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Tiger, say it ain't so

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by scotchcrotch, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. Beefy Phil

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    No, the North American public wants something to bolster their sense of moral superiority. They don't give a shit about character. Phelps was busted in 2004 for DUI. That didn't stop his sponsors from lining his pockets in the years prior to and following the 2008 Olympics, and it didn't stop America from turning him into our Favorite Son. Why? Because enough time had passed, and there was enough "scandal" being generated by other sources that those past improprieties didn't affect Phelps' ability to make them money. He talked to Matt Lauer, said it was an isolated mistake and went about his day. The same thing happened four years later, with only slightly greater consequence. He lost a Kellogg's sponsorship? Lordy lordy, what will he do now that he has to buy his own Frosted Flakes? He's only got $35 million left in the bank, and a guaranteed coaching position at any university in the world for the rest of his natural life.

    Any moron can see that these people don't actually mean it when they apologize, so the only rational explanation is that society derives pleasure from seeing famous people admit their own fallibility, even if it's completely disingenuous. All I'm asking for is one public figure who doesn't get high on the smell of their own farts to deny the people their fix. Maybe then they'll have to find a legitimate reason to feel good about themselves, rather than harping on people they don't know in a pathetic attempt to block out the raging hypocrisy that governs their own lives. This goes for Vick, Phelps, Woods, Hilton, Richie, Lohan, Cyrus, or any of the other dozens of already-wealthy celebrities who are either too stupid, too scared, or too reliant on public adoration to point the finger back at us and say "What about YOU, assholes?" Trust me, we don't get our noses shoved in our own shit often enough. It would be good for us.
     
  2. p00g0blin

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  3. scotchcrotch

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  4. Nick

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    Yeah, but if he keeps up the pace, we are going to DOMINATE the Ryder Cup for the better part of the 21st century.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    Why do so many people defend this guy? This is the same guy that makes more money than Michael Fucking Jordan ever did, yet whines that the golf season is too long. The fucking GOLF season. The sport that old men pay good money every single day to play after they RETIRE.

    Great golfer or not, The day I feel sorry this clown is the day I defend reality TV as a respectable entertainment.
     
  6. Beefy Phil

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    They defend him for the same reason others criticize him. People create weird, personal connections with celebrities and actually believe they have the right, maybe even the obligation, to form an opinion about the way those celebrities live their lives. Positive opinion or negative, it doesn't really matter. It's all the same delusional nonsense with different packaging.

    People are bored with themselves. How could they not be? They're bombarded day in and day out with unrealistic portrayals of exciting lives they aren't living, and they feel left out. They want to know that something better is possible, but they don't like the idea that someone else gets to enjoy it while they sit home in sweatpants, eating peas out of a can. That's why we build up our heroes. That's why we tear them down. It's a shit-brown mixture of false empathy and artificial indignation meant to distract the average person from their own shortcomings, which it does in spades, at least in the short term. That's why these media storms don't last very long. Eventually, people remember that they don't really give a shit, that they can only fake it for so long before they have to look for something or someone new to help them stave off the reality of their sad, dull lives.
     
  7. The Village Idiot

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  8. Nettdata

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  9. The Village Idiot

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  10. Dcc001

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    I hope that when I'm a multi-billionaire and I cheat on my husband and then get drunk/high and crash our car, people feel bad for me, too. I'm just like all of you!
     
  11. SBSam

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    I thought the funniest thing about this whole thing was that she broke the window of the SUV with a golf club. Do they do everything with golf clubs in that house? Mixing cocktails with a golfclub, brushing their teeth with a golf club... I'm just surprised he didn't crash a fucking golf cart.
     
  12. Xavier

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    If he was driving drunk/high, then fuck him.

    If it's just about the cheating, I think it's wrong and he shouldn't have done it, but I can't really muster up the energy to care.

    Here's what I don't understand: you are a rich and famous athlete. You are in very good shape. You have women throwing themselves at you all the time. If you have no intentions of staying faithful (and lets be honest, one girl is a mistake, ten girls is a fucking harem), why get married? If it simply is for appearances/sponsorships, he should have found a wife who was more ok with polyamory. He's stupid for getting married and dishonest for cheating.
     
  13. Gris

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    Awww shit. Guess who'll be playing Mr. Tiger Woods in an upcoming oscar-worthy biopic performance?

    You know him as Tyler Knight.
     
  14. The Village Idiot

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    What's the over/under in months/years on his appearance on Oprah claiming that he has a sexual addiction, is being treated for it with the support of his wife, and a tearful breakdown?
     
  15. toddus

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    You joke but what are the odds of him playing Lion Forests in an upcoming gonzo porn flick.
     
  16. scotchcrotch

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  17. iczorro

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    I don't necessarily feel sorry for him, but I respect him.

    The man WORKS HIS ASS OFF for his job. He plays roughly 36 holes of golf a day, with 4-5 hours of driving range and putting greens in the middle. That's a full time fucking job. And he (to use the vernacular) PWNS.

    I think people love him because he's A. The first black golfer to make it big. B. Likable as hell (until this came out, and this may raise or lower his likableness, we don't know yet). C. Built like a brick shithouse. As long as he doesn't take off his hat, he draws the ladies to golf. D. The greatest golfer... ever. Period. He will eclipse every record that has been set, he will draw crowds to a sport that, if it wasn't for him, would be dead in the water. E. Refer to C. He got that way by being extremely committed to his profession, in a commendable way.

    If they were giving an all-time MVP award for reviving a sport, Tiger would win it hands down.

    Will 10+ affairs damage his rep? No. They will increase it. He's the Joe Namath+ of Golf.
     
  18. IHaveCandyGetInVan

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    I'd really like to hear whatever scenario is responsible for Tiger backing out of his driveway at 2:30 AM and crashing into a fire hydrant and a tree that DOESN'T involve him being drunk or high, because that shit would have to be hilarious. Did Elin threaten to expose his highly lucrative black-market organ trading revenue stream if he didn't concoct a media frenzy of drugs and hookers that would allow her to divorce him for a massive settlement? Is he really a Scientologist and it's all a massive anti-anti-depressant scheme cooked up by Tom Cruise, the end result of which will be Tiger going on Oprah and tearfully talking about how over-prescription of psychiatric drugs has ruined his and many other lives?
     
  19. Gramercy

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    How come all 10+ affairs are all coming out at the same time? How can he keep these affairs under wraps for 5 years, then all of them come out in the same week? You think he was paying everyone off for 5 years, including his wife, and then they had a drunken fight that got out of control?
     
  20. The Village Idiot

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    No. As is typical with these things (and check my earlier post) - most of these 'other women' were probably led to believe that they were the 'only other woman' and once they discovered that they weren't playing the wife, but were in fact being played as well, you get what we have here. And a woman scorned ain't nothing to fuck with. Ever.