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To Hug or Not To Hug...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jun 9, 2012.

  1. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    I was up in VT this weekend at my buddy's house and he invited over one of his friends who he used to work with up there. She and I talked for maybe 10 combined minutes throughout that night.

    The next morning I had to get up and hit the road early. When I went downstairs, she was the only one who was up, so I made it a point to say bye and that it was nice meeting her. As I was finishing up saying goodbye, I could tell that she was going to lean in for a hug, but didn't know when, or if I wanted her to, so she just kind of kept subtly juking in my direction. Finally, I split the awkward air and put out my arm and gave her a hug.

    It was weird, but whatever--she just wanted a hug, I guess. I'm not so obsessive about my personal space that I couldn't oblige (though I would've been fine with a hand shake, or no contact at all).
     
  2. shimmered

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    Generally, if situationally appropriate, I will oblige, just because it's a difficult thing to get out of once they've initiated...



    I just wish they wouldn't initiate.
     
  3. McSmallstuff

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    I hug "my people." Friends, romantic interests, and family get varying levels of hugs/cheek kisses/affectionate beatings. Outside of people that I know, why in the hell would someone touch me? I'm large, black, and my default facial expression is homicidal. I see no point in being unattractive and threatening if it does not at least protect my personal space, and make old white ladies cross the street just to avoid me*.

    *The crossing the street thing happens all the time, but I am trying to see it as funny rather than offensive.
     
  4. silway

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    I'm a physically affectionate sort. I hug men and women (not strangers or mere acquaintances). I try not to hug people that would be made uncomfortable by it but it's more likely that you'll get a brief hug than not if you and I are friendly.

    Cuddling is something I do and am into. Though it's more of a with women sort of thing than hugging.
     
  5. Dude

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    People I'm friendly with get dapped up (because I'm young and hip, not like all you old farts). Girls get hugs unless I've just met them. Handshakes are for meeting people formally or for people who are older, unless they are female and I've known them for a while.

    Good friends get hugs if I haven't seen them for a while.
     
  6. Parker

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    1. I love cuddling. It is the best thing in the world. Its comfortable to me and cuddling helps me fall asleep better. Cuddling is also a very smooth transition to sex. I only cuddle with girls I'm dating.

    2. Guys get the one armed hugs unless its a full on hug for comical reasons. When it comes to girls its an easy situation read. If I've talked to them for 5 minutes then its a handshake or a head nod with a smile. If we just met but went out to a bar or a party, they're getting a hug after. Especially if they're cute. I wear damn nice cologne, I am never scurred of getting close.
     
  7. villagebicycle

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    Wow, a lot of y'all have some issues on touching. I guess I don't meet enough creepy strangers, but I'm all for hugs. Close female friends give and/or get the cheek peck, but I've drunkenly made out/hooked up with most of them years ago so it's not a big deal.

    My bros get bro grabs, or a quick one arm hug/back slap combo.
     
  8. shimmered

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    Get raped and / or molested a couple of times and you develop a real quick aversion to having random people grab/hug/touch you without your consent.
     
  9. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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  10. shimmered

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    Nah.
    I'm not a germaphobe, I just have reasons for my feelings.


    It's not that I think everyone is out to get me or anything, I just very much value my personal space.
     
  11. Parker

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    For all of you people that hate the kisses on the cheek, you must not live in any urban areas or around any of the romantic minorities (French, Spanish [and rest of the Latins], Italian,) because they do that shit all the time upon intital greeting. Then again, 80% of this board seems to be white people in rural areas. "Y'all not frum aroun' deez pahts, izzu?"
     
  12. MoreCowbell

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    I have spent the overwhelming majority of the past 5 years in New York, DC, and London and while it wouldn't strike me as THAT bizarre if an acquantance did it, I can't recall anyone besides family members ever doing the cheek-kiss.

    Maybe honkies just ain't friendly folk.
     
  13. lhprop1

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    We're friendly 'nuff. We just don't want dem damn queers kissin' us.
     
  14. Roxanne

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    For my close friends, girls and guys both get good solid hugs, but I really don't find hugging to be necessary for people I don't know very well.

    As a Persian person, the standard introduction is holding someone's hand and kissing them twice on the cheek.

    I haaaate it. No touchies if I don't know you. Although I realized that at my job I touch people a thousands times a day because I am too small to be noticed when trying to weave through a crowd, so I am constantly touching people on the arm or back to get them to move, which has led me to realize I am a fucking monster.
     
  15. Aetius

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    A poker buddy of mine has a habit of consoling people with the ol' "shoulder rub" thing (which is ironic because he's the most homophobic kid I know). I hate it, especially after losing a hand where I'm not in a great mood anyway. It reached the point where after several "polite" requests for him not to do it, he did it again in the middle of a casino and I turned around and said "You touch me again and I'm going to elbow you in the sternum." The whole table went quiet and the dealer did the whole "if I pretend nothing happened, maybe it'll smooth over" thing.