I've been busy observing National Gardening Day, but what's new? I spread 3 wheel barrow fulla of duck shit straw on garden beds. Happy Friday! I wore a little more than that today, especially since I was working out front. And good grief, I realized why I subconsciously avoid working out there in favor of the backyard. Timelines be damned on your project, a neighbor WILL come out to chat for an hour. I love my neighbors but I got some shit to do. Anyway. It's also National Ex Day. Vent, girl. I want to hear about your totally bonkers ex.
Whew. Well, here are some highlights 9of some of the girls I dated longer than just a couple months: “Kelsey.” Lived with her friend and her friend’s parents because her dad was in prison and her mom was a shacked up with a sex offender. Her friend’s mom tried kissing me twice when I was 16. That was uncomfortable. Kelsey found out and blamed me and told a bunch of other girls I gave her an STD (I didn’t). Which ended up having the unintended impact of people thinking she also had an STD, which was a far bigger scandal than the claim that I gave her one. “Sara.” Got along well with her and her parents. One time I was hanging out with my friend and his girlfriend. We went to a local bar to check it out and it ended up being the saddest strip club in history. I told my GF about the odd experience and she went absolutely mental about me going to a strip club. Screaming and crying on the phone until her dad got on and threatened me. Sara had been cheating on me the entire relationship. She ended up getting pregnant by some guy who was dishonorably discharged. “Erika.” Stunningly beautiful and was voted one of the most eligible bachelorettes in Manhattan or some shit. She was almost impossibly stupid. Not that she wasn’t a nice person, she was just really dumb. You could not have a conversation with her on anything whatsoever without her getting confused or being completely unable to engage. She was like Rita from Arrested Development. I eventually ended it because it was just so dull being around her. She became a news anchor or something.
I have an ex-wife who lied about being on birth control to get pregnant, and once threw an ice-cream cake out on the front lawn. We had a kid. She has been a thorn in my ass for the last twenty years, although I must admit that since Li'l Bandit has become an "adult," I haven't seen or spoken to her in about two years. I've dated my share of crazy/ needy/ stupid/ druggy girls over the years, but I was always able to get rid of them when things got bad because I DIDN'T have a kid with them.
Reverse Uno- some of my exes were a bit nutty, but I’ll humble brag a little bit and say how remarkable it is that I kept very good relationships with most of my exes that in some cases continue to this day. My first serious girlfriend, also my first fiancé, fell completely off the radar after we broke up and that was a good thing, but she wasn’t a terrible/nutty person. Other than that I’ve maintained decent, appropriate (I’m married after all) with nearly all of my “serious “ girlfriends. One I worked with for 20+ years. Another went on to get married and have a kid but still kept in touch, despite, as she always reminded me, I “dumped her not once but twice.” I’ll chalk it up to not messing with the truly crazy chicks and not being an asshole during or while ending relationships.
My first girlfriend cheated on me so I revenge fucked some chick on a cruise. I was too whiskey dicked to finish, then a few months later I had brain surgery. On the one year anniversary of that surgery I met my now-wife. We got engaged, and married, young. She was 19 and I was 20 when I proposed. Y'all gave me endless shit for it on here, though admittedly I was still fucking stupid. I stand by my logic at the time though, in that it's like playing slots in the casino: when you go up big, you cash out and walk away. She was as hot as I could do, and she actually tolerated me. So I locked that fucker up. It'll be 13 years this June. Still haven't let her out of the basement.
Two notable, one certifiably crazy, the other run of the mill crazy. Anna- Coworker. First date when I asked her if she had a DUI because she didnt drive herself to work she broke down immediately and told me she had been in a rehab facility for bulimia after trying to kill herself with pills when she was dating a married doctor she worked with who was also her dad's best friend. She had almost died from bulimia as well. We went to the next bar and she begged me to guess her weight, I refused, so she tricked this couple into doing it and then she went outside and had a heap of tears crying panic attack. This was the first date and I still ended up dating her for 3-4 months. She was a boderline personality. Love bombing one moment, viciously mean and in tears the next. You could feel how bad she handled anxiety. She had just had a baby when she started working with me. She told me once she'd never imagine doing it but "she understood why some mothers end up drowning their kids in the bathtub." Eventually the stress of the job and our arguing she blew up one night at me at work and stormed out and that was that. Ally- Another coworker Girlfriend who just broke up with me. Middle easterner. Married to a guy back in her home country. They didnt get to date because he was muslim and she moved to America a month after they got married and she hadnt seen him in 5 years. Our second date we went to a restaurant her friend owned. Her friend called and told another, supposed, ex-boyfriend she was there with a guy. So this huge burly guy shows up yelling at her in Arabic and I just stood there hoping I wouldnt have to fight him if he ended up hitting her. He sped off in a rage without incident. She swore up and down the rest of the relationship they never dated, she even went as far as recording a phone call and making me listen to it when some trashy gossip spread amongst her friends about them(some real Jerry Springer trailer trash shit). Eventually another one of her friends we worked with dimed us to her husband that we spent every break together. We had to hide the relationship at work from then on out and it caused most of the strife that ended up dooming it. She was psycho about it and get upset if she perceived that I wasnt hiding it enough. Id get pissed she wasnt serious about leaving him. She was also the super jealous type who accused me of being in love with a couple of girls she suspected I liked. She went back to visit him for a couple of months and broke up with me the week she got back, and surprise surprise got knocked up while she was away. It was a bad situation all around but she is a very sweet girl. We're still on good terms but it's still kinda raw for me, hence the storybook here. Ain't love grand?
I used to date the daughter of a moderately popular 80s singer. I won’t say who, but given the age of this board I imagine you’d all recognize some songs of his catalog. She loved to make out and fuck to music. In particular, her dad’s music. I don’t think you’ve really fucked a girl until you’ve fucked her while her dad’s sweet crooning is coming out of the CD player. I still listen to his music, but not while fucking. Mostly.
Man.. what a Saturday. It was high temps, like highest in 140 years kind of temps... did a bit of work around the house but not too much due to the heat being thrown out there. Got the outside water running again which the dog really appreciated... but have to fix some leaks, and of course we're due to get 20mm of rain tomorrow and snow on Monday. So yay. Had the neighbours come over for a glass of wine on the deck this evening, and it turned into us getting fucking hammered on 4 bottles of wine. So here's to local neighbourhood relations. Also made a killer new salmon dish tonight for dinner that i've never tried before... it was awesome. Basically a piece of salmon coated in home made tariyaki sauce, placed on mashed potatoes that had ginger, garlic, and wasabi in it, wrapped in smoked salmon and then baked in the oven at 400° for 20 mins. FUCKING DELICIOUS. Happy Saturday... it didn't suck.
I was about 22 or 23. I started dating this girl that had just graduated highschool, she'd turned 18 a few months prior. She was stunning, looking like Kathy Ireland in Necessary Roughness. But this relationship wouldn't last long. She still lived at home, with very strict parents, so we didn't get to see each other the same way typical partners did. I think we did only one actual date, in the evening, dinner at a restaurant type date. She would usually sneak over to my house early in the morning, before she had to work and crawl in bed. Or for an hour or so after she got off work. One Friday, a couple of my friends stopped by my house with their girlfriends. One of those friends needed a shower so he went to do that, the rest of us sat on the porch having a beer. This girl pulled up after work, like she would do. She saw my friend and I, and two girls sitting on the porch. She backed out of the driveway and started smoking the back tire on her Ford Ranger. She left in a cloud of smoke. That was when I decided that it wasn't going to work. She came back later, after the others had gone. She started yelling and accusing me of cheating. I'd had some beers, so I thought a surefire way of proving I hadn't had sex with one of those girls was to pull out my weiner... so she could tell it didn't smell like another girl's vag. She grabbed it and started pulling me around the house by it. Not in a gentle, follow-me-to-bed kind of way. More like a you-better-keep-up-or-it-will-come-off-and-that-would-make-her-happy kind of way. That was that, didn't see her for a long time. She started sleeping with a friend a few years later and I told him the story. He said she had mellowed out, but I think it ended kinda wild for him, too..
just watched the "American Manhunt" on Netflix. The docu-series about the Boston Marathon bombings. Holy fucking shit. Boston was 10 years ago yesterday. Holy fucking shit. I know the impact that moment had on me. I was watching the marathon live when the first bombs went off. Procrastinating for law school and questioning if I really wanted to continue there anyway. Went to this board to try to figure out what the fuck happened, weirdly enough. Aside from classes, I was glued to the tv until that manhunt was over. I've been obsessed with running Boston since I was little, but even then it was like riding in the tour de france to someone who rides their Schwinn around the block. Today, getting a BQ at some point is actually a reasonable goal. And that ended up being the moment that took the last bit of wind out of my sails for law school. I was talking about it with my wife last night. It was one of the more profound moments in my life. That docu-series hit like a ton of bricks. Netflix added the stories to everyone involved. The details I didn't know. One reporter went to dagestan, where the elder brother was reportedly "radicalized" according to popular perception at the time. He learned that the terrorist just lived a normal life there, and in fact became militant when he returned home to the US and blamed his struggle in life on society and the government (not unlike the far right now, imo). He wrote an article explaining as such, adding a depth to the story. He was accused of humanizing the terrorists. Got a death threat saying "I hope you or someone you know gets killed by an Islamic terrorist so you know how it feels." Told the camera he actually did lose someone to an Islamic terrorist. His dad was on one of the planes that hit the Twin Towers. And that "every 9/11 I have to see them blow up again. Every year I see my father die." Holy fucking shit.
It certainly isn't the most unpleasant thing to happen to me or my reproductive equipment in my lifetime.
Fuck that. Women like that stab men in their sleep and are one of the reasons for why they built psych hospitals. She should be chained to a wall to protect society. you escaped, by tell that to the next guy who wakes to find her standing over him, cackling madly, wearing a mask made from her dad’s face while clutching a rusted ice hook.
What the fuck kind of trauma do you have in your past to hold this kind of world view??? Women who kill their partners are in the VAST minority, and in the cases where it happens they have often been abused by their partners previously. Depending on your source and the data they draw from, men account for 95-98% of intimate partner homicide. I know women can be perpetrators of abuse in relationships but come the fuck on.
She's nearly 40 years old now. She's either matured into a reasonably normal woman capable of sustaining balanced relationships, or she's really good at hiding the bodies of past lovers. I don't know which, though.
Mental illness does not get put away with our childish things. The people I know who had issues, still have issues. How they tackled them as adults varies wildly between the individuals. Some who accepted what they have maturely are doing as good or better than me, others now live in the woods or under overpasses.