Heckle This! I'm abroad and many people when they see a foreigner feel the need to shout whatever English comes to mind. This results in being on the receiving end of random people on the street saying "hello" or "How are Jew?" or something of the like. Every so often, someone gets the balls to spout "Fuck you!" or "Hello, mothee-fucka" at me. My responses have thus far been insults just a hair too complex for them to get, such as: "You're just pretty enough to rape" or "Everyone who loves you is wrong." Another gem is "That mouth pussy don't make you pretty, boy." Focus: What is your default insult for heckling? What should I yell back?
Bad transit experiences: Just read this and it made me smile, thought I would share. <a class="postlink" href="http://elitedaily.com/news/world/man-writes-lengthy-complaint-airline-sit-next-thought-infant-hippopotamus/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://elitedaily.com/news/world/man-wr ... popotamus/</a> Mine would have to be flying domestically in heavy turbulence and a scruffy young aboriginal girl freaking out and being restrained by staff after running up and down the aisle, screaching and screaming "we're all gunnar die" and finally trying to open the door. She must have thought jumping out of a plane doing 1300kph at 30,000 feet was her best chance at surviving the ordeal. She's lucky she was female and weighed less than 50kg otherwise things would have gone much worse for her. Still, took my mind off the turbulence.
When the Line Gets Crossed Right now, CNN is talking about the following video, in which a toddler is encouraged to swear at the camera and use racial terms. From the context of the video, it's apparent the relatives or parents of child are doing this for their entertainment. But to me, it isn't entertainment -- it's sickening footage. Spoiler WARNING: NSFW language NSFW Focus: Funny vs. offensive. Romantic vs. corny. Sexy vs. trashy. Healthy hobby vs. unhealthy obsession. Gamesmanship vs. cheating. Liquor enthusiast vs. alcoholic.... There are lines everywhere, some more clearly drawn than others. What are your lines? What distinguishes one side from the other. Why were those lines drawn there? NOT the focus: DO NOT discuss anything racial about that video. This post is not a racial commentary, nor is it intended as a racial commentary thread. The msm is, unfortunately, spinning this video into a racial debate when what they should be focusing on is bad parenting. It's the perfect example of them doing "news for views" rather than "news you can use" -- And that's also one of my lines.
Dain Bramage? Nah, just got my bell rung Concussions in football. Focus: "Assumption of the risk" with players responsible because they signed up for it, or do the rules need to change even more? Do you think the NFL is actually at risk of losing it's talent pool, as more and more parents learn about the risks of the sport and discourage their children from playing? Will you/do you let your children play?
It's the Little Things... ...That Irritate the Fuck Out of Me. This morning, I saw Lolo Jones on some show. Totally had it with this hype and this virginal chick. How much metaphorical whoring do you have to do before you're expected to, oh, I don't know, actually put the fuck out? I digress. I will not watch ESPN or any sports station for the next two weeks because all of the talk will be about 'what will happen' instead of 'what is actually happening.' I have the same issue with news stations. I have people and things that annoy me that my wife is not allowed to talk about except to put a 'fucking' in the middle of it. For instance, she can't say 'Phil Simms.' She can say 'Phil FUCKING Simms.' She got super annoyed with me today and said 'what the fuck? You get annoyed by the littlest things, yet the big things don't bother you. Just shut up about Lolo already.' The more I thought about it, she was right. It's the little paper cuts that piss me off, the dismemberments? Not so much. Focus: Yes, we've done versions of this. Anyway: What are the little things that you react negatively to, way out of proportion to? Why do they annoy you so? Any commonality between them? Or are you just fucking old and cranky like me?
One of my favorite exercises is to make my students write a "Life Resume", stuff you are happy you did or are proud of. What's on your life resume? What are the highlights of your life?
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/altered_state/2014/01/colorado_marijuana_businesses_have_a_big_problem_banks_won_t_take_their.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_ ... their.html</a> Focus: Pot's legalization in Colorado. Any of you there? What are the ramifications of this? Alt-Focus: What would life be like in your hometown if pot were suddenly legal?
How to take drugs and not die It bothers me that there is not enough education/information about drugs, not the education that says never do drugs, the education that says if you are going to do drugs this is what is going to happen to you, this is the high you will experience and this is the low you will experience. Information that gives you a guide of the safer and more dangerous places in your body to inject or what you need to in case of an overdose. focusI know a lot of you are morally superior to myself and have never had drug problems but lets give some practical tips for those who will be dabbling
Your Pantaloons have spontaneously combusted. I have a friend with that's a nice guy but a low self-esteem pussy slave and he has a habit of dating girls that are hard to be in the same room as. His latest misadventure is with a girl who is simply a smug pathological liar. If you talk about doing basically anything, she will one-up it with something she did more amazing. She is 5'2" and about 115 pounds, and claims she can bench 275 (Bull. Shit.). She claims she was an CK model. (Not. Even. Close.). She claims a PHD from McGill (probably the most elite university in Canada) yet argued with me that the American Revolution took place in 1492 (when I showed her on my phone, she rolls her eyes and say "Some people just have to be right about everything."), and claims Jewel therapy is a factual science. I mean, I've never met somebody so full of shit in my entire life. It's gotten to the point that whenever she says something, we now look at him as if to say "WHY are you still putting up with this shit??!" Focus: You've all come across heavyweight champion liars, the lies they spin and get caught in. Relive your favourites.
What I Learned from Hollywood - Dads are fat slobs with get-rich-quick schemes, and moms are out-of-their-league matriarchs and dad is sooooooooo lucky to have her. - That human beings can outrun a fireball explosion. - When you fall to your death, your back faces the ground the entire time and you always land on a car roof. - People have sex under satin sheets and fuck face-to-face. - There is a packed dancefloor at every house party. And farm animals running around. What's with the pig? I guess anything goes at our craaaaaazy house party! - Children are never murdered, at least on-camera. - All high-speed police pursuits go through Chinatown, and Chinese people have parades every day of the week. - When you do acid or mushrooms, you actually see things that aren't there. - When alcohol is opened, party music plays and scantily-clad hotties transmaterialize out of nowhere. Focus: If Hollywood was your only teacher, what would it have taught you?
Bad Parenting I understand that some people are more liberal with their kids and others, I sure as hell can't stand helicopter parents who feel that have to also be their kid's friends and obsess and monitor everything they do. However, this... ...why did you even have kids if you need to put them on a leash? They're not pets. You don't get to train them, and as an adult-- their parent-- you should be able to handle them. That's why you HAD them. Focus: Bad, lazy or negligent parenting you have bared witness to or experienced first hand.
Your Drankin' Zone As we've basically surmised over the years together, there is no tighter bond than the fact that we're all basically alcoholics in some form or fashion (functioning, fun-loving, denial, imprisoned, sober). There are many ways to imbibe, whether it's with friends at a shitty local irish pub, a few bottles of wine with the significant other cooking, housing shit beer at a football tailgate party, pre-gaming at 9pm and clubbing until 4am, sipping scotch on your porch watching leaves rattle, or getting good and sloshy at 10am and passing out at 4pm with some friends - what's your zone? Focus: Everyone has that comfortable time and place for drinking, where's yours? Personally - I like a good afternoon drunk. Get some good friends, find a reason to be outside and away from any driving responsibilities, and see how long you can stay drunk from about noon onwards. Start with a few good beers, and then slide into whatever is left.
That was fun, lets never do that again Have you ever done something that almost killed you? Have you done something that seemed like a good idea at first that ended up scaring you for life? I'm sure my stories are tame, but one of the scariest moments of my life was when I had a bad day at class and I decided to ride my motorcycle to the top of a local mountain. This mountain had a well known park atop so I went there. When I got to the park, I parked my bike and walked out towards the flagpole. I thought this would be a good idea because there was a little amphitheater there that looked out toward the town below.I thought I could sit and relax and sort through what happened. When I was half way there I had a thought that not having my lights on was stupid. So I go back and turn the headlights on. Once I turn them on I see a mountain lion walking away from me, I can see the black tipped tail wagging as it was walking away from me. It wasn't more than 15 yards away. I have no idea why I decided to turn my lights on or walk back to the bike. Scares the shit out of me to this day. What is really freaky is that it was walking away from me, which means at some point it was walking parallel or towards me. Bitch of it was, I knew not to go to the park at night.
What's in your car? I work in marketing/HR, but because of my background, I'm also the backup/fill in for our general contractor. Weird, I know. My tahoe is the most expensive work truck in the parking lot. I may not be able to live out of it, but I can certainly build a house with what's in it. Front seat and one of the back bucket seats is filled with everything I need for my HR stuff. Everything else, the carpet is covered in a thick tarp and I have various tool boxes, saws, drivers, paint cans, caulk, etc. Aside from what I consider to be mandatory -- knife, jumper cables, mag light, change of warm clothes -- I also carry several different types of first aid kits, various braces, and I've been longing for a defibrilator. Focus: What do you carry in your car?
I Have Beads I don't remember doing a thread like this, but it seems like we would have. According to this article, these are the most popular procedures. Some people get their noses fixed, chins clefted, boobs enlarged, 6th finger or 3rd nipple removed, lipo sucked, or a scar muted. Whether simply to feel better about your appearance or associated with necessary surgery . . . Focus: Have you ever had plastic surgery? If so, what? Alt. Focus: Show off your boobs or your nose or your (lack of) paunch. Either to brag about your enchancement or to get the board's opinion about having a procedure.
Do [this] before you die I don't like cruises. In fact, I can't stand them. And all the suspicions I've had about the ships have recently been validated in the media with everything that's gone wrong in the cruise industry, specifically with Carnival. That being said, before you die, everyone needs to take a cruise to Alaska. You don't need to see more than a few towns, and you don't need to spend more than a half day in each town. But you do need to see them (and go on some of the local excursions, like the one in Juneau where you take a float plane to Taku Lodge). I've been fortunate to travel all over North America and the islands in the gulf of mexico and carribean. I've been to Europe several times (and I could live on the Amalfi Coast). Still say Alaska is the way to go though if you had one last opportunity. Focus: Forget the bucket list crap. This is one thing. One experience. What is the one thing you believe everyone must do before they die?
Buried Treasure!! Based on this article. Focus: What would your perfect buried treasure look like? The coins discovered would be very close to my perfect buried treasure. If you found your buried treasure, what would you do? How would you proceed? Expose it to the world and bask in the glory? Keep it quiet, slowly sell it off and make your escape to an island? Alt Focus. Every fucking time I read about something like this, or a lottery winner, it's some fucking hippy dippy asshole that's into fate and karma. They smell bad, too. Why is it that the only people that seem to find this shit are either 1) old enough to be dead for six years, or 2) fucking hippy assholes that are going to blow it on a food co-op?
C'mon, throw in a buck! Focus: Inspired by some recent Drunk Thread posts about tipping, what are your thoughts on it? When do you never tip, and when do you tip really generously? Or should tipping even exist?
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-people-who-really-are-making-world-better-place/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-people-wh ... ter-place/</a> Who is making the world a better place? Anyone else belong on this list? What about the four people mentioned here?