Wait, what was that word? Yeah, I can't take you seriously

There are certain words that trigger in me a Pavlovian dismissal of a fellow human being, completely irrespective of the context they're used in. They are words with such a perfect correlation to ignorance, obnoxiousness and/or general worthlessness that I feel no need to consider any other aspect of the person's character, appearance or speech before judging them.

From the realms of feminism:

Dudebro - I can't tell if they've completely missed the irony in using a generalized gendered insult in their battle against generalizing about gender, or they're trying to go two levels deep in irony and failing utterly, but this word belongs to the same class of gaining-superiority-through-smug-insults-and-failing that is rampant among elementary schoolers. And I won't have it.

Ladybrain - We get it, you've just discovered sarcasm. And my advice to the woman who has just discovered sarcasm is much the same as my advice to the young boy who has just discovered masturbation: stop beating it like a dead horse, you're going to break it.

From the realms of non-feminist women:

Classy - This is one of my favorites, because everything about the definition of classy is positive, and yet it makes this list because it's only ever used by women who decidedly aren't. Classy women don't brag, talk themselves up or act so insecure as to feel the need to distance themselves from "classless" women, and thus it's 100% reliable that any woman that calls herself classy probably doesn't even grasp the meaning of the word.

Drama - Whether they're complaining about it or trying to ward it off with incantations (uPpItY dOwN tYpE hAs PoWeRfUl MaGiC iN tHiS rEaLm), it's always indicative of the same love-hate relationship that addicts have with meth. It may be an abusive relationship, but it's the most important relationship in your life, and I know better than to think an addict can go long without a fix.

From the realm of douchebags:

Frat (verb or adjective) - The only acceptable use of frat is as a noun, preferably contained within the word "fratricide," preferably contained within the headline "Fratricide at local fraternity: fraternity brother guns down fellow Greeks in what the gunman later described as a 'moment of clarity.'" The world needs a word to describe non-fraternity activities as having fraternity-like qualities the way it needs a word to describe health with AIDS-like qualities.

Alpha/Beta - I get it, cause we're like a wolf pack right? And this bar is like Yellowstone? And you're going to make other guys display their stomachs as a sign of submission so you're free to mate? And social dynamics are in no way more complicated than that. Not one bit.

From the realm of the internet:

[adjective][noun] is [adjective] - Combining all the worst characteristics of the undeservedly smug, the hipster who's 5 years late, and the contributes-absolutely-zero-to-the-discussion, the (absurd over-)use of this once-meme grates on the brain in a most painful fashion.

From the realms of retail:

Dear Valued Customer - Fuck right off.

Focus: What words cause you to immediately disregard someone simply for using them?

 

This hits a few of them. But the word "epic" needs to be purged from the language. As does "glom", which has gained currency in news coverage of the presidential campaigning over the past few weeks.

 

Edit: Bewildered by a nose.

I hate the word "robust", because people use it to describe EVERYTHING. Beer, wine, roses, shoes, stews, music, ability, a baby's laugh, the roar of an engine, the color of a wood door, an orgasm, and anything else that one can possibly compliment.

I used to love that word, and now it's just a huge chasm in a sentence. Means nothing to me anymore. It's basically just a mid sentence indicator that you probably own a couple shirts from Urban Outfitters or you ALWAYS let your wine decant before drinking it. Fuck off. Robust...pssh.

 

Along the lines of irregardless, I'd like to add supposably.

 

Thank God. If it wasn't for you, I'd have had to click a link to do all that tough reading.


FOCUS: I don't really have a list of words*. Not that there aren't plenty out there, such as just about everything in the above comic strip, but I never come across people using them. Maybe it's just because I don't interact with people enough, but seriously, frenemy/ladybrain/dudebro? I honestly didn't know there were people who actually used those words in everyday life. No wonder Aetius is so spiteful.

*Drama. I already hate most of the people I hear repeatedly whining about it, but hearing it doesn't help. It is a great word in and of itself, because it's come to be a very concise way of telling everyone around you that you thrive on it, need it, but don't have a thick enough skin to keep your cool when it (quite deservedly) comes back on you. What other word can almost singlehandedly warn everyone around you how much you suck?

Oh, and "totally". Use of this word in a non-sarcastic manner should legally be carte blanche to cave their fucking head in.

 

Nah, we've done that thread before. I'm talking about words that are consciously chosen despite there never being a reason to choose them.

 

Focus. By no means do I think I'm being original with my complaint, but I can't fucking stand "literally". People use this shit way too damn much without any idea of the actual definition of the word. And by "people", I mean females. Sure, say literally all you want, but you must also say figuratively just as many times. If you literally laughed your ass off, I'll figuratively cut my balls off.

 

This is limited to the internet, but it makes me want to push big red buttons with the words NUCLEAR WARHEAD above them.

Troll.

Troll is the new epic. Overused and now completely devoid of any real meaning except it's recognized buzzword status. I said troll! That means I am meme-literate and it will make my lame-ass story about my roommate seem like a Monty Python sketch on comedy steroids. Oh! I forgot! Here it is in rage comic form, because it is so much funnier with these pictures that don't really fit the emotion of the scene, but me gusta lol!

I need to stop spending so much time on reddit.

 

The rampant overuse of the word "legend" and, by extension, "legendary". This seems to be particularly restricted to bogans and mindless rugby league fanatics. It's particularly annoying when used as a greeting reference to another person - in much the same vein as "brahhh." In reference to things, acts and events it's used in much the same way as "epic", and seems to be a partial evolution of the term "fully sick." Examples of use in bogan speak include:

- "How ya going, Legend?"
- "Last night was legendary."
- "That kebab was legend, mate."


On the topic of inflammable and flammable, I was the victim of the flipside of things growing up. When I first encountered the words when I was young, and naive, I applied usual English rules about prefixes to them. I figured that since, for example, legible and illegible and audible and inaudible were opposites, then flammable must mean likely to burn and inflammable meant that it wasn't. Took me ages to get my head around the concept that they were the same thing. Stupid idiots fucking with the English language for the sake of morons.

 

I get irrationally angry when people use the word "ironic" in casual conversation. I feel like this person is trying to sound intelligent without actually understanding the concept.

I will state right away that the use of this word at the beginning of this thread was used correctly, so it did not anger me, but when some 18-year old piece of shit discovers this word and uses it nonstop, it makes me want to punch something.

 

Lulz.

 

This is not the bitch-about-grammar thread.

 

Bro, you can't be all alpha then not be classy because there was some drama.

 

I think this is mostly a Toronto thing but, using the word reach in place of to come, to go or to take.

"Let's reach the bar and wheel some broads!" Translation: Let's go to the local drinking establishment and attempt to convince some young ladies to touch our privates.

"Yo, reach one of those beers!" - Would you like a cold beverage?

Seriously the Canadian equivalent of the douche bag fratboy is the hockey player douche. They have an entire lexicon of terms which drive me up the wall. I could probably sit here and write a page and a half of retarded slang terms I hear around me everyday. The only one I find kind of funny is the term 'slay' to mean had sex with.

"I saw Lisa last night we reached back to my house and then we slayed."
On second thought, reading that back it sounds pretty douchey too.