So excited for fantasy football. My team name is "Da Parkers of Fantasy Football" yeah, I went there. I have another team name, but I can't have it giving away my strategy.
Some cousins of mine went into my house yesterday and texted me some pictures. Oh. My. Fucking. God. It's destroyed. Washer & Dryer are gone, as is my 57" TV, surround sound system & all related electronics. Over $1000 worth of stainless steel cookware is also MIA. The absolute worst though is what they did to the place. They tore it apart. There is shit strewn everywhere, everything has been dumped out on the floor & apparently they tried to rip my medicine cabinets out...they didn't succeed, so they tore all the doors off of them. What the fuck? Commencing heavy drinking. (Oh yeah, between my cousins & I we've lost over $30K. An arrest warrant for the bitch that did this will be forth coming soon.)
Every time you post it should be followed by a banjo riff. TLC is picking the wrong people to make shows about.
Quit pretending that you are going to get law enforcement involved. We all know it's about to go full blown Winter's Bone down there.
I've already decided that I'm going back there just to put my places back together and sell them. Those folks down there are WAAAY to fucking hillbilly. And when I say that you know they're some fucked up, inbred, squeal like a pig, mother fuckers.
Apparently some study came out to show that when people sleep on their stomach they are more likely to have sexual dreams.
Oh my. I've been tasked to chaperon my niece and her little friend from the high school marching band while they sit in the kitchen and play cards. The poor boy is like a Pacific Islander or something, very over-weight, and has an Oscar Gamble 'fro. For those of you who don't know who Oscar Gamble is/was: The poor, poor boy doesn't pick up that my niece isn't the least bit interested in him in any way other then her fat, goofy friend.
I would kill to have a vintage Indians jersey like that in above pic. Well done. Just saw an ad banner here for pink wink. Yep, lesbian love on TiB
Oh shit! Now she's torturing the poor fat kid...she just handed him a Thai pepper and dared him to eat it. He did. Dumb ass. He's now in the bathroom bathing his tongue with cold water and whimpering like a little fat baby with a big 'fro. I'm so proud of my niece.
I talked to my favorite night guard and it has inspired me to get back to trapping. The pussy hunter is back on the trail.
I cannot for the life of me figure out what this means, but I'm 80% it has something to do with being a lesbian.
I'm seriously catching cats. Tonight was fun. I was harassed by 2 different cat ladies. The crazier of the two went and made gobbly gook noises with swinging arms at the cats to scare them from the trap and then kicked the trap violently, all while yelling at me. My bff guard was sitting there the whole time. Guess who got a $250 fine?! I also found out from the ex-president, who came to talk to the guard for awhile, that the president's husband is booby trapping around their unit. What the fuck?