Things women want and the things men think women want.

[Self-Delete]

Swing and a miss.

 

[snip]

 

Deleted

 

You're not married, are you?

Women expect men to know what it is they want, without them having to ask. Their wants and desires can change at the drop of a hat (moreso during a particular time of the month) and we men are expected to be able to discern these wants through some mythic innate ability they seem to believe we possess. It is only after considerable cohabitation and keen observation that this ability shifts from the mythic to the concrete and becomes the truest definition of "game," and it involves catchphrases such as, "Yes, dear" and, "You're right!"

 

Sounds a lot like, "Fuck you" and "You have to sleep sometime" to me.

 

I can't stand it when you can tell there is something wrong, and ask what it is, and they say "nothing"

It is always nothing.

But then they start crying, and you ask again, and again, they say nothing, while chocking back their tears.

So you say you know something is wrong, then they do that hand emphasis that everything is fine, while crying and move in for the hug, and then finally tell you.

And the man by then is so annoyed that they shouldn't be opening up their weak points like the neck to them with the hands so, so close.

Fuck that "nothing" shit. Tell us what you feel so we don't have to keep asking. We aren't the rain man, we don't like repeating ourselves.

 

This is where I get hung up. If anyone comes up to me with some small problem that has a simple solution that I have a suggestion for how to fix, my mouth is going to open and words are going to fly out. All that person has to do to appease me is acknowledge I said it. I don’t give a shit if they use my solution, but getting angry because I offered one or trying to convince me it won’t work when they had no intention of trying it anyway seems a little weird. This would apply to men and women equally if men didn’t usually have the decency to just say, “Yeah,” or “I should try that,” then keep on talking.

To sum it up:

What women want:

Someone to vent to about their problems.

What men think women want:

Help with their problems.

Tip for men:

Nod and smile/frown as needed.

I have never read it, but I think this is pretty much the entire idea behind Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.

 

(this is with jägerette and all the former jägerettes)

Course I do that. I am Kind Karing Kuhjäger. Though it is frustrating when women aren't entirely open, I wonder if there is some sort of societal pressure, or something that is out there that women feel that they can't be open?

I know men are "supposed" to be tough, not show their emotions, or talk about feelings, but is there something that women feel that they have to keep emotions from men too? Do they think we will think less of them after opening up?

 

Hey the bolded part was just me being an misogynistic asshole for no reason.

In reality our relationship is like this:

She is the woman and generally does womanly things and I'm the man and I do manly things. We're separate but equal in our natures. I'm a bit more dominant and she is a bit more submissive. We both aren't afraid to call each other out on each other's bullshit. However the one thing that defines our relationship is our polarity. For example my gf knows what she wants to do like 10% of the time. The other 90% she has no idea. I usually decide wtf we are going to do. A lot of my friends have shitty relationships because their conversations with their girlfriends go something like this:

friend - hey baby you hungry?
gf - yes lets eat
friend - where do you want to eat?
gf - i dont know
friend - i dont know either baby you decide
gf - ummm
friend - we could go blah blah blah

It's ineffective leadership and indecisiveness - girls I have found (and not just my girlfriend but girls in general) hate that shit. They want the guy who will tell them to wear something pretty, take em out somewhere nice or cook at home, make conversation, and just generally speaking make them feel like a woman and not have to worry about anything.

I don't want to speak for all men but I will say for myself I don't want that stepford wife bullshit. Intelligent discourse and intellectual stimulation is really fucking important. My gf and I are different from most couples because we are both huge nerds and I can make her wet talking about organic chemistry and chair conformations in cyclohexanes but the idea is the same - there are three 'levels' I believe in relationships:
-intellectual
-emotional
-sexual

Both of you have to work hard to satisfy each other on all three levels. If you do that you will have a great relationship.

That said yea my girlfriend does my laundry, but I always cook so things kind of balance out.

 

I'm not a psychologist but I am really good are dealing with girls when they have issues especially since I've had to deal with the 'what's wrong-nothing' conversation more than once.

the most effective way of dealing with it is understanding what her intentions are. I feel like I can speak for most women here to solely based off my experience with my girlfriend and my other girl friends. Note the following isn't my work but it is filthy effective and has made ALL my relationships better not just the one between my girlfriend and I. Directly pasted our of my personal notes:

when a woman tells you her problem or issue, she is not looking for advice on how to fix the issue or even make herself feel better about the issue. She isn't looking for an excuse on why you didn't answer her call last night, etc., even if she literally asks "why didn't you pick up when I called you last night... blah blah blah"

This last part is hard for guys to understand and indeed it took me a lot of time and research to really get it. So while they may say they want to know what your excuse is, it is not their purpose in asking the question (at least not their main purpose). Their main purpose is two-fold: 1.) To gain confirmation that you understand her problem or issue and 2.) That you genuinely care about her feelings (doesn't mean you have to agree with them or even think they are logical). The best way to do this is by articulating what she says to you back to her (confirmation) and in a way that shows some empathy and understanding (shows you care).

 

Note that this has proven a very ineffective way of responding to a police officer's inquiry into why you are not wearing pants at the elementary school playground.