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Things I Learned From...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Jul 15, 2011.

  1. Juice

    Juice
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    It was a trend on IMDB for a while and I think people here are creative/funny enough where some great stuff would come out of it.

    Focus: Stuff you learned from a movie. Add to a current movie listed or start a new one and have others add. I'll start:

    Things I Learned From Independence Day

    1. You have to go to MIT to be a cable guy

    2. If you're not Jewish, you're not perfect.

    3. Alien motherships use QuickTime to play their skull-and cross bones impending doom messages

    4. If you can fly a crop duster, you're cleared to fly an F-18

    5. Nuke timers set for 30 seconds actually take almost a minute and a half to go off.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    Things I learned from The Godfather Trilogy:

    • If you have a skill useful to mob bosses, like being an undertaker, you can get a lot of really dirty shit done for you in exchange for some free work.
    • If you have a cake to deliver to an ailing mob boss in the hospital, do so only during daylight hours.
    • If somebody who wants to kill you says they have to go to the can, tell them they can hold it.
    • Fruit to buy at the farmer's market: everything except oranges.
    • The best way to lure a hotheaded mafia boss into a trap is to beat the shit out of his whiny sister. Being able to beat the shit out of his whiny sister is just a bonus.
    • In Italy, Thursday comes before Wednesday.
    • The best pickup line for a chick in Italy is "I have a price on my head." The best person to deliver this line to is the chick's father.
    • Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
    • Corollary to the last one: being in the mafia was a lot easier before CSI-style forensics.
    • The Vatican always keeps a large, elaborate tray of orange juice and other sweets available in case a visiting mob boss starts to go into diabetic shock.
    • There is, in fact, a circumstance in which it is acceptable to kiss your brother on the lips.
    • Despite the mafia's ruthless cunning, endless tradition, and vast resources, one weaselly Swiss-German banker can fuck up the mafia's whole day.
    • Sometimes you can fuck your way to the top, but it's not a great idea if the organization you want to get into is the mafia, and the guy at the top is your uncle.
     
  3. McSmallstuff

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    Things I learned from Who Framed Roger Rabbit:

    - Anything is possible if it's funny.
    - Sometimes The nice, funny guy does get the girl.
    - Patty cake is serious business!
    - That gorgeous creature isn't bad, she's just drawn that way. (Here's to Hooker, Pimptress, SheGirl and the rest of the TiBettes)
     
  4. lostalldoubt86

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    Lessons I've Learned from The Princess Bride:

    1. Life is pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something
    2. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles
    3. If a six-fingered man slaughters your father, commit a clever line to memory that you can whip out at a moment’s notice in the event you run into him.
    4. People who wear masks are not to be trusted
    5. If you establish a reputation properly, you don't necessarily have to live up to it. It doesn't matter if you're a dread pirate or a fire swamp.
    6. Be sure to get a detailed job description
    7. The best way to defeat your enemy is to develop a resistance to poison.
    8. Never assume someone is left-handed just because they sword fight that way
    9. There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world
    10. and of course "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"
     
  5. Juice

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    Didnt think this thread was going to go anywhere, but the only other ones I can think of are:

    Things I learned from Red Dawn

    1. When raiding a sporting goods store for supplies and weapons, always take a football.

    2. Pissing into a trucks radiator makes it work.

    3. Cubans and Russians have no issues or language barriers.

    4. Drinking a dead deers blood helps you fight Communism.

    5. Russian military officers take the Colt .45s out of dead civilians' hands and put it in their waist band with the safety off.

    6. Russian internment camp guards let wanted guerrilla resistance fighters walk up to the fence, talk to prisoners, and walk away again.

    7. "Chinamen" collectively scream.
     
  6. dixiebandit69

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    Something I have learned from almost every movie that includes police investigations:

    People in parked cars (with untinted windows, no less) are invisible.

    Just ask me how well this works in real life.
     
  7. toddamus

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    Things I learned from the Mighty Ducks

    1. Jewish kids can play goalie, albeit not very well.
    2. House league teams and AAA level teams play in the same league always.
    3. A house team, with the addition of a few players and a new coach can beat a AAA level team in the championship game provided that they try hard.
    4. Drunken, hedonistic layers have epiphanies after skating on a pond late at night.
    5. Charlie's mom is hot.
     
  8. hooker

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    Things I learned from Transformers 3:

    • Falling out of a building that has collapsed on a 45 degree angle, turns almost dying into an awesome game of slip-and-slide.
    • Find a hot assistant and kidnap her.
    • Megan Fox missed out on a fat paycheck.
     
  9. dewercs

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    Things I learned from the Usual Suspects

    1. Oswald was a fag
    2. Kip Diskin was a baritone in a barbershop quartet in skokie illinois and was very stressed in the morning
    3. There is a religious guy named John Paul
    4. It is okay to have a mans finger in your asshole on Fridays
    5. I believe and in God and the only thing I am afraid of is Keyser Soze
    6. Don't fuck with the gimp
    7. Keyser Soze is turkish
    8. Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker.
     
  10. Jimmy James

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    Things I learned from Reservoir Dogs.

    1. When it comes to shooting your way out of a botched jewel heist, killing a cop doesn't count as a person.
    2. Under no circumstances should you refer to your Christian name, where you did time, where you're from, or what jobs you pulled.
    3. Get your head examined if you go through with a heist and you aren't 100% on everybody.
    4. If you are going to be a cop, be a cop with a supervisor that wears denim vests with no shirt underneath it.
    5. Never be the getaway driver.
    6. When dealing with unruly managers, don't hesitate to break that motherfucker in two.
    7. When torturing law enforcement, play 70's pop music to cover their screams.
     
  11. lhprop1

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    Things I learned from The Big Lebowski:

    1. You don't fuck with the Jesus.
    2. Fucking a stranger in the ass will result in your Corvette getting smashed.
    3. Bowling on Saturday is a no-no.
    4. When it comes to philosophical merits, Nazis are better than nihilists.
    5. The Dude abides.
     
  12. rei

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    Something I've learned from almost any movie set in a city:
    You can always park directly outside any building you wish to go to


    Things I've learned from Star Wars:
    Poor communication kills
    Likelyhood to die in combat is proportional to the amount of armor you wear
    Heartbreak is a legitimate cause of death
    Robots incapable of more than beeps have more emotional complexity than desert bandits... or Hayden Christensen
    It's considered competent military tactics to fly around a planet to blow up a moon with your planet destroying laser, rather than just making a path.
     
  13. mazian

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    • High heels don't hinder a woman from literally running through a battlefield
     
  14. Bryan

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    Things I Learned from American Psycho:
    1. The mud soup and charcoal arugula at Texarkana are outrageous.
    2. It's not a menorah you spin--you spin a dreidel.
    3. Aftershaves with alcohol will dry your face out and make you look older.
    4. A tanning bed at home is worth looking into.
    5. "Hip to be Square" is not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends, but also a statement about the band itself.
     
  15. Nettdata

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    The most important lesson of all:

    Your business card defines you.
     
  16. Tuesday

    Tuesday
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    I learned how to spark that J




    am I doing this right?
     
    #16 Tuesday, Jul 19, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015