Top Chef: Washington, DC

Top Chef returns to Bravo tonight at 9pm EST. It's in Washington, DC. Having lived there for 3 years, I'm especially excited to watch.

Bios for this season's contestants. Some pretty talented looking people.

Also, here's a look at where some former contestants are now.

Focus: Discuss Top Chef or please pack up your knives and go.

 

I really think this is going to be the most lackluster season yet. After last season's talent overload I think they'll fall back on drama to fill some episodes.

I know its only been one episode but there was one likeable personality of 17. That fat cunt is already enragingly annoying. Angelo is a douche. Kenny is the only one that I would root for.

Sad because I loved last few seasons.

 

I totally agree with that, especially since they cut the guy who looked like he came out of a Dr. Seuss book.

I was so hoping they were going to cut the black dude who is competing in TC in honor of his dead wife.

There are maybe 4 or 5 good chefs in the mix, maybe 1 of them could have competed with last season. For the most part there's a lot of mediocrity this season, although it's early yet. My early picks are Ed, Lynne, Angelo, Alex, Amanda and Tamesha.

THANK FUCKING GOD THEY GOT RID OF TOBY YOUNG. Annoying as fuck with a habit of saying some long winded diatribe that he wrote out before he even ate any of the food, I fucking hated that guy. He made Billy Joel's ex-wife look competent by comparison.

 

I just started watching this show last season and really like it. I'm glad it's back on. I also enjoyed the Masters version and I actually knew who a bunch of them were. Insane skills.

I watched a season or two of Hell's Kitchen along with the Next Food Network Star and Next Iron Chef. Top Chef is just so much better on so many levels. Even the worst of the casts on this show seem to be on a much higher level than on the other shows. Next Iron Chef has had some decent people on it, but this show is still the very best of cooking competitions on tv.

Kenny is sticking out as my favorite so far. The one fat chick needs to go. I kind of wish weird Dr. Seuss character guy stayed for a bit longer. I wanted to see more of what he'd cook.

 

All I have to say is GODDAMN look at Padma's titties. Amen to childbirth for her. If this is what its going to do, fuck, have 3 more Padma. I thought you were fuckable before. Oh my do my hormones have an opinion about you now.

 

I was kind of nonplussed by a lot of the cooking in this first episode. Kenny seems to have some chops. So does Angelo, but dear God do I hate his personality. He's just so damn smug. I still think Kelly can go far. They highlighted her when she said something akin to "I spend all day cooking regional Colorado cuisine" (using regional food isn't exactly unique by the way) and then never really went back to her.

I hated John only for the reason that he just made me feel uncomfortable. He just always seemed to be smiling awkwardly. I was kind of interested in just what he could do having gone the traditional university route and getting an engineering degree before going into cooking. He was also the second oldest contestant this season at age 42. Lynne, the CIA instructor, is 51.

No one else really stood out for me. Shame. And yes, I am so thankful Toby Young is gone.

 

John looked like the hippy brother of Waldo from "Where's Waldo" fame, but only if his hippy brother was also a child molester.

 

Jacqueline is horrible. She blew it on what is basically an easy desert to make. You don't add sugar to cut down on the starch, that's cooking 101.

She should stick to wine, she's embarrassing herself as a chef.

Also:

If I were Angelo's partner during the Quickfire, you had better bet that I'd cut an artery of his if given the chance. At the very least I'd cut off part of one of his finger. Fuck it, it's a competition and he's a douchebag anyhow.

Other thoughts:

They're turning up the tension early, and this season seems very manufactured.

There's nowhere near as much talent this season as last. In fact, this season is Bizarro. Angelo, who I know through reputation in NYC, is a somewhat decent chef, but he'd get destroyed by the likes of Eli (5th place last season) if they went against each other. The fact that Angelo has dominated so much this early says less about his competition then it does about his skill level.

Wow, Tracy Bloom is a lesbian. Who saw that coming? Wow, she eats a lot of fast food? Who saw that coming?

Kelly is annoying as fuck.

I was totally wrong about Amanda, she's pretty green in the kitchen. She's going home early unless she becomes this seasons "Robin" and lasts until late to add drama. Like I said, this season's "tension" seems very manufactured, and there has been a long history of the producers of TC leaving a weak (albeit telegenic) chef around until late because it helps connect the story.

Andrea can flat out cook and is a leader in the kitchen. She seems very consistent.

Same goes for Tiffany and Kevin.

 

I'm re-watching the episode. I love how Amanda is adamant about how gnocchi won't look good/appealing when her chicken wound up looking like butthole on a plate. I'd be so embarrassed if Tom described my dish as a "turd." I really hope she's the next to go. The sherry was also idiotic as well. There are plenty of ways to braise chicken that won't cost nearly as much. Maybe then you could have afforded vegetables and served more than just rice as a side. And I know the alcohol burns off and you're just left with the flavor, but it still doesn't seem like something you want to be serving children. Not everyone's parents may understand and it's just a hazard best avoided. I also thought she would do better by glancing at her resume. Now I wonder when it says she worked at several Michelin restaurants, just how much responsibility she actually had at them.

Arnold is annoying. Kelly planned the focal piece of that dish, let her take credit for that piece. I think it was a testament to her idea when there was a slight disagreement over including onions, but after the challenge a girl asked Padma if it was radish. Her face when told she actually ate pickled onion was complete surprise.

Jacqueline's dessert was a complete failure at really simple cooking and totally antithetical to the spirit of the challenge.

The sweet potato dessert was pretty smart. As was using apple cider to glaze the chicken.

I have to agree that the caliber of chefs this season is pretty low. Part of that is that last season had some really talented people. That's a tough act to follow, but even when you compare this season to all the others, it's pretty weak. I think this season may have less awful chefs than other seasons though and more of a concentration in the middle.

Edit: In other TC news, Stephanie, season 4's winner has a restaurant in Chicago named Girl and the Goat that is supposed to be opening soon.

 

I agree the talent seems very low. I also think that this may be a season where the "top" people go home early, leaving the middle to the end and resulting in a very mediocre winner. We almost saw one of the top guys go home already.

Also, Padma's rack. I really enjoyed how she decided she needed to cover it up to go to the school. So she got a sweater that covered her shoulders and tied with a thin ribbon over her breasts. Yeah... that will hide them from teenage boys.

 

Sorry guys but after watching the second episode I have to say: I love how Angelo fucked Kenny. Don't see someone so openly go for the throat in a competition show.

And when he said "I don't like Kenny" all I heard was "I don't like blacks".

Absolutely my favorite on the show now.

 

I loved the teaser for next week's episode, specifically Angelo's "Are you an idiot" stare at Amanda at the very end of it. Yeah, I hate Angelo and think he's a d-bag, but he's also going to provide the most entertainment this season.

 

Tiffany is so horrifically obnoxious. It may be editing but she is the stereotypical loud and over the top black woman in every interview or cut away, it grated on my nerves.

Arnold needs to go home ASAP. He is a queen who just wants media attention.

I think Kenny is twice the chef Angelo is and its going to come out.

And I agree with this season seeming manufactured. There is too much venom and in-fighting for 2 episodes in.

 

I always enjoy the dessert quickfire each season. Alex's "pie" looked god-awful, and what is Tracey thinking that she doesn't have to measure stuff?

Maybe it was just me, but I was rather nonplussed by the dishes at the elimination challenge. The side dishes looked especially blase. Tracey was obviously the weakest one today. If Jonathon Waxman compared my cooking to that of a 10 year old, I would run to a corner and cry.

I'm getting tired of Stephen talking about how he nails every dish only to see him fall on his face. Much as I love stuff wrapped in bacon, bacon and bass doesn't seem to do it for me. Even after talking to the judges he didn't get why he was at the bottom. He was under the impression it wasn't picnic-y enough when really it just wasn't cooked well. I see him or Timothy getting eliminated next week.

 

So the only chef that's ever made it on TC from Detroit looks like he's fucking homeless, and is the first one to go home? SHIT.

One thing's for sure, I'll never be going to that guy's restaurant. I looked up the menu online and it's an $80 a plate kinda joint, which is ridiculous for even the richest city in this state.

Also, I don't mind Kelly. She had a point about claiming her part of the meal. Arnold was being a faggot (hah). She was on Iron Chef and held her own, and I think she's kinda hot.

 

Tracy might have been the most annoying chef ever on TC. For that reason alone I thought she'd be on the show as one of the last 5-6 chefs remaining. On top of her being annoying and in-your-face obnoxious, she was a horrible cook. I love how she said "I had a bad day" as if she ever had a good day.

Casting this season is fucking awful, which is why the show switched gears from being a show about culinary excellence to being a Survivoresque escapade into cooking.

I went to Angelo Sosa's restaurant Xie Xie this weekend. It's basically an Asian themed sandwich shop that has 5 items on the menu, I sampled 3 of them. My review: fucking excellent. Say what you want about him personally, but the dude can assemble a good sandwich.

That being said, fuck him, he's still a douchebag.

Stephen is in over his head. I saw where he was going with his main dish and knew it was destined to fail. Bacon wrapped fish is great, but not on a grill. While on that thought, I was surprised on how many chefs had excuses on how they failed at grilling or couldn't come up with a basic fucking pie crust. You can make a basic pie crust out of flour, iced water, chilled butter and salt. The ratios aren't even that difficult to remember. I'd say at least 1/3rd of the chefs looked completely clueless.

I'll say it again, Eli (5th place from last season) would blow any of these chefs out of the water. Whomever cast this season should be replaced. The skill level here isn't "Top Chef", it's "Mediocre Chef" quality.

In hindsight, I would have made a chocolate/chili pie with a lime glaze. It's basically about the same pie that Kelly made, only with a hint of chili powder in the chocolate.

 

Combined with the fact that they are over editing the shit out the show. Watch the previews for what's coming after the break and they will splice together a brutal comment from one of the judges with a stunned look by one of the few decent chefs that in reality was made to one of the shitty cooks. That false drama bullshit pisses me off enough to change the fucking channel. I was also really suprised that Angelo has a daughter, I would have bet a paycheck that he was light in his non-slip loafers.

Also, I'll agree that Padma looks good, but I can't fucking stand that bitch. I don't fucking care that she published a cook book. She is eye candy, period. She needs to shut the fuck up and let the grown-ups talk. When they ask her opinion on a dish she should just play with her nipples until they go on to the next judge. The funny part is I would rather play doctor with Gail any day of the week.

 

As much as Steven sucks in this competition he was likable. However, the dude sucked ass at Top Chef. Not that it says anything about him as a chef, but seriously, he was one of the worst contestants of all time. He never made it into the top 3 once in anything and was continually on the bottom. Plus, he just made too many easy mistakes. Not sure if he wasn't focused or whatever, but wow.

Angelo vs. Kenny in the finals, they've tipped their hat at their "rivalry" too many times at this point to think otherwise. Kenny is good, but seems to complicate things more then they need to be. Angelo isn't nearly as versatile as Kenny. He's basically Marcel from Season 2: Annoying as fuck and unable to really cook outside his comfort zone.

Ed is fairly solid, albeit bland as hell. He seems like a standup guy but his food is boring. He still will probably be in the finals.

Kelly is probably going to sneak into the finals. She's solid, takes a lot of chances that tend to work out and doesn't get overly phased by the competition.

This season officially sucks.

 

Agreed with all of the above. The chick with the herpes on her mouth needs to go along with the pea stealer. I'd be happy right there. I was really happy for the winner tonight. She's just likeable.