So the evil demon spawn I call children are now doing time outs in front-lean-and-rest position. Their listening has improved quite a bit and my sanity is slowly starting to emerge from under the rock it has been using as a hiding place.
-Crown Royal said it well: every kid is different and every parent is different..you have to do what works for you. There's some wrong ways to do things, but there's no right way. -even if you don't intend it, you'll find yourself reverting to the parenting style that was used on you, be that a good or bad thing. It's hard to break those patterns if you're trying to, especially when you're tired or the situation sucks...you have to work hard at it. -everyone rolled their eyes when I said it pre-parenting, but I was right: dog training is a good precursor to parenting. One tip: well exercised dogs/kids tend to be well-behaved dogs/kids. -the first two months of parenting were the worse weeks in my life. Everything I feared came true...lack of sleep to the point of hallucinating, screaming child, post-op aches/pains, family issues, etc. My mantras were "this too shall pass" and "if crack addicted teenagers can raise kids, I can fucking do this".
Playmobil is the latest addiction. Beware of this oneif your Lil' un gets into it, it has a bottomless supply of shit. It's durable and incredibly detailed, but damn expensive. It's funny. With it's hundreds of sets, and all the fantasy things a little girl could choose from: like castles and princesses to zoos with animals to farms with horses and ponies, she chooses "Vacation Hot Spots". A waterpark, a summer cottage, a PETTING zoo (not a real one) and a zip-line/rock climbing wall. She wants the Winnebago next. I get to say it first on here: kids are weird.
Don't hit them. Ever. Develop a bed time routine that includes reading. Teach them to do things for themselves.
I used to train horses. This has made me consistent and controlled when they need discipline. My kids are well behaved and I attribute it to my years of training. You can't be angry when teaching them, and you must remember that you are ALWAYS teaching them. You must lead by example, they are always watching. Don't be afraid to explain the hows and whys things are the way they are. They will respect you more if the reasons aren't "because I said so." And yes, get them outside! It's healthy and makes all of you happy.
This never ending winter is killing me. Asthmatic son and anything under 60 do not make for outside fun time. I would have loved to take them sledding or build a snow man but that will probably not happen for at least a few more years.
Question for parents; how did you wind up deciding to have your first kids? What led up to it, why did you finally "pull the trigger," etc? It's a thing my wife and I have had some chats about and may eventually do and I would appreciate insight into the process other people went through. I assume it's a spectrum from "accident" to "JPL scientific analysis" and would welcome any stories from those or in between.
We got pregnant with our first while using condoms. So that was awesome. We were only married 9 months and we were going to wait a couple of years. In the long run it worked out the best for us, and I like being a young...er parent now that the kids are getting older. In all honesty, if you wait for the "right time" it will never happen. There always seems to be something to put it off. Particularly if you are waiting until you have enough money. You will NEVER have enough money. But it all seems to work out in the end. It can be crazy/frustrating, but also a lot of fun. If you raise your kids to be decent, they can add quite a bit to your life and not be a burden as so many seem to think. My kids make me laugh all the time.
I've wanted to have one as long as I can remember, but actually going for it I think there's factors for all to consider: is your home "kid-friendly"? If you live on the 22nd floor of an apartment building it can be tedious when you have a critter that wants to run around the park all day and you're having to make to unnecessary up-and-down journeys all the time. Peronsally, my wife and I waited until we had a house with our own backyard before trying to have a kid. An 2-bedroom apartment felt cramped and once you throw a kid into that mix you suddenly have FAR less room, with your beautiful feng shui organized pad overtaken by hideous day-glo die casted plastic toys and Diaper Genies everywhere you look. I would suggest making sure you're financially sound for it as well, making sure you have money to fall back on in case shit happens and somebody gets laid off, wrecks a car or anything else that can send you towards debt if you're not prepared. Debt is a thing that can get racked up unnoticeably in the first couple years and when you DO notice it, it can be gargantuan. STAY OFF YOUR CREDIT CARDS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IF YOU CAN. And buy Diapers Genies, by the way. Those simple things are the greatest friend a parent will have their first two years.
We had talked about it, knew we wanted to start a family, but hadn't really set a time line to it. We were of the camp "see what happens and roll with it." If we had condoms we'd use them, if not no biggie. Then within a month she was pregnant. We were shocked because we had both been told at separate times it might be difficult to conceive. Apparently not! Waiting until you're 100% ready is going to push it a ways down the line. It's crazy but rewarding, and the first bit really isn't that expensive if you breast feed. Between that and cloth diapers we haven't seen an appreciable increase in day-to-day costs. That fact certainly helps as I recently lost my job and am still a student as well. It's scary but we're managing just fine.
I swear Freddy is going to be the death of me. He just randomly picks up toys and snaps them. Of course they aren't his toys. I'm on the verge of moving from "well no playing with toys for you for an hour or more" to just grabbing one of his toys and breaking it in half right in front of him each time he does it.
Well, I'm a single parent/law school student, and that's just as horrific as it sounds. The Future Queen is 2 years old, and is already far too smart. The other day she made a point of taking my hand, bringing me over to all our doors, and showing me that she knows exactly which keys unlock which doors, and how to lock/unlock said doors. And she still tries to ride my dog like a horse, usually when said dog is trying to sleep.
You can't bring me down, Sexual Chocolate. I'm really looking forward to questioning her dates while tapping a butterfly knife against my groin. Maybe tell him about how I was taught to not leave bruises.