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There's more than one way to light a firework

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Samr, Dec 31, 2009.

  1. Samr

    Samr
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    In celebration of finally being able to shoot fireworks after the 2-year Texas Drought Hiatus, I went last night and ransacked the nearest Mr. W stand. The possibly-illegal behind the counter was going through the motions, telling us about the different varieties of explosions, how many shots each package contained, or what we could expect.

    And then the fire marshal left.

    "Now, what's fun with these guys here is when ya drop six of 'em down tha tube. Jus' tie tha fuses together and light 'em all at once."

    There was an elderly man sitting in the corner of the trailer eating a sandwich. I hadn't noticed him until he countered, "Don't need fuses when all ya gotta do is pour yer gasoline on 'em. That'll blow the fuckers better 'n shit."



    Focus: Booze and bottle rockets. We've all had experiences with fireworks, some good, some bad, some unsafe and some downright-illegal. Share your stories, or if you're like me, just brag about how awesome it is to finally be able to blow some shit up again.
     
  2. Guy Fawkes

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    When I was growing up my older cousins would bring fireworks with them when they visited. Normally we would go into the woods and blow up rotting logs and chipmunk holes with M-80s or launch bottle rockets at bee hives and bird nests with very little success.

    On one occasion my younger sister, 6 or 7 at the time ran home and ratted us out. My father and uncle came out to find us and my cousins had to stash the rest of their fireworks, lying to the parents that we had already used them all.

    When they left I went back to the woods and collected the stuff which was like finding a treasure chest back then.

    A couple bundles or bottle rockets, some larger rockets, m-80s, and regular fire crackers.

    When my parents would go to work my buddy and I would launch rockets at the neighbors house. We got smart and started using an aluminum pipe to aim the rockets so they flew a little more true. Our objective was always my neighbor's (who I disliked) bedroom window.

    When I finally ran out of bottle rockets I decided to use the big rockets which I had been too scared to use (I foolishly thought they would make the "professional" display sized explosion since I had never seen one launched). I hoisted the tube to my shoulder like an SAM launcher, took aim, had Chris load in the rocket and light the fuse.

    As usual I aimed at the screen on my neighbors window. Unlike the bottle rockets which would usually go off course after traveling 20 ft or so the big rocket went straight as an arrow, hitting and embedding itself in the window screen. As it whistled angrily, threw sparks and smoke poured out of it the smoke started going into the house. Then it exploded.

    The smoke set off the smoke alarm in the house and Chris and I ran.

    I think I ended up being grounded for a month and I had to buy the neighbors a new screen.
     
  3. aimlesspayload

    aimlesspayload
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    I've got a little experience.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/user/AimlessPayload" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/user/AimlessPayload</a>

    check out the "lampare".
     
  4. Gravitas

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    Junior year three or four of my buddies and I were put in charge of the fireworks display for our high school's Homecoming. Because I was a pussy I didn't play football so I was free at halftime to make a complete dork of myself. Being on the firework crew was like being in theater except worse because there weren't any future late-bloomer artsy girls looking to "really connect" with someone. We were just four virgins with propane torches.

    We had artillery shell tubes duct taped to boards. We had six boards in three lines with 2 tubes on each one of them. So we would all light one. Go to the next one. Light it. Repeat. The rows were maybe 6 feet apart from each other. Our best idea was to stack ammunition beside each of the tubes so we could reload them faster and provide the feel of a "professional show."

    So halftime comes and they turn the stadium lights out. The lights can't come back on for ten minutes or so because they have to be left off a certain amount of time or you risk fucking them up somehow, so we are working under a little bit of streetlight from outside of the stadium. We light the first round. No problem. Move to the second set of boards and then the third. No problem. We had 5 shells for each tube. So we were a fifth of the way there.

    Unfortunately, unbeknownst to us one of the tubes on the second board had blown it's bottom out during the first round. This wouldn't have been a huge problem except that particular board was bowed a little bit so there was a gap where a shell could rest. So the second time around instead of shooting the fucking shell skyward it just blew itself up on the ground. At this point you might remember the ammo that was stashed next to it.

    An extra ammo shell blows up on the ground.

    At this point all of us are too stupid to realize we are entering the Apocalypse Now of high school halftime firework shows.

    We all light another tube. Another shell goes off on the ground.

    I am freaking the fuck out. I am yelling (probably like a school girl) at everyone else to stop lighting shit. Now multiple shells are exploding at once right above my head and next to my feet or that's what it seems like.

    I see one of my friends jump over an exploding artillery shell and I feel like he is coming to save me. But this isn't Band of Brothers. He just got the fuck out of there.

    Some how it all stops. At least ten shells had to explode on the ground and a few felt like they exploded only 15 feet into the air. But no more are going off and I can't see anyone lighting them. This is all fine except for one thing.

    The school had just put in a few small pine trees around part of the track. Now three of them were on fire. I don't know exactly how this happened. Some people are working hard to put them out and managed to douse two, but the third lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

    The stadium lights click back on and I take stock of myself. Both arms are missing some hair. The left side of my shirt has quite a few holes in it too.

    I'm ecstatic. I made it out not only alive, but I somehow managed not to Whoopi Goldberg myself.
     
  5. Samr

    Samr
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    I am a closet pyro and a public alcoholic. The older I get, the more expendable income I have to spend on explosions, and the more alcohol my body both likes and is able to consume. So, as you might suspect, every New Years and Fourth of July I basically get really hammered and set fire to shit that goes "bang."

    I'm like a horny chick when it comes to fireworks: the bigger, the meaner, the badder, the better.

    This year I bought a ton, with the intent of getting absolutely plastered and then "creatively misreading" the directions. But, like seemingly all mischievous toys, it's the little shit that gets -- if you pardon the pun -- the biggest bang for your buck.

    I'm talking about these fuckers:

    [​IMG]

    Despite my best attempts to the contrary, the night went off without any life-threatening situations. Then the following morning, as my hungover ass was cleaning burnt cardboard remnants off the driveway, I stumbled upon an unused box of those "snap bombs" my sister had apparently purchased for the young kids.

    Not wanting to let a potential explosion (even one of that size) go to waste, I decided to conduct a bit of a science experiment on the 50-count box.

    I carefully unwrapped each and every one of those little snappers, pouring the 4-5 chemical "rocks" each contained onto a paper plate. Then, I grabbed a white sheet of leftover wrapping tissue from the holidays, cut it into about a 4" x 4" square, and combined the collection "rocks" into one massive "snap bomb."

    Then I set it on the gravel driveway and attempted to light the top of the tissue paper on fire. It was slow to take a consistent flame, so I held the aim-a-flame next to it, examining my ghetto bomb closely as if attempting to see the malfunction in this simple chemicals + paper + flame equation.

    The resulting explosion echoed across the ranch, sent gravel and unexploded ordinance/rocks into my face, and left my eardrums ringing for the next five minutes.

    It was awesome. And I recommend you try it (with, uh... adult supervision, and stuff). Cheapest, most dangerous firework bomb ever.
     
  6. Volo

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    I used to play around with those too, back when I was a wee lad. Had a good laugh one day when I stuffed a tennis ball full of them just before a street hockey match. Most kids think that slap shots are something glorious, when a wrist shot is more effective. The kids I played alongside were exactly the same. 30 seconds in, first shot of the game and *BANG!*. Hell, I was even surprised at the sound. Never did 'fess up to it though.

    I kind of wish the first shot was a wrist shot though. The look on the goalie's face would've been priceless if it went off in his mitt or against his blocker.

    FOCUS: I couldn't find a picture of it, but I remember fucking around with "Big Bangs". Aptly named, these motherfuckers could set off car alarms at reasonably close proximity. So, when we fired one off late at night and the stand toppled over just after lighting it, we were "rewarded" with a pair of car alarms going off right where the damn things exploded.
     
  7. Bundy Bear

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    Neither of these are the one I was looking for but both demonstrate your point.
     
    #7 Bundy Bear, Jan 7, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  8. wexton

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    I played with bottle rockets, roman candles, and a bunch of others as a kid.

    The two stories that stick out most. The first one, i believe it was around grade 11, my friend was drunk and dropped a fire cracker i believe, and went to look for it in the dark with a lighter ... yea that ended well.

    The second, I was in my second year of university my neighbours had bought a bunch of fireworks to entertain there kids and themselves. They were shooting off some smaller ones, then passing out roman candles, then shooting off some more. Night was going good. Then they brought out the ones that were 3-4" in diameter and about 24-30 inches long that you were supposed to put half in the ground, and have multiple charges in them. Well this was later in the night and they have been drinking for most the evening. My neighbour grabbed the firework walked out into the middle of the street, took out his lighter and proceeded to light the fuse, one minor detail he forgot to look for was which way the fireworks came out of. The first volley of fireworks shot straight down at his feet, hit the ground and each peice starts bouncing off the surrounding houses, and cause of his drunkin state he just stands there and another one hit the ground right in front of him, we have already found some cover and yelling at him to turn it the right side up, so instead he decides to start running down the middle of the street, i think there was 2-3 more blasts that were shot at the ground, then on the last one he finally gets it up right. Nice little war zone with coloured sparks hitting the houses and ducking for cover.
     
  9. scotchcrotch

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    Georgia only sells fountains, sparklers, and snakes.

     
    #9 scotchcrotch, Jan 7, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015