Most of the twitters I follow are blogs and people that give useful updates about stuff going on with them with the occasional funny or interesting comment or link (ex, Tucker Max, Cake Wrecks). I think the only one that I follow for pure fluffy reasons is Brent Spiner. I'm a Star Trek fan, and I like his sense of humor. Most of his tweets are sarcastic RTs of questions or comments he's received from followers. Twice he's done some sort of days long story where he pretends that something exciting is happening to him - his butler holding him hostage or aliens abduct him to be the guest star for their sci fi convention. http://twitter.com/BrentSpiner
I rarely have anything interesting to say, but I do it for kicks: http://twitter.com/Rob4Broncos As for Tweets (Twats?) I like to follow: Ben Corman and Nils Parker. A couple names we're all familiar with. They write funny stuff about random topics. I get updates from them sent to my phone, and it's a good way to get a sure laugh at random times throughout the day. Mike Faux Dunleavy. Guy who runs a parody Mike Dunleavy page. He provides funny commentary on news in sports. Shit My Dad Says and Texts From Last Night. Most of us are familiar with these already. Former's a guy who posts quotes from his elderly father, latter's self-explanatory. But my favorite Twitter page is by far Sean Stephenson's. He's a therapist and a motivational speaker with a rare bone disorder. I first heard of him about 5 years ago when he was a guest speaker for a Dave DeAngelo seminar. He had some very powerful things to say that'll put things into perspective for just about anyone. At that point, I tried to find out everything I could from the guy. He recently put out a book, which I read in 2 days. I highly recommend it. Chances are any one of you would gain something valuable from it. Yes, it's a self-help book, but it's definitely not some New Age, feel-good-and-hug-yourself psychobabble. And I'm just as skeptical of self-help books as anyone. As an aside: he also has a TV show airing in a couple weeks, which I'm looking forward to seeing.
http://twitter.com/Karl_Lagerfeld Head designer and creative director for the Chanel, and my favorite Twitterer!
I follow a few comedians that are usually good for a laugh. http://twitter.com/badbanana http://twitter.com/jimmycarr http://twitter.com/rustyrockets http://twitter.com/jimmyfallon http://twitter.com/robcorddry http://twitter.com/hotdogsladies
Regardless of your opinion of the guy, John Mayer tends to have some pretty funny Tweets: http://twitter.com/johncmayer Rob Huebel is also pretty funny: http://twitter.com/robhuebel
http://www.twitter.com/dkreindler Mostly car stuff, if you've ever read my blog you know what to expect. http://www.twitter.com/michaelbanovsky My partner in crime with the car stuff http://www.twitter.com/thelastpsychiatrist What more needs to be said.
Quite a few of my favorites have already been mentioned, but here are some others that I really like: Funny: twitter.com/realjeffreyross - Friar's Club Roastmaster General Jeff Ross twitter.com/garyjbusey - Fake Gary Busey twitter.com/stephenathome - Stephen Colbert twitter.com/KFUCKINGP - Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down twitter.com/sarahksilverman - self-explanatory Cool: twitter.com/ajjacobs - Author of Living Biblically and The Guinea Pig Diaries twitter.com/donttrythis - Adam Savage from Mythbusters twitter.com/virginamerica - Virgin America's official feed -- good deals from time to time twitter.com/zappos - Tony Hseih (Zappos Founder) -- sometimes funny/sometimes insightful twitter.com/wiredresearch - Wired mag's research team tweeting cool stats they come across Industry-related: twitter.com/tomfishburne - Brand Camp cartoonist twitter.com/jack - Twitter co-founder twitter.com/loic - Seesmic founder twitter.com/jason - Web entrepreneur/VC twitter.com/gapingvoid - cartoonist, author of Ignore Everybody, might be my favorite person on Twitter twitter.com/guykawasaki - Web entrepreneur, tweets about marketing/web stuff/random things twitter.com/fredwilson - VC (writes A VC blog) twitter.com/kevinrose - Digg.com founder
My online mini-fuckin-journal, if you will, rather than a "status update to friends/whoever" operation. I do it because I forget majority of the shit that arises in the duration of my day- So I'll look back on random tweets once in a while. Plus, I'm too lazy to throw down paragraphs for a blog. 140 characters a few times a day keeps my Alzheimers at bay. Mine: http://twitter.com/the629 Aside from a few that have already been mentioned, I follow: pornstars, technology news, deal sites, a few friends and a handful of celebs.
http://twitter.com/BaseballGuyCAA I link to any new blog posts I make, and occasionally will post any random thoughts I have that are Tweet-worthy. The ability to Twitter from your phone is just awesome. And I'm considering using this technology for live updates to my 21st birthday night. Stay tuned. Some favorites of mine: http://twitter.com/hoodinternet: The Hood Internet, my favorite DJ duo. http://twitter.com/jonlajoiecomedy: Jon Lajoie. If you're not familiar with him, look him up on Youtube and prepare for some quality time wasting. http://twitter.com/pennjillette: Penn, of Penn & Teller. http://twitter.com/sportsguy33: Bill Simmons. Him and PhilaLawyer are the only two people I have SMS subscriptions to. Best bets to tweet something that will make you laugh in public.
Dude seriously I cannot tell you how stupid of an idea this is. Anyone who gives a shit will be at the party and everyone else could care less. Seriously do not waste one of the potentially best nights of your life by fucking around on your phone. Everyone hates the dude who spends the entire party texting his girlfriend. You will be that guy except you won't be getting sex out of it and will instead probably be costing yourself some. Don't, don't, don't. But maybe I am just showing my age.
www.twitter.com/stffrmmatesays My friend's twitter, which is hilarious because he has a perverted asian roommate [picture the asian from the hangover and you wouldn't be far off] and he writes down some of the random/funny things he says without him knowing. Quality stuff.
http://twitter.com/serafinowicz is probably one of the most consistently funny twitters out there. He's a comedian, voice of darth maul and a pretty damn good impressionist. Worth following for a daily laugh.
Mine is <a class="postlink" href="http://www.twitter.com/cnreves" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">www.twitter.com/cnreves</a> A few of my favorites to follow: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.twitter.com/DRUNKHULK" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">www.twitter.com/DRUNKHULK</a> This one is literally one of the most consistently funny things I read on the internet. It's the twitter account of The Hulk. And he's always drunk. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.twitter.com/shhdontellsteve" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">www.twitter.com/shhdontellsteve</a> It's a twitter account a college guy set up to secretly post tweets about his roommate Steve. Steve is the typical drunk/high frat guy, and his relationship issues are always hilarious to read about. Plus, the twitter account has to give nicknames to steve's friends so there's a cast of characters i.e. Burrito Girl, Slutty Tina, etc.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is one of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned already. He's usually got some interesting science related tweets. http://twitter.com/neiltyson
One of my favorites that hasn't been listed is Kelly Oxford. http://twitter.com/kellyoxford I don't know much about her, but she has a pretty consistent stream of funny. Her tumblr can be entertaining as well.
twitter.com/zefrank- Ze Frank, low-level internet celebrity and host/subject of the totally underrated the show. twitter.com/ConanOBrien- Self explanatory twitter.com/ActuallyNPH- Neil Patrick Harris; he tweets a satisfying amount of information about the futures of HIMYM and Dr. Horrible.