in a bed with a comfy hoody on. Lucky asshole.

 

Wow, what a waste of a Sunday. My dad, step-mom and brother all went and did some bike ride thing over the course of the last 4 days and asked me to come pick them and their bikes up in bum-fuck Oklahoma and take them home. I said I would because I am a good son, however I didn't realize the whole affair would end up wasting ten hours.

I mean, its nice to see my dad and all, but the 3-4 hour drive down there was pretty painful, and I could think of quite a few things I would rather have spent my day doing.

 

Can someone tell me why lifeguards are such assholes? Is that a prerequisite for the job, or are they trained to bahave that way?
I was going to mention this yesterday, but I was dog-tired.
When my son and I went to a public pool, this is the treatment we recieved:
-we were not allowed to hang onto the side of the pool.
-He could not jump off of my shoulders (into the water, while I was in shoulder-deep water)
-I could not dive into the deep end of the pool (9 feet deep) UNLESS I dove off of the 1-foot high diving board.
-No one was allowed to do a head-first dive off of the diving board.
-L'il Bandit could not ride on my back in the water, even though I was standing head-and-shoulders above the water level.

The lifeguards on duty wouldn't give me an explaination for any of this; they simply retorted "That is against the rules."
And despite all of this "safety" bullshit they were trying to push on the patrons, I saw one lifeguard push another into the water.
That is the same kind of hypocritical behavior I have observed from lifeguards my whole life.

FUCK LIFEGUARDS. Hell, I can go to the beach, where there are sharks, stingrays, jellyfish, undertows and rip-tides, but there are no lifeguards. If anything wouldn't a public pool be the safest place you could swim?!

Here is an excerpt from my blog about groups of people I can do without:

Spoiler

2. Lifeguards. Sorry folks, but I haven't met a lifeguard yet that wasn't a full time cunt rag, on and off the job. Like security guards, they are on this insane powertrip because of their pseudo-authority. They are constantly blowing their whistles, stopping people from having fun at the pool. And like security guards, they never do what their title says; when is the last time you saw a lifeguard save anyone? Really. Oh wow, you took a 6 hour training course on how to do CPR. Blow me.

Oh, and I have a funny story dealing with lifeguards. A few years back, I was going to the pool, but before the fuckwad, I mean lifeguard, would let me in, she demanded that I show her the crotch netting on my swimsuit. Despite my repeated requests for explaination, she would not clarify the reason why this was necessarry. So I showed her something alright; I showed her my swimsuit netting by completely pulling down the front of my shorts, exposing not only the netting in question, but my gear as well. She was shocked. She called her supervisor, and they didn't let me into the pool that day. But I did accomplish something : from that day forward, they never asked me or anyone else to show netting again.

Here is the response I got from a girl I personally know who was a lifeguard (though I seriously don't know how she got the job, as she struck me as being too small to save anyone (really, she was less than 5 feet tall and weighed about 100 pounds):

Okay I pretty much can agree with you on most of these with the exception of the lifeguard one. And probably only because I was a lifeguard and it's one of the most tiring and stressfull jobs anyone can have.(Or that I've had).

First off ...It's our job to have authority over people in the water because if some one acts up and accidentally(horse playing etc.) kills someone else (by drowning) then it's our ass for not paying attention. Can you imagine what that could do to someones brain. I'd be fucked up for life if I knew someone died because of me just because I didn't want to be "authoritative".

Second....blowing our wistles is the only way for us to grab someones attention example...the stupid idiot in the water doing something along the lines of laying through 4 or 5 inner tubes at once...when those things are totally dangerous if not used correctly. I've seen a woman almost drown because she floated upside down while doing that. Her face was under water and feet were in the air and was stuck in the tubes....if it hadn't been for one of my fellow life guards...she wouldn't be here. The only times I had to blow my whistle is when the stupid little kids kept running everywhere when clearly concrete...wet concrete isn't the best place to run. Hear the whistle....pay attention to rules...no problems right? Don't act up and that won't happen. If you want to act up at a pool....go to a private one...where no lifeguards are involved.

And lastly....lifeguards have tremendous responsiblities. Everyone's life is in your hands at all times. Lifeguards have to always be on their guard no matter what. Try standing in the heat of hell for sometimes 8 hours a day with little rest. (Thats what I did. I worked at Super Splash) We couldn't sit down and we had to wait and wait for our breaks to come up to rest. Our lifeguards saved lives everyday...little kids that without our help would have been dead. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Think of it this way...would you rather have something aweful happen to someone you love....or have an extra pair of eyes watching him/her incase yours fail to. Don't ever underestimate the importance of a lifeguard...God forbid you'd ever need one...but if one day you do...I promise you won't feel the same about them.

 

I drank and played enough soccer at the BBQ I was at that I was damn near sweating beer. I stank like Molson Canadian and Coors. Now I get to pack suitcases for the next two days. Fuck yeah.

 

NSFW

 

It was one of the most confusing couple of minutes I've had in a long time.

Alas, I was half way across the province at my friends lake front cabin, getting sun burned, drunk and idiotic. It was great times, hung out with good friends again. Brought my roommate who is newly single (ie: a couple months ago) and got him into the fray of my friends.

Hopefully it'll stay dry tomorrow, got the day off and want to hit up the new board again. I also got new glasses, I am so sexy.

 

Most confusing, yet most awesome when you figured out who it was. Apparently I called him some names, yet sounded super sexy, so you can take that for what it's worth.

Also, I will be venturing into international waters any day now... guarancheese it.

 

I feel like vacuum packed beef jerky this morning thanks to a weekend diet of beer, cigars, red meat, and salty snacks.

Asian soccer girls... yay

 

So far I've had minimal interest in the whole World Cup soccer.

I have watched about 10 minutes in total so far only to be annoyed by the constant buzzing sound of the "vuvuzela" horns or whatever the hell else the fans are blowing at the games.

Can't the network(s) filter out this annoying shit ?