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The "What'd You Do Last Night" Thread

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by Supertramp, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    Let's have a thread about interesting things you did last night/last weekend. Having forty morons saying "I jerked off alone" is gonna get really repetitive.

    I'll start: I discovered the Mezcal last Friday night. It tastes like what you'd think fire would taste like. After the first set of brutal shots, my friends and I got drunk enough to not mind the taste... then we finished the 750mL bottle and went downtown. In my city we have public bikes, so in our drunken state we thought it would be wise to engage in a casual bike stroll in 0 Degree weather. I don't remember much else of the night but I do remember bumping to a local NHL star and yelling at him. Andrei Kostitsyn had NO idea what I was saying though.

    No hangover though; I highly recommend Mezcal if you can acquire it.
     
  2. MooseKnuckle

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    Not sure if this is what this thread is really intended for, or if it's actually as funny as I think it is, but I had the following conversation at the bar last night. We were discussing the swine flu vaccination for some reason.

    My buddy to a gal friend: so did you get the swine flu shot?
    gal friend: No fucking way.
    buddy: But what if you get pregnant?
    me: Then getting the swine flu will be a good thing. It's basically like getting a free abortion, right?
     
  3. mekka

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    I've already posted this, but I want to see this thread have legs. Last night I got stupid drunk at the bar I work at, because there were a bunch of James Ready girls there and beer was cheap.

    Last night, I had an exchange with a beer rep girl that went like this:
    Me - You should probably just give me a shirt.
    Her - Why should I do that?
    Me - Because then you're not going to have to describe my face to the police at any point in the near future.

    She loved it and I got her phone number after talking to her over the course of the night.

    Another exchange I had with a friend:
    Friend - They have James Ready everything here. I'm wondering if they have James Ready Plan B for if I knock up one of their beer girls.
    Me - Yeah they do, I saw it. It's the James Ready Baseball Bat.

    Woke up this morning with a bunch of James Ready merchandise. Good for me. Now, into the garbage with all of it.
     
  4. Supertramp

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    I'd really like for this thread to pick up, I know you shitheads lead fun lives.

    I used the lines the "Cheesy Pickup Line" thread had last friday; specifically the "I don't know if you can tell by looking at me, but I can run really, really fast."

    The reactions vary between disgust to shock to confusion and sometimes to laughter. I am an aspiring comedian though so if the joke failed I'd stick through with my deadpan and say that I'm a comedian.

    The best reaction was "Oh yeah? Join the track team."
     
  5. crabclaw

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    I used one of the lines from the pickup thread a couple weekends ago and it worked suprisingly well.

    Me: So I'm going to go make out over there, feel free to join in if you'd like.
    Twenty seconds later: I'm in (I love college).
    Twenty minutes later: My last memory is going to the bathroom because fellatio was offered and accepted.
    Two hours later: I wake up on the cold hard bathroom floor. Yes my pants were off. Yes I had been drawn on. No I am not missing any organs.

    I was going to put this into the "time my life hit bottom" thread but was scared off after reading the first page.
     
  6. epsilon

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    I like Mezcal. The first shot is usually pretty hard to get down, but once it's done you get used to the flavour and it actually tastes pretty good. I drank Mezcal a few times and never had a Mezcal hangover so far. There must be something in that bottle...

    Focus:
    On a more serious note, I made my first arrest last night. Assault on a law enforcement officer. I was probably more nervous than the guy I was arresting. I don't think he noticed.
     
  7. Canada_Girl

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    I was out with some girlfriends at a Seattle lounge this weekend. We were just a little tipsy and talking amongst ourselves and whatnot. Out of nowhere, a six foot two guy came up behind me, put his arm around my neck and used his other hand to put a napkin over my mouth. He was pretending to drug me with chloroform. What the fuck.
     
  8. kuhjäger

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    Sorry about that. I forgot to soak the rag.

    Again.
     
  9. Mexicutioner

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    Last night I watched Victor Ortiz' fight with Marcos Maidana from June of this year. The twist was that I was watching it with Ortiz and his family. For those who don't follow boxing [re: everyone], Ortiz was blitzed by Maidana after Ortiz had his opponent down three times in the fight. After the fight he sounded mentally destroyed, offering the words "I don't deserve to be beaten up like that" as a response. Not exactly boxing fans want to hear from their favorite fighters, which may be a bit unfair and unrealistic but its the image. Everyone is expected to live up to the heart and willpower that guys like Arturo Gatti and Diego Corrales had. If you didn't, then you were considered a pussy [by casual fans].

    I don't think Ortiz is strong enough mentally to overcome this loss, and I wanted to write something about it so I got in touch with Ortiz' camp and asked them if they would like to participate and help prove to me that they are over the loss and they have moved on. They told me they think it will make him an even better fighter. Ortiz' manager told me they would like to sit down with me and watch the tape of the fight. I thought it was an interesting idea so I agreed. It was difficult, but I tried to watch Ortiz watch himself get hurt on screen. When I asked him about his postfight interview comments, he told me straight up he was just in a daze and hazy and he just wanted to give his opponent his due credit. I give him credit for that much.

    I am not one to go and call someone mentally unfit to be a boxer, because what do I know really? But I am just of the belief that he doesn't have what it takes to be a top fighter in the sport. He has all the physical ability in the world but I just don't see him being smart enough and resilient enough. He hit his first string of adversity and, in many people's eyes, gave up.

    Anyways, I don't know how I got so off track there, but last night I watched tape with an athlet who suffered a crushing knockout defeat in the tape. Weird.
     
  10. Kratos

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    Rock Bottom? I'd say you're right at the top, bud.

    I went back to a primarily college bar last Thursday night, on college ID night, for the first time since I left college ( I am now 25 and I still had my college ID). I really wish I could go back.

    [*]A girl pass out while making out with a guy on the dancefloor.
    [*]Girl show her tits for a $2 tall boy of Bud Light
    [*]My friend drop his entire Jack and Coke all over the floor, shattering the glass. Rather than being kicked out, he was given a shot of gin by the bartender.
    [*]Me telling a girl that if she wanted to talk to us she "would have to lose at least one article of clothing". She didn't like that but her friend complied.
    [*]Another friend use the pickup line, "I wouldn't stand there, I just farted where you are. Come over here and talk to me to get away from the smell." It somehow worked.
    [*]Dead Nazis could be the most destructive shot known to man.

    I woke up with at 6:45 am with a sandwich in my hand, mustard all over my undershirt and sheets, and having to be at work at 7:00 am.
     
  11. Supertramp

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    We're in the car, my friend Sam, is riding shotgun and he's drunk out of his mind. At a stop light he notices a bright yellow convertible driven by (you guess it) and old guy and his younger wife. Sam yells out "Hey man... nice car." The guy nods back curtly, then Sam looks around at us and turns to the driver again and says "Hey man... nice wife." The guy looks at him for a second with a shocked look and then laughs and waves.

    That same friend gets even more drunk and picks a fight with some guidos outside of a club. He is pretty large and plays rugby so he never backs down, this was the first time that he picked a fight though. He goes to a guido and loudly proclaims "You're pretty cute for a gay guy". That guido's self-control snapped, he was about to destroy Sam before he noticed that Sam had a solid 30 pounds on him. It was hilarious seeing a guy's self-esteem get crushed. Sam didn't stop there, he grabs the guido and says "Let's hug it out, it's okay I don't mind gay guys" and bear-hugs the guy, in front of all the girls he was trying to flirt up no less.

    He went to catholic school, was an alterboy and is a complete nice-guy. Except when playing Rugby and/or under the influence of Gin.
     
  12. Supertramp

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    Are you guys serious? No one has a funny story to share from a halloween party?

    Last night my friend and I went by a med-school party, the party was finished by 1:30 and everyone was leaving by the time we got there. I'm not kidding when I say there were at least 13 Dr. Houses.
     
  13. Nettdata

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    Fuck House... post the pics of the hot 13's making out.
     
  14. adamL

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    Last Sunday I went to the bar a town over from me to watch my Bears play the Bengals, I went with a friend who is a Saints fan so he was watching the Saints v Dolphins game. About half time we decide that Jameson shots would go well with our multiple beers. I end up exchanging verbal barbs with a random Bengals fan and my friend is yelling WHO DAT at every person in the bar...Our friend who is the bartender says he have to go. Then I Black Out

    I wake up at 4AM with some old cop asking me if I am sober enough to leave..freaked the hell out I say I am I sign for my belt, shoes and jacket realizing I don't have my cell phone, wallet, keys etc...The Cop explains to me that the officer who brought me in has those items at his home station. I realize I am now 2 towns over from where I live somehow, they let me go. I start to walk.....I walk 12 miles until a random girl who knows me asks what the hell I am doing walking in the middle of nothing at 9:00 AM...I get a ride home and pass out.

    At 11AM my buddy the Saints fan runs in and asks what the fuck happened last night I tell him I don't know we spend the rest of the day piecing together our night.

    - I must have driven back from the bar and got us home safely somehow amazingly enough as his car seat was suited for someone my height

    - His roommate who was with his girlfriend saw us come back to the apt and proceed to destroy the kitchen by throwing bottles and smashing tables and throwing trash around the apt this was done while yelling WHO DAT and DAAAA BEARS. This roommate decided it was a good idea to stay at his GF's for the night so he leaves.

    -My saints friend remembers talking to the cop after the neighbors called and talking to him wearing nothing but a saints jersey saying he has no idea what happened to his apt even thou he did it himself

    -I went to the police station and got back my stuff along with 2 PBR cans I did not know I had (at least my black out drunk self has enough sense to buy more beer)

    - We still really don't know how I ended up 2 towns away in a drunk tank but we think that the cop saw me trying to walk home, realized I was in no condition to answer questions and since this town was small the nearest drunk tank was 2 towns away.

    I am a true Bears fan it hurts sometimes
     
  15. Supertramp

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    Do you think there are any hot girls in Med School? The next time I went to a party hosted by the Anatomy department, much better crowd. It just goes to show: The easier the program the hotter the girls.
     
  16. guernica

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    I had a buck's party at the casino Saturday Night. After 8 hours of drinking I decided it would be a good idea to join the $100 blackjack table.

    I was on it for at least half an hour, and often played $400 hands (which is about a weeks work). Somehow I went from no money to $1000+. One of the few times irrational drunk gambling-related decision making paid off. I was quite happy.
     
  17. Nate17

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    I remember my 1st time. Simple warrant, but it is a sureal feeling when you get your cherry popped wearing blue. Wait till your 1st time tasing a person. Awesome!
     
  18. Moose

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    I went to Albany to see moe. for Halloween. The ride out and the pre-game was pretty tame. I got to meet Suke Cerulo (Lynch, Schleigho) at a cafe across from the Washington Avenue Armory before moe.'s show (Lynch was playing an aftershow in town). Highlights from the trip include

    *riding home in the back of a Dodge Durango, with 6 other people in the car. By back, I mean rear hatch. With another person. I'm 6'4" and no one will ever mistake me for skinny.
    *Our driver doing 55 mph down the center line on a curvy, winding, dark, 35pmh road. I was legitimately afraid at that point, but the booze made it tolerable.
    *Upon arrival at the farm, we pass the driveway. The driver decided he wanted to go bombing around the back fields (300+ acres) chasing deer. At 2am. It had rained all day, and these fields were far from level, so that was a fuckin' blast.
    *What seemed like an endless Volcano session. I love those things.

    Finally got to bed around 6:30am, woke up around 11, hit the volcano some more, and drove home. Night well spent
     
  19. Racer-X

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    I was the only Dr. House at the bar. I spent most of my time trying to get hot nurses to "assist" me.
    I also learned an important lesson: cops at the bar don't think it's that funny when some drunk dude repeatedly asks what they're supposed to be. I'm surprised I didn't get arrested.
     
  20. DrunkenCokeHead

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    -Got home at 7am Saturday CET.
    -My night included charcters called Little Stuie, Psycho Dave etc.
    -Bar closed....can't/won't remember, next bar.
    -Football hooligans....many shoots of I think JD??? Possible use of certain stimulants, pretty sure.
    -Some OZzie chick, psych major, analyzing me. She's gonna need theraphy after that chat.
    -Angry black guy with dreads flashing a dinky toy of a .22 in my face. No idea why. Could have deserved it???
    -Some mantle Irish chick wanting to fight me, as in let's go outside fist fight. Fucking wierdo, she get's trown out by security, I continue drinking.
    -------------------------------------------------------

    15:25pm Saturday CET

    -Woke up, wished I didn't.
    -2xHeineken 0.5l, breakfast.


    19:58pm CET still Saturday

    HELP ME JEBUS!

    BTW innlaws coming for dinner tomorrow.