Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Thou frothy fen-sucked barnacle!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    174
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    2,060
    I have started reading Nice ways to say bad things in English and it is a fountain of potential insults, some only English majors will comprehend. For example, an excerpt:
    "You clod of puke-stoking roastmeat for worms!" Will Shakespeare
    "You show yourself highly fed and lowly taught." Will Shakespeare
    "She was a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper" Jane Austen

    Also, I have had a lot of fun with the Shakespeare Insult Generator:
    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html</a>

    But, we can do better.
    Focus: Insults. Let's have some of the good ones.
     
  2. shegirl

    shegirl
    Expand Collapse
    Redemption Seeking Whore

    Reputation:
    391
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    5,018
    Location:
    Hell
    We did this on the RMMB and it was only a trainwreck after the first 4-5 pages when the tards began prairedogging in it and posting stupid crap we'd already seen/heard. Be original people.

    BD and his bro now live together and work together. I'm beginning to think it's not really his brother rather his lover. I know the guy (bro? ok well call him that) takes long bubble baths. I'm just sayin'.
     
  3. Porkins

    Porkins
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    70
    My grandfather was always fond of calling a person a 'porcine fornicator.'
     
  4. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Mark Twain is a good source:

    I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a letter strongly approving of it.

    In modern times, Christopher Hitchens:

    If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox.
     
  5. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    9
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,149
    Location:
    Stockholm
    On a related note, my friend and I love to make racist jokes, and comment on other races. But I swear we aren't really racist. I have a black friend, I think.

    So we realized you can't just go around saying slurs, so we invented our own code words when we are in public.

    Try and guess the following races:

    Deeps
    AAs
    Obes
    Bargs
    Squints
    Cisco or Cisco kids
     
  6. Dcc001

    Dcc001
    Expand Collapse
    New Bitch On Top

    Reputation:
    322
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,032
    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    My dad has worked in construction for the whole of his adult life; he curses like a sailor. Maybe worse. Oddly enough, though, if there's someone who genuinely pisses him off, or someone he despises, he refers to them as a 'punk' or a 'clown.' It's almost like swearing at them is too kind. If he ever refers to so-and-so as a clown, I know that person should just be considered a write off for the rest of their life.

    My personal favourite insult ever uttered by a judge in court:

     
  7. Loke

    Loke
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Messages:
    37
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    Wasn't this back when the Democratic party was the lynchin' party? Doesn't that just make Alfred Packer a John Brown of healthy appetite?

    Focus:

    I consider being able to deliver good insults one of the most important traits of an educated person. Some of my favorite zingers:

    You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not naturally have been this stupid.
    Dr Samuel Johnson

    Rolf Harris is a difficult man to hate, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying.
    A.A. Gill

    Dannii Minogue – it is a sad story; when she was a child, a dingo ran off with her talent.
    Mark Lamarr

    Does Paul McCartney make records just to annoy me personally?
    Alex Harvey

    You know you’ve made it in showbiz when you’re known by one name. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Kenny Lynch.
    Mark Lamarr

    Two things in that play should be cut. The second act and that child’s throat.
    Noel Coward
     
  8. Elset

    Elset
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2009
    Messages:
    572
    Location:
    near Boulder, CO
    "He's just a fast food knight."
     
  9. Viking33

    Viking33
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    313
    We always called blacks "Mondays". Because everyone hates Mondays.
     
  10. whathasbeenseen

    whathasbeenseen
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    26
    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
    Messages:
    606
    My best one is from spanish:

    Malparedo desgraciado aborto:

    It literally translates to something like "Disgraceful, misborn, abortion"

    But what it means though is much worse:

    You are a disgusting misbirth, worse than the shit that comes out after the baby. Instead of allowing you to be born, your mother should have aborted you to save us all the pain of enduring your presence.
     
  11. eric

    eric
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    120
    My favorite insult comes from Ren & Stimpy. Ren to Stimpy:

    "You're only good for two things! No good and good for nothing!"
     
  12. carnac

    carnac
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    19
    Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.”
    Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.”

    Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.”
    Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
     
  13. Benzilla

    Benzilla
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    267
    ...And you will still be ugly.

    If you're going to quote one of the classiest insults of all time do it right.
     
  14. Ogee

    Ogee
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2010
    Messages:
    104
    No Full Metal Jacket quotes?

    You are nothing but unorganized, grabastic pieces of amphibian shit.

    Slimy little shit, twinkle toed cock sucker.

    I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister.

    I didnt know they stacked shit that high.

    Looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
     
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    624
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    16,521
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    If I threw you in a pond I could skim ugly for three days.
     
  16. Kittie

    Kittie
    Expand Collapse
    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Messages:
    85
    No Dorothy Parker? I absolutely adore this woman!


    "It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard. "

    "That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them. "

    "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. "

    "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."

    "If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. "

    "He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery. "

    "Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!"

    “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone”
     
  17. BL1Y

    BL1Y
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2010
    Messages:
    2,012
    From The Emperor's Club:

    And of course, one of the best insult exchanges ever:

     
    #17 BL1Y, Feb 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015