If your laptop battery is shot and drains quickly when it's not plugged in and you want to squeeze more life out of it, 1. Seal it in a ziplock bag 2. Put it in the freezer for 24 hours 3. Pop it back in and it should last much longer
Don't piss on your hands. Use Olive Oil to remove paint from your hands, ammonia to remove latex paint from rollers, brushes, etc. If you need to paint again tomorrow with the same color, just put the brushes and rollers in a plastic bag and pop it in the fridge. Refind old threads, rather than cutting new ones every time you put a screw back into the screwhole in a piece of wood and stripping the shit out of it: place screw gently in the hole, and turn backwards until it drops into the threads, then screw it in properly. Works with anything threaded. Need to get something close to level and don't have a level in your house? Put the largest and shallowest pan/bowl you have, filled almost to the top with water. Adjust until the water is the same distance from the rim all around. The closer to the top you fill, the easier it is to see, but also to spill. Need to sharpen a knife out in the world? Just use a smooth rock.
Ok, stop right there. No self-respecting wino would leave home without a corkscrew, so this whole post is moot. No corkscrew? You don't deserve the delicious grape.
- If you lock your keys in your car you can break in using a door stopper to pry the door open and a thin pole to hit the unlock switch. If you're parked in a public location be prepared for the stares. - If you live an area with poisonous snakes you can get them out of your yard by pinning them with a rake and hacking at them with a sword. You now have an excuse to buy a sword. Go do it. - If you want to blow fire take a swig of ever clear, hold a light a couple inches from your face and spit it out. Not only a great party trick, this is best attempted while drunk. - Don't shower. You'll just get dirty again. The Chinese know what I'm talking about.
Just get these light blue LED night lights. I put them in the hall and in the bathroom. Perfect amount of light without having to turn on the fucking lights. Also, you could just pull a Larry David and sit down to pee. But you don't want to be some sort of queer do you? Need to skin a deer in under a minute? Get a golf ball and a length of rope. Cut around the neck and peel the skin back enough to cover ball completely. Wrap rope over the skin around the ball. Attach rope to vehicle, attach deer to immovable object (the head above where you've skinned). Drive vehicle in opposite direction. Presto, one skinned deer.
If you're drilling holes in concrete, brick or block to hang stuff and run out of wall plugs, cut a short piece of #12 or #14 wire, put it in the hole then screw your inch 10 screw into the hole, and it will never come out. If you terminated your wire and forgot to throw your bushing on the connector the wires are comming through, cut the bushing, slip it over the wires then thread on, hiding the cut behind the wires so the inspector dosen't give you a deficiency. If you are trying to thread a nut in an awkward place, tape one side of the open end or box, lay the nut in there and reach your wrench in the awkward spot, then thread your bolt into the nut. The tape will fall away, and you wont drop your nuts. Take a tennis ball and cut a slice in one side about an inch and a half long. Squeeze the tennis ball opening the slit enough to throw small screws, marettes or other assorted hardware in there. When you let go of the ball the slit will close and the stuff inside won't fall out. It also works great if you have different coloured balls. Screws in the blue balls, washers in the green balls etc. Also works great to throw your partner small hardware when hes up a ladder or man lift. Douse your arms, face and other exposed areas when going into an attic or area full of insulation. The fiberglass won't stick to your skin and drive you crazy.
Overcook cookies? Put them in a plastic bag with a piece of white bread. You sacrifice a slice of bread for moist, moist cookies. For phones that are water damaged - in a sealed jar or bag with rice, or at a low temperature (100-110) for a few hours. I have had success with both. If you make the temperature too high, it will wash out the screen. You may want to plug the holes with something because I had rice stuck in my phone for a while too. If you do break your screen, it usually only costs between $30-120 to replace the screen. That's how phone insurance companies turn a profit. I'm not particularly good with my hands, but I was able to fix my screen by buying a capacitive touch screen, LCD, and dual-sided phone repair tape and a youtube video. If you've got an iPhone it's easier since there are more resources. If your computer is acting weird and not connecting to the network, a start->run 'cmd' then 'ipconfig /release' and 'ipconfig /renew' fixes more problems than it should. If you know the site you want to find, on google you can do a search for "site:example.com salty wet mandarin" if you don't want other results messing up your search If you want to wire your whole house for internet it's often easier than you would expect. The wires for the phone are likely Cat5 (4 pair) and you can run Ethernet on them. You don't really need to wash clothes that often. If you replace a cycle of 4 washes per month with 3 sprays of febreeze and 1 wash your colors will last longer. You can get around long lines in walmart if you have just a few items. Look for short lines at the jewelry counter, customer service, hunting counter, or camera counter. They're all the same registers, same credit card readers, etc. If you're searching for cars, I can't recommend Autotempest enough. Prevents entering your criteria in a million times, allows for geographic searching of craigslist, etc. You can usually buy cheaper fruits, vegetables, and spices at asian supermarkets and farmers markets. Instead of killing bugs you can vacuum them. And watch them die a slow, painful, dusty death. With no mess! If you're watching porn a lot, upgrade your browser so you have the 'private browsing' mode. It's worth it's weight in gold. If you lose your phone charger, the next time you're at a hotel tell them you lost yours and if they can check the lost and found. They'll often just give you one someone else lost. Use craigslist to shop for self-improvement items. People buy them under the impression they will use them and sell them back at a massive discount to remove the reminder of how inadequate they are. Same for too-common wedding presents. And happy endings. What?
I've lived in 4 different places in the past 3 years. Queens while in undergrad, at my parents house during my lost year, then in two different places for both years of grad school. Chances are, I'll be in a new place again this fall. I feel I should include another tip, so here's one: If you're a student and about to go buy textbooks, stop. You would be amazed at how many textbooks have pdfs floating around online. Check out a website like filetram.com, or even just google the textbook title and pdf. This past semester, I had roughly 5 textbooks to get, and ended up finding them all online. And these are graduate textbooks in niche subjects, so if I can find those, basic undergrad courses' textbooks are definitely out there, and these are the ones that typically fuck students the most. These pdfs aren't even just scans of the pages, I'm talking full on clickable table of contents, highlightable, etc. If you really want a physical copy, print it out. There is simply no reason to pay $140 for a book you'll use for one maybe two semesters.
This thing better be true and not some elaborate hoax to destroy my laptop battery, or so help me God I will cut you.
There's no guarantee it'll solve your battery woes, but it won't fuck it up either unless you spilled something in it.
Quit being pussies and do it, it'll work. It won't "fix" it completely but it will restore it for a while. And you can keep doing it. Just make sure the bag is sealed up and you let it thaw a little before popping it back in. And this should go without saying, but give it good charge before letting run on the battery again.
And if it doesn't work we can have one of the mods trace him and I'll go kneecap his ass for a small fee.
This is something for the TiBettes that I read on Pinterest yesterday, but haven't had a chance to test out myself. If you painted your nails and are waiting for them to dry, lightly mist them with Pam (cooking spray). Supposedly, it will immediately set your nail polish and prevent smudges. Again, I haven't tried this out myself yet, so don't kill me if you destroy your manicure.
When cleaning spiny lobsters (this will not work for you eastcoasters), you can break off on of the lobsters main spines and insert it into the shit hole and it will pull out the entire shit vein and the tail will be ready to eat.
Got the hiccups? Eating a spoonful or two of peanut butter will make them go away. You can sharpen razor blades, like Gillette Fusion, but rubbing them on jeans. Look it up on YouTube but the gist is that you make 20 strokes in one direction and then 20 in the other and the blade is sharpened. I used to go through a blade a week and now go through one a month.