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Tom Collins? What a cumguzzler.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by rei, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    The only sort of cocktail I'll judge anyone for ordering is a blended drink, and only in a crowded bar. All that other shit about drink color and ingredients is ridiculous, but someone who bellies up to the counter when it's standing room only and asks a clearly overwhelmed bartender for a daquiri is a fucking douchebag.

    "WAHHHHH, THIS IS A BUSINESS, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO ORDER WHATEVER I WANT."

    Yes, you filthy bum penis, you can order it. But every single person around you looking to get their beer/shot/two-ingredient cocktail has the right to wipe their boogers on your eyeball. It's a common courtesy to keep the order simple in a crowded room, and ordering the most labor-intensive thing on the menu says something about how you view yourself in relation to the rest of the world.
     
  2. Rob4Broncos

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    Every time I see a post of yours like this, all that goes through my head is that quote from Pops in the King of the Hill episode with the paintball match against the garage band up the street: "Don't try to figure 'em out. They can't be figured. Just shake your fist at 'em like this!" Better yet, that ENTIRE episode should be "In The Life of Nettdata."

    Just sayin'.

    On the topics of trying new drinks and the lack thereof (and this isn't directed at anyone in particular), I find that people who are closed-minded when it comes to choice of alcohol (or, for that matter, choice of food, clothing, movies, etc) tend to prefer shitty drinks. Sometimes, they actually like something decent and simple, and more power to them. If you prefer a Jake and Coke, that's perfectly fine, but have you sampled around enough to know that you won't like something better? How do you know it's truly your favorite if you don't try other drinks from time to time? Like ND said, worst-case scenario is a few dollars out the drain, but the potential gains far outweigh the costs. Life's too short and rich to go though it thinking that Bud Light is as good as it gets.

    Hell, find a local wine shop and see if they have regular wine tastings. I live, literally, half a mile down the road from one, and I only found out about it recently through my roommate. They're a great way to expand your tastes and not become a fucking snob about it, at least as far as wine is concerned. They also carry plenty of beer (good beer, not PBR) and can give good recommendations for that as well. If the tiny wine shop in my village of 85k has weekly tastings, I'm sure most people here can find one in their local area, as well. At least all you people near major cities like NYC and Chicago and whatever big cities Canadia has.

    Plus, as I've noted here before, it's a fucking excellent way to meet nubile college girls. Smart ones! Combine that with free alcohol, and not even Durbanite could fuck that up. You're all welcome in advance.

    As an aside, I'll most certainly be trying my hand at this "Galliano" and "Sissy Jock" you two speak of, because it sounds like candy and bad decisions had a crack-baby, then pumped it full of hormones. I also want to learn how to make the Crown Apple Sour they serve at Buffalo Wild Wings. I used to get it all the time while watching football (remember when they used to play that?), because it was their Sunday mixed drink special. I'd imagine it's similar to this, but I'll have to modify it, I'm sure.
     
  3. thabucmaster

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    One of the bars that I frequent when I go out has a new concoction every month. Two summers ago, they made something called Ninja Turtle Lemonade. I was skeptical at first, until my first sip.

    Slice of cucumber and lime, muddled in a pint glass
    Bombay Sapphire gin
    Squirt of simple syrup
    Fill almost to the top with lemonade
    Splash of 7-Up

    It is the perfect summertime drink.
     
  4. Rob4Broncos

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    Is that really the case, though? Consider this: why does nobody have this same mindset in line at the grocery store? Would you get mad at a mom shopping with her kids and toting two full carts on a payday when it's crowded to hell? I know my mom sure did that shit; I was her fucking pack mule. But I digress. A person with a month's worth of groceries in a busy Food Lion wouldn't be frowned upon for "holding up business" in the same way that someone ordering a laborious drink at a bar would be. Obviously, the two situations aren't the same, and the former is a need while the latter is a luxury, but otherwise it's the same scenario.

    The burden still falls on the establishment to either a) field a larger staff on Friday and Saturday nights to prevent them from being so overworked in the first place, or b) increase the price of said order during those nights, to the point that it wouldn't inconvenience the many other patrons, because of its reduced quantity of orders. It's fundamental economics, and it's up to the establishment either way. When I went to Walmart last week to ordered my HDTV, the cashier had to type in 3 separate serial numbers, in addition to scanning it. Had the person in line behind me "wiped their boogers" on me, I would have smashed them in the fucking teeth with my new Vizio and told them to get bent.

    What I'm saying is: I feel like your displeasure should be directed more at the establishment for not being able to provide its sole service, than at the patron for ordering the right thing at the wrong time. Again, to quote what ND said, "drinking is about enjoying yourself, and drinking what you like, not about drinking the cheapest beer on tap/special." Living in a college town that's notorious for drinking, I highly doubt that our bars can't afford the extra help. An increase in demand must produce either an increase in price, or an increase in supply. End of story.
     
  5. Lasersailor

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    I had a preconception about the drink "Old Fashioned" but for very good reason. Around my house a popular drink was equal parts Orange Juice, Ginger Ale, Bourbon and a Dash of Bitters. And they called it an "Old Fashioned" cocktail. (And it is good.)


    Very much to my surprise after just turning 21 and ordering an "Old Fashioned" I discovered what my family was drinking was not an old fashioned cocktail. And had the bartender not spent seemingly a lot of effort into making an Old Fashioned, I would have voiced my surprise that what was handed to me looked nothing like the fluorescent drink I was used to.
     
  6. BL1Y

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    The only un-manly drink you can have is the same one that was sitting in front of you an hour ago.
     
  7. Binary

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    I don't really care what people order at the bar.

    Frankly, I don't really drink much that I would get judged for but the choice isn't because I'm concerned that people will think badly of me, it's just that I don't like sweet alcoholic drinks - so that cuts about 90% of "girly" drinks. I'll occasionally do two-part cocktails of juice + a liquor, but I usually stick to whiskey and beer.

    About the only thing I actually laugh at is when people order glasses of wine at a crappy bar/club. Really? You're going to pay $7 for a glass of wine out of a $5 bottle that's been sitting there for six months?
     
  8. BL1Y

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    Haha, yes. I don't care what other people drink, but I think people who order wine at bars do it to be judged. Unfortunately for them, they miscalculated what that judgment would be.

    Of course, the exception is if you're at a wine bar.
     
  9. Frank

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    Fuck you, just because you're too poor to drink good beer doesn't mean I should have to be subjected to your Miller Lite swill piss. I like to drink beer with FLAVOR. If there's a drinking game involved then yeah, I'll slum it (Bud or Coors though, never Miller) but other than that I only drink beers I would enjoy even if there were no alcohol in them.

    As for judgement, if you're a dude drinking wine at a bar you have to stir it with a tampon, other than that, do whatever you want. Lord knows I've been guilty of drinking girly stuff in the past, so I won't judge someone unless I see them getting cosmos every time they're out.

    As for my normal drinks of choice, I'm a scotch and micro or home brew man. I'll also do jack and ginger if I'm looking to get fucked up.
     
  10. Psk

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    This I agree with. Sure, I've had one or two to quench the thirst. However, if a place sells shitty beer, I'm not going to drink there.

    This, not at all. You've just said that you enjoy the taste of a beer just as much (if not more) as the alcohol, yet suddenly, you are judging someone for drinking something they enjoy. If someone likes Cosmos, then how the hell does that make them feminine or gay? Because I assume that's the way you judge them. Last time I checked, liking a certain drink did not mean that you liked cock. Taking one up the ass did, and I know several gay men (and women!) who like beer.


    Edited for grammar.
     
  11. Frank

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    I think you're on the wrong message board.
     
  12. Binary

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    It's been well documented that there's a direct correlation between enjoying drinking Cosmos and enjoying having your butthole plumbed by large hairy men.
     
  13. Mantis Toboggan M.D.

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    Tell it to this guy:

    [​IMG]

    Beer at a lot of bars is just as overpriced, and if it's a crowded place with a long wait to get a drink you're better off getting a mixed drink (or 2, and double fisting them). $6 for a Jack and Coke is a ripoff assuming a single shot, but $4.50 for a Bud is just as bad if not worse. Plus if you leave a good tip on your first order there's a good chance you'll get extra booze next time around.
     
  14. Blue Dog

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    I'll back up Nett on this one:

    One Saturday a couple of years ago, I was at the hunting camp with my dad and two brothers, and we took a ride to town to do... Whatever. I think it was my older brother who suggested that we need to stop and get drinks, and the drink that we all need was a Harvey Wallbanger.

    We stopped at the first bar- no Galliano. The second- same thing. It became a mission at that point- we rode around drinking beer for a good 3 or 4 hours, telling stories and looking for a place that had Galliano. And we weren't going to give up and just go buy some from a package liquor store- that would be defeating the point. It was also one of the last times I can remember when all 4 of us (as adults) had spent that much time with each other, away from wives and kids and such, so we were all really enjoying ourselves in our mission.

    We ended up having to drive all the way back to the city we live, to our favorite local bar, and had the best Harvey Wallbangers I had ever tasted. Seriously- give 'em a try.

    Focus:

    I actually used to be one of those people who thought you HAD to drink certain things, but I've gotten to the point where I don't care what people think- I just drink what I'm in the mood for. If I'm down the river feeling tropical- I'll drink a fruity rum drink or some homemade watermelon margaritas all day. If I want beer, I'm not above drinking a fruity strawberry lager or Blue Moon with an orange slice. I have my good beer moods, and I have my Coors Light moods. I have my red wine moods, I have my bourbon moods. I try to make them fit with what activity I'm doing (as in, no glass bottles when I'm going to be in a boat all day), but other than that, I don't care. Just taste good and get me drunky drunk.
     
  15. BL1Y

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    Alabama state representative Alvin Holmes discussing a bill to allow high gravity beer sales:

     
    #35 BL1Y, Apr 8, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. lostalldoubt86

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    Men who drink Pina Coladas I automatically place into the vapid whore category no matter what redeeming features they might possess.

    On a completely different note, I don't drink beer because the hangover is always 10 times worse than when I drink liquor.
     
  17. BL1Y

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    If it's a hot summer day and you're drinking outside, I don't see the problem with enjoying a pina colada. Plus, being a vapid whore just means you can more easily relate to the vapid whores you're trying to bang.
     
  18. Juice

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    If you go out to a bar and order a glass of wine (and you're not having dinner) you're a douchbag.

    End of story.
     
  19. Frebis

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    I'm embarrassed that people think Guinness, Stella, and Heineken are good beers. If someone orders one of these I will assume they are very poor, and trying to pretend they are high society.
     
  20. Frank

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    Sadly, they're often the best beers available at many places.