"It doesn't usually smell like that" "No Shave November is going well so far..."* "Want to come over to my place? Oh, you can meet my cats!!" *An actual Facebook status I saw a couple of weeks ago.
"Taste this and see if it's bad." (Applies to both genders) "What do you mean, 'Where did the condom go?'" "I've been thinking about your sister..."
I hope to have my own place soon. Do you think you can pick me up? They say it's not contagious. Did you come yet?
"I just thought it could bend that way." "I picked out a movie for us to watch." "Want to buy me a drink?"....No. Not ever. "My life would make such a great movie! Just listen to me explain why in detail...."
"You're, like, my best friend ever!" "Something happened to your car" "I'm just like one of the guys" "I've never done that before"
Anything after sex. Actually, you can say whatever the hell you want. You could tell me to smear hot sauce on my junk so you can actually feel something next time for all I care. As long as it doesn't wake me up or interfere with you calling a cab home.
"My mother wants to move in with us." "I'm sorry I cheated on you, but you wouldn't fuck me hard enough." "No, not tonight. I'm too tired." "I'm not sure I like that you hang out with [insert friend]." "I have a headache. I have a cramp. My legs hurt. My feet are sore. I feel sick today. blah blah blah."
If you still have to make airplane noises to get it in her mouth, I think you're aiming a little young there, Grind.
"I talked to my mom for 3 hours on the phone today and...." "I'm going to look at wedding dresses. You know, just to try them on"
"You can be as loud as you want, I turned grandpa's hearing aid down." "My shitpussy seems to be on its period. I think I need to go to the doctor." "I really missed you while you were at work today and, long story short, somethings stuck and I can't get it out." "I bin cheetin on yeeew with our grandson"