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Tom Collins? What a cumguzzler.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by rei, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. rei

    rei
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    No stories here, but most of us have probably done this, seen a drink and judged someone based on what they drink.

    So that's the simple focus:
    What preconceptions do you have based on drink orders?
    Is the guy who orders the cosmo just trying to bang some Sex in the City fans, or is he gay?
    Is a Tom Collins drinker not man enough for the taste of gin, or is he a career alcoholic?


    I find most Jack Daniels drinkers here are trying really hard to look tough and cover up the fact they turned 19 three weeks ago.



    FOCUS: What preconceptions do you have based on drink orders?
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    So as I have mentioned before (and yes, I know none of you gave a shit), I am not a big drinker. I was at a bar many years ago where it was wall-to-wall people, all you could smell was other people's breaths, the music was way too loud, and the drinks were way too expensive. I was with my girlfriend at the time, her friend, and her friend's boyfriend. I was not enjoying myself particularly.

    Anyway all four of us elbowed our way up to the bar and my girlfriend asked what I wanted. I froze - I could not think of a single drink for whatever reason and I had not yet figured out that the right answer to that question in that situation is "rum and Coke" for me. So I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head, which happened to be "Cosmopolitan?"

    I don't really dislike Cosmopolitans, but I do dislike the amount of shit I get for drinking one. The friend's boyfriend can't hear what I ordered but thinks this is fucking hilarious when he sees what I'm drinking. I already don't like this guy very much and think he's kind of toolish. He's all "HOLY SHIT THAT'S LIKE A COUNTRY SONG...'MY GIRL HAD A BEER AND I HAD A COSMOPOLITAN!' WOO-HOO! ARE YOU MORE CARRIE OR MORE SAMANTHA? YOU'RE MORE OF A CHARLOTTE, AREN'T YOU?"

    I resolved that this would be the last time I ever had a Cosmopolitan in public.

    And, as an epilogue, the friend's boyfriend eventually tried to rape some other friend of hers. So I think the final tally on that is: Cosmo-Drinking Intellectual: 1; Beer-drinking Rapist: 0.
     
  3. Nettdata

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    Dude. You know their names. And drink cosmos.


    Just saying.
     
  4. PewPewPow

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    Girls that refuse to drink beer because, "it tastes icky", are automatically placed into the vapid whore category no matter what redeeming features they might possess.

    I myself have just recently been introduced to Pina Coladas, I'm waiting for the inevitable gay jokes.
     
  5. DrFrylock

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    Do you like getting caught in the rain?

    Health food?

    Champagne?
     
  6. iczorro

    iczorro
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    Most of the guys I know that only fight when they drink, only fight when they drink Jack. Scientists can give me all the bullshit they want about how the alcohol content is the important thing, and not how it's distilled. Experience is proof. Jack makes normally peaceful people fight just like Jose makes normally even keeled people rocket vomit.

    It's just truth.

    Vodka makes me lose me balance and forget things. I have multiple examples over the years to prove it, and similar things do not happen when I drink other liquors.
     
  7. Volo

    Volo
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    Anything can make someone rocket vomit when it tastes like somebody already drank it. Fuck Jose. That shit tastes like the inside of an asshole.
     
  8. Rob4Broncos

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    If you refuse to drink anything other than Stella Artois, Heineken, or Guinness because "my palate is too refined to drink inferior beers," I get to punch you in the fucking face. I wish I was kidding when I say I know people who not only think that, but talk in that manner as well. Shut the fuck up and have some Miller Lite; it won't kill you.

    To quote our resident sage on the matter:

    With that being said, I fucking LOVE Smirnoff Ice Green Apple Bite. You can make fun of me for drinking a traditionally girly drink, but I get to make fun of you for missing out on what is, essentially, candy in liquid form. Would you make fun of a grown man for enjoying Skittles or Jelly Bellies? Of course not. As I'm fond of telling people: the mild alcohol content is merely an added bonus, as far as I'm concerned. I drink it for the taste, period.

    Not me. Jose just makes me fuck my platonic female friends. High five?
     
  9. PewPewPow

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    [youtube]http://youtu.be/SZuVHQcZlNA [/youtube]


    I usually drink Jack or beer,whiskey is a great motivator to dance.
     
  10. Nettdata

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    Harvey Wallbanger.

    What does that say about me? It says that I was bartending for my dad's friends when I was very young, and sampled the goods more often than not.
     
  11. iczorro

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    Can we add an "either describe the drink you're talking about, or link a recipe, when it's not obvious" clause?

    What the fuck is a Harvey Wallbanger? I'm too lazy to google, and so is 95% of the innernuts...

    Shit, just looked it up. Don't Church it up, son, it's a fuckin screwdriver with a cherry.
     
  12. Nettdata

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    Don't back talk your elders, son... the KEY ingredient that makes it a Wallbanger is Galliano.

    Freshly squeezed OJ, vodka, and Galliano, and you have the nectar of the gods. Try it.

    And I've never seen a cherry in one. Maybe that's how they do it in the gay bars you frequent...
     
  13. iczorro

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    Who in the living shit has ever ordered a drink with "Galliano" and not been 50 years old?

    What the fuck is that, old man?

    We're detracting from the point now, tell us drinks. Grandpa will see if he knows what's in them...

    Also still pretty comfortable with the "Describe it if it's not common knowledge" clause I proposed, Grandpa.
     
  14. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    I generally can't understand why someone would order a mixed drink of any kind at most bars. They are always insanely overpriced. I guess if you're loaded it makes sense or if you're just having a craving or whatever. If I'm at a bar, it's to drink beer or something straight. Mixed drinks are for home consumption in my opinion. Just to be clear, I don't look down on it or anything...I just don't understand why someone would spend all that money. Even more insane are people who get mixed drinks at clubs. Then again, you could leave out the part about drinks and that last sentence would still be valid.
     
  15. Nettdata

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    Me, for one.

    I also hear you're pretty comfortable with a dick up your ass, but that don't mean I want you to describe it.


    There are some awesome drinks out there that are going by the wayside, and Harvey Wallbangers are one of them. They are seriously tasty, and they fight scurvy. Win win.

    Not many bars carry Galliano any more, but if I'm going out for dinner and am in the mood for a Wallbanger or 6, I'll bring a flask full of Galliano just in case.

    And I've probably been drinking longer than you've been alive... I find it interesting that you wouldn't take advantage of that experience to try something new other than a Jack and Coke or Jagger Bomb or whatever the drink-de-jour is these days. Or maybe Shirley Temples are more your speed. To each their own.

    Live a little, take a chance. Worst case it's $6 down the drain... best case, you've found your new drink.

    Yeah, because beer in a bar isn't overpriced at all.

    Well, I don't drink much beer, as I generally don't like the taste. If I'm out for dinner, it's usually wine, or gin and tonic, or Wallbangers. If I'm in a club or out to DRINK, then it's double Crown and gingers short. Or just double Crown on the rocks with a Corona chaser.

    At some point you'll (maybe) transition into that stage in life when drinking is about enjoying yourself, and drinking what you like, not about drinking the cheapest beer on tap/special or drinking to get loaded as you dig quarters out of your pocket. You'll see.
     
  16. iczorro

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    I'm 30, I was in the Navy, I've had drinking experiences a plenty (not including the aforementioned dick up the ass, though nett may or may not be curious).

    I have seriously never heard of Galliano, and I've drank to the drinking point in probably 30 different countries. Can I assume it's a cherry liquer or something like that, from the earlier description?

    I've already found my drink of choice, years ago. Diet Coke and Ketel One. People can make fun as much as they want, I'm honestly curious about what you're saying.


    Oh, and by the way, all you need to fight scurvy is citric acid, which you get in a straight up screwdriver, like I mentioned before.
     
  17. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Only fucking with ya mang...

    FYI

    [​IMG]

    Again, it's tasty.
     
  18. iczorro

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    Holy balls. Licorice, mint, gin, vanilla, cinnamon... I think my mouth would explode. I need to try this.
     
  19. Nettdata

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    Again, it's all complex, but subtle. Very subtle. Add it to vodka and OJ and it's like a party in SuperChumps mouth, and everyone's invited.
     
  20. iczorro

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    Well, to be fair, everyone's always invited into SuperChump's mouth.

    My friends and I invented a drink, I believe I mentioned it somewhere.

    Pint Glass:

    1 shot Southern Comfort
    1 shot Peach Schnapps
    1/2 a shot Vodka
    half the rest of the glass seltzer water
    the other half of the glass Red Bull
    touch of grenadine

    Tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher, kicks you in the ass when you try to stand up.

    We named it the "Sissy Jock".

    Kinda fruity, but strong as fuck.