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To Hug or Not To Hug...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jun 9, 2012.

  1. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    The Creepy hug is my favourite. Y'know, the one where you make the weird circular motion on their back with your hand while holding them close with the other arm. In your mind, Kenny G is playing and cupids are farting out condoms.

    I try not to initiate hugs, since some people have touchier comfort zones than others. Usually we just crash into each other really hard with cookie sheets strapeped to our torsos, or do the emu mating dance. Lambada will also suffice in a pinch.

    I hug people I know: friends, family are gimmies. Any other time you let the other person's language lead.
     
  2. RCGT

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    Anytime people try to high five me, I pull my hand away while opening and closing my fingers and shout "JELLYFISH!"

    Try it sometime. It's a lot of fun and people think you're nuts
     
  3. numeric

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    I hug my friends, and close friends I haven't seen in a while get picked up and shaken like colicky babies.
     
  4. trojanstf

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    I just recently saw a bunch of my friends who I hadn't seen in years so it was hugs all around for that. But I won't see them again for at least a year and there were no hugs on the way out.
    I'm big on cuddling, when its a girl I'm dating. One of the major reaasons is that when I'm lying in bed with a girl (pre, post sex or when its not even on the table) if we aren't touching I feel like one of those couples who has been married for thirty years and has lost all passion.
     
  5. Cult

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    I always hug my family (both immediate and not) when I see them when I come home and some other circumstances, we don't hug it out every day but it happens pretty frequently. Me and my high school friends hug or bro-hug if we haven't seen each other for a while or someone is going away (we're almost all in the military and different branches at that so when we see one another it's pretty rare) the same goes and we beat the shit out of each other in a friendly manner pretty routinely. We always shake hands when we see each other after that initial hello bro-hug and hand shakes are pretty much how I greet any of my other male friends outside of that group. With women its different, I don't initiate unless she's a close friend, but I'll return the hug if given, but I don't shake female friends' hands at all. First time meeting someone is always a handshake. Don't try and get intimate with me if I don't know you.

    I've been confused about hand shaking etiquette with women. Am I supposed to limp wrist it too? Is that why every time I shake a woman's hand it feels like I'm holding a dead fish? Am I that creepy that women are trying to make the situation of meeting them awkward?
     
  6. Durbanite

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    I am obviously not a hugger. I barely shake hands. I'm more of a polite nodder. Like Bewildered, I come from a non touchy-feely family. I can remember being hugged as a kid and almost always feeling uncomfortable about it. I'm not even comfortable hugging my parents. Then again, I simply dislike being touched, which would also explain my hatred of dancing. That, and having two left feet and poor balance...

    Tl,dr: Don't touch me, unless I initiate it.
     
  7. Allord

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    Hugging is awesome. It does wonders to hide the subtle involuntary pelvic thrusts I do around pretty women and whilst thinking about pretty women. Plus it's an excuse to touch someone's chest. And also there might be pens in the front pocket involved which means technically it counts as writing time, and therefore billable work time. I can't see a downside, honestly.

    Also cuddling is just rubbing up against a girl with your floppy drive until it becomes a hard disk.
     
  8. Pussy Galore

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    All of this talk of not initiating hugs and following someone else's lead... What if they're following your lead, too? Since no one is taking any initiative, you'll both just sit there, eyeing each other awkwardly until someone offers up a limp-wristed fingertip shake or (if you're drunk enough) tries to kiss the other person.

    Focus: I love hugs. I hug everyone: family, friends, former teachers, past and present bosses, bartenders, the old guy that's worked at AutoZone for years and always gives me a courtesy discount because he remembers me from the month I worked in the same location back in 2007. They give me warm fuzzies. Hugs can be intimate (if they're crushingly close and prolonged), but they can also just be a sign of acceptance or general affection. I have a classmate that's particular about personal space, and he rejected me the first time I tried to hug him. It hurt my feelings, damn it. Now I get a handshake or a high five, and those are a letdown compared to hugs. I'm not saying you have to hug a homeless person today, but embrace your humanity, people. Feel the warm fuzzies.

    Oh, and cuddling is awesome if we have the proper height ratio and you don't snore. Or if I get to be the big spoon so I don't feel like I'm smothering you to death with my hair. And we cannot face each other, because I find it hard to breathe or position my arms comfortably.

    If you snore, I'll tell you that you sound like a dying walrus, make you sleep in another room, and possibly attempt to kill you. Jokingly, of course. Those of you that snore, for the love of sleep, WHY DON'T YOU SEE AN ENT?
     
  9. Guy Fawkes

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    I give hugs, get hugs, hugs for everyone.

    A kiss as a greeting cheek or lips is reserved for female friends I've known forever. It's always a little awkward when someone new goes in for it just because I know other people there well enough to do that. I'm tall so I just don't lean down.
     
  10. MoreCowbell

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    I don't see how that would help.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Omegaham

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    To be fair, I don't see anything wrong with a firm handshake, even with people I know well. I shake hands with most of my family (then again, we're all nerds). The only people I really hug are my mom and my grandmother. Everyone else is mostly a firm handshake.

    It's just a different way of doing things. I've always been awkward with people touching me, (Not on the same level as Durbanite, but there's a small degree of the Asbergers sensitivity to touch) so, for me, embracing someone has a lot more gravitas. I have to get over that awkwardness, and it takes a fair amount of effort to do it gracefully. So, it'll pretty much never be something that I initiate. Want to hug me? I'll find a way to deal with it and be nice. But it's not something that I enjoy, and I won't be the one who starts it.
     
  12. Pussy Galore

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    Oh, this board. I got this as a rep from someone else hours ago. Nerds, the lot of you.
     
  13. lhprop1

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    There are two people who get hugs from me; my son and my mother. Everyone else gets a handshake, including my wife.
     
  14. scootah

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    My general guide is buisness acquaintances get a hand shake. Social acquaintances get a wave or maybe a handshake if they initiate it. Friends get a hug and girls get a kiss on the cheek. Good friends get a bear hug. Good female friends get bear hugged off their feet.

    Also? I like cuddling. Ideally I should be able to breath without the other person having to move. But anyone I'm close too and have some kind of intimacy/chemistry with gets cuddles if they're ok with it.
     
  15. shimmered

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    Ok. This. I can work with this. Because you KNOW these people. STRANGERS SHOULD NOT HUG. If it's the first time we've EVER met, we should not hug. If we only know one another via the interwebz, we probably should not hug upon initial meeting. Hugs are for after the evening is over and we've mutually decided we're as IRLcool as we are E-Cool.


    And cuddles with The Guy are a given. We are always wrapped up together somehow, until it's time to sleep. Then I only touch him with one foot and my butt.
     
  16. Noland

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    I don't know if it's a New Orleans thing or if it's a Southern thing, but the cheek kiss is a common thing and I hate it. It's a first meeting thing as well. Like others have said, if it's someone you know, even casually, I suppose that's fine, but on a first meeting? A kiss? No chance.
     
  17. AlmostGaunt

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    Is anyone else sensing a hilariously awkward story here?
     
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    It IS a French thing. Makes sense it's a thing there. The rest of the south seems to hug, so as to better spray whatever cheap perfume is masking the fat rolls B.O. into your space. I don't understand the kiss either. Do you make contact? Do you just kiss the air near their cheek? Do you have to make the smacking sound? Is it a faux pas to whisper how hard you are? I'm not good at these things.

    To be honest, most people just get a wave. Especially if I'm sitting down. You walked in the door, congratu-fucking-lations. Just pull up a seat, we're not formal here. I just saw you the day before yesterday anyway. The only time I hug my dude friends is when I haven't seen them in a while. Otherwise it's a firm handshake and a one arm shoulder slap half hug. Just to make it sound totally not gay there. Chick friends get a hug. A couple girls get picked up off their feet. Protest all you want, most of you like it when your feet dangle in the hug.

    I'm waiting for an open mouthed kiss to be appropriate outside Sunday School and Boy Scouts.
     
  19. katokoch

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    Yep, most of the Frenchies I've met have gone in for a quick bise on each cheek. I shake the guys' hands...

    On handshakes, the limp wristed variety doesn't leave a good impression on me. At all. A firm but not hand crushing grip is the way to go. Fist bumps seem stupid to me like using some variation of "Bro" instead of my name.
     
  20. jennitalia

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    I hate the cheek pecks. I'm really not a touchy-feely person at all so when I meet a bunch of French people (happens almost daily) the repeated double kiss over and over is pretty much my equivalent of a living hell. Some people will kiss you right on the cheek, which makes it even worse. I refuse for my lips to make contact with their faces since I don't know where their faces have been.

    I'm more of a firm handshake kinda lady. Hugs are reserved for very close friends, family and the boyfriend.