Focus: Suggest threads here. Subfocus: Don't be a dick about suggestions. It'll be more work for me to bump, but easier for me to find the good threads, so hopefully it'll inject some new life into this place. Thank PIMPTRESS for the idea. Get at it, people.
I've already posted this in the suggestion thread and I'm only putting it up again because I got some feedback that it would make a good thread, so... <a class="postlink" href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/03/25/bill_gates_funds_condoms_gates_pledges_100_000_for_a_more_pleasurable_condom.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/20 ... ondom.html</a> Bill gates has set up a $100,000 prize for inventing a condom that feels good. It's a rather clever thing to do, as the condom creates it's own incentive for use (although given some of the more horrific practices that exist across the third world, I'm not convinced it will take much hold). But the article discusses some reactions to the prize, and it seems odd how the narrative of opposition to condom use comes exclusively from men, while women are seen to be indifferent or always in favour of condoms. But in my experience, women have said they dislike condoms as much as, if not more than, men. My ex went on birth control specifically so I could come inside of her, while I kind of preferred using condoms because they're less messy than not using them. Friends of mine have echoed similar sentiments: Take safety out of the equation, and women don't love condoms for their own sake. I did once try to use those "ultra-thin" polyurethane condoms once. Aside from being very expensive, polyurethane has a serious materials flaw making it unsuitable for condom use: it is not very elastic. The damn thing would just not fit over my dick, and it was painful trying to put it on. Focus: how could we invent a condom that feels good (or otherwise find a way to encourage condom use without resorting to STD stats). Have you tried any particular condoms (is lambskin, polyurethane, trinitrile, studded, warming, etc) that felt significantly better than your garden variety latex? Alt-focus: how often do you use condoms if you're in a relationship where STDs aren't an issue and contraception is otherwise taken care of? How does your partner feel about them?
I'll post a couple of ideas that were passed over by old/absentee moderators: Thread title: That Can't Be Safe I took my son to the dentist yesterday, and brought him to his grandparents' house where he is living with his mom. He was hungry, so I scooped out some left over spaghetti and put it in the microwave. (Something I need to mention is that I hate the sound of microwave alarms, so I always wait until there are only a couple of seconds left on the countdown timer, and take the food out, avoiding the annoying beep.) So, there were only a few seconds left, and I opened the door, expecting the microwave to shut down and stop emitting its rays. IT DIDN'T. It just kept going! The countdown timer was stopped, the door was open, and it just kept going! Freaked out that I might be harming myself, I shut the door and unplugged the machine. Once my ex-wife got home, I asked her about the possessed microwave. She informed me that all I had to do was just press the "STOP" button on the control panel, and that would shut it off. I asked her how long it had been doing this, and she said: "About 6 months." What the hell?! Focus: What sort of dangerous things have you let slide because you were too broke/cheap/lazy/incompetent/ignorant to do anything about it? Ever drive your car around with no front brakes for a few months because fixing them would cut into your weed budget? Do you have an appliance that won't turn off when it should? Do you have to lock your front door with a chair jammed against the door knob? There are a lot of college students on this board, and most college students aren't known for their fix-it skills, so there should be a lot of examples. Ex: One of my longtime friends lives in this old trailer that he inherited after his grandmother died. The first time I went to the bathroom there, the water in the sink was running continuously at about 25% capacity. You could not stop it, no matter how hard you tried to turn the handle. There were copper stains on the sink where the water had been running. (anyone who knows anything about plumbing knows that this is the result of a bad washer/valve; a cheap fix) I asked him how long the water had been running, and he said: "Ever since I got here." He had been living there for over a year.
Focus: Would you rather eat Rosie ODonnells unkempt pussy every day for a year, or fuck a bum once but have a 50/50 chance of catching HIV from him?
Thread Title: Movies that need to be re-made FOCUS: Movies that in your opinion, should be re-made, and why. What would you change? MY CHOICES: While it would be easy to say "Damn-near every movie based on a Stephen King book except The Mist, Misery, and the The Shawshank Redemption," I would really like to see a re-make of The Stand. ABC did what they could with the 1000+ page book, forming it into a miniseries, but some of the content was definitely un-air-able on commercial TV. The only way I think that book could be done justice would be with a series on a channel like HBO or Showtime, where things like sex, cussing, and gory violence are allowed. Another movie that I think needs a second shot is Needful Things, also based on the book by Stephen King. The reason: In the movie, they completely left out the Ace Merril factor. For those of you unfamiliar, Ace Merril was the villain from the movie "Stand By Me" (based on the novella "The Body") and the short story "Nona." He reappears after a long hiatus in the literary version of "Needful Things." Spoiler In the book, (which takes place about 30 years after "Stand By Me") Ace Merril is a gun-dealing ex-con and a coke-head, and he is partially influential in the antagonist's (Leland Guant) plan to bring down the town of Castle Rock. I really wanted to see Merril's and Gaunt's cars (a Dodge Challenger of unspecified vintage, and a Tucker Talisman [a fictitious model] respectively). I remember that there was a similar thread on the old board, and someone mentioned that they would like to see an “R” rated version of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie that had profanity and graphic violence, instead of the corny, slapstick fighting and cheesy dialog in the original Ninja Turtles franchise, and I agree. So let’s hear your ideas! ALT. FOCUS: Movies that should never be re-made. Or discuss the shittiest remakes you've ever seen.
Thread title: A place where we can remain men together! I read the Cracked.com article here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/least-believable-page-on-the-web-large-penis-support-group The large penis support group. I'm not trying to be a DICK, but do you think that they could have made up a name that doesn't STICK OUT so much? FOCUS: OK, enough with the puns, let's discuss this and/or mock it.
How about a general info about the poster topic? Everyone wants lurkers to post and it would give them a place.
Like this one stickied at the top of the page? If you can't find it how do we expect a lurker to? http://www.theidiotboard.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2
Question for Nom (or any other moderator who wants to step up): ...So, when are any of these going to be bumped? I see some good ideas here; I won't toot my own horn, but the condom and weird neighbors threads sound like they've got some legs. I know I'll comment in them. Also, what exactly do you have to do to bump a thread? You said that this would be harder for you; how so?
"I can't wait until I'm a kid again" Last weekend my wife and I had some people over, and since we're at that weird age now where some of our friends have kids and others like us don't, there were were a few rats running around our house and yard. Now we've lived in this house for about 3 years, and until last weekend I had only viewed the hill in our backyard as a complete bitch because I hated having to mow on it. But once those kids started rolling down the hill -- as kids are wont to do -- it hit me: I can't wait to be a kid again, so I can build a massive fucking slip n slide down that hill, and slide on it all day until I inevitably break something or throw out my back. Focus: Ever had one of those "I can't wait until I'm a kid again" moments? If you have kids, what do you enjoy doing with them that reminds you of your childhood and makes you feel like a kid again? If you don't have kids, what are some of the things you look forward to doing with them that you feel you're too "adult" to go and do yourself right now?
"Tastes just like chicken" Focus: I know a considerable number of the TiBettes have willingly admitted to same-sex exploration, but what about the TiBers? Any of you guys ever tasted dick before?
It's been two days, and I am a busy person. Please calm down. But to answer your question, I either have to parse not always grammatical posts to make new threads or cleave them from existing threads, figure out what the most salient and interesting part of the idea is and promote that, and add a title that's going to be engaging without being misleading. Now, all of those things could range from "easy" to "no work at all", but oftentimes, threads aren't as ready to be run as people assume they are. Take, for example, your "big penis" forum thread. What sort of discussion will that spark? Let's laugh at these people who believe something just slightly silly? There really isn't room for discussion there, no matter how many dry puns you try to cram in there. I'd have to figure out whether the topic per se was worth it, and then figure out which part of it to promote. We'd probably run some kind of "what do you think about penis size" thing, which is fairly well-worn territory around here without an interesting lede.
As I alluded to in the neighbors thread, I had a miserable landlord. Have we done a thread talking about terrible landlords and other positions you have to cater to, other than bosses? Organization presidents, team captains, etc...
Unintentional Hilarity Thanks to the internet, there is such an unlimited access to the bizarre. I mean, there's probably at least a couple things I see a week where I just rub my eyes and say "Are they serious?" I'm not sure if anything tops this. Apparently it's serious, and my fucking GOD is it amazing. I'm fucking dying here... ....that stands for "Sexy Teen Dream" but aside from missing that hilarious abbreviation, why the fuck would you record such a ridiculously terrible song in the first place? Could he look like a bigger schmuck? Focus: What things that were meant to be serious do have you found hilarious?