After viewing the latest Jersey Shore I was strongly reminded of how closely my old roommates' long-term relationship resembled that of Ronn and Sammi. They went out for 3-4 years and probably the first 3 months were the only ones not spent in fight mode or in some Philip K. Dick mindfuck movie on relationships. They'd fight until they fucked, fuck until they fought. Take little separations and then openly "cheat" on each other until one of them caved and demanded they get back together. On one of their bigger "breakups" she moved home and he was crushed, had to be on sleeping pills, and his Mom contacted mine too see if he was really OK. My other roommates and I had to have a fucking bro talk with him about it; they got back together. Then, when one of them was out of town they'd fuck who ever they'd had their eye on at work/the bar. This lasted until the last house I lived in with him. He finally found a girl he was willing to break up with his girlfriend to be with. His long term girl had basically been living at our house so there was the inevitable confrontation when she came to get her shit. There was screaming and shouting, stuff was thrown out of the front door, and me and my other roommate had to get in between them when the shoving started. There was a nice piece of cracked drywall and I got too see her tits one last time when her tube top slipped off. Later, after he had broken up with the next girlfriend, she came by every now and then too fuck him. She's now engaged to someone else and has just had her second kid with her fianceé. My roommate assured me that he'd just need to dial her number to get another go in the sheets. Honestly, I don't think Ive ever been "in love." I've been hardcore infatuated/smitten/head-over-heels for some girls but never long enough for that type of shit. Most of the time if I'm seeing a girl and there is too much friction I just cut it off. Maybe I've built a nice cold shell around my heart but I couldn't ever handle some stupid shit like what my roommate did, no matter how loopy I was for a girl. FOCUS: In the spirit of the holiday, what's the most toxic relationship you have ever been witness to? Were you a participant? Like Martin Lawrence, did you drive to the club in your PJs and timb (sic) boots to pick up your girl?
It's Valentine's Day, let's talk about the bad relationships we know! I myself am in the world's most functional relationship, so I wouldn't know anything about it. The last few have been mostly functional, but I have learned there is a world of difference between mostly and completely...
From an older post: Other indicators that they were toxic: They started out when he had a girlfriend and she was his on the side. She fucked him up the ass with a strap-on, which he begged her to do. A few weeks later, he beat the shit out of her because she told her best friend about the experience She got one of our roommates (who was an RA at the time) kicked out of our apartment because the RA roommate didn't like the guy, and told her he was toxic He stayed with us for two weeks once, and she had to make sure to wake up before him every morning so she could make him breakfast before going to class. He didn't leave the apartment for the entire week except to go out to the bar, where she would have to buy all his drinks.
So he lived in the male fantasy Bizzaro world huh? (except for the butt sex) But in all seriousness, as much as "crazy" girls with "daddy issues" get a horrible wrap, Ive seen dudes do equally fucked up psycho stuff with girls they "love." I went out with a girl once that had a psycho baby daddy who she finally dumped when she started hanging out with me. He'd drive by our work every few hours to see if she was there (this was a late night restaurant that was open until 4 am). If she was on break or he couldnt see her from the street as he drove by he'd start in with the calls and text. If he was watching their kid when this happened and she didnt answer he'd dump the baby off on her parents and flip shit. He would pull the drive by stunt any time she was going out with her sister or her friends. It came to a head one day when her and some of my friends were going to a swimming pool and he "happened" to drive by them on the way there. At a stop light he hopped out of his car and tried to grab the baby's car seat through the window. My friends jumped out and he ran back to his car. He decided to chase them as they drove to the police station to file a police report. Though he seemed to give up after that she refused to press charges or file a restraining order.
I have had two relationships in the past thirteen years. Thirteen years ago, I dated a horrid shrew who I hope met her end via Transport truck grill. She was horribly jealous, which is the very trait I hate most of all. Jealousy is for simple minded, weak people and anybody consumed by it should be ashamed of themselves. She was also horribly violent, climaxing or torrid love affair by shoving me backwards down a full flight of duplex stairs. It ended that day thank Christ. At first, I liked her. But I was younger and naive, and stayed with her for several months after I was clearly unhappy. Ending that shithole chapter in my life was one of the greatest days of my life, and I stayed single for four years afterwards, voluntarily.
My wife's friend can really pick winners, and we disagree on who is the toxic person in her relationships. Mrs. Jones and I got engaged in April 2000. Shortly thereafter, her friend went out one night and got pregnant (courtesy of a one night stand with a guy she met that night). Cue a large wedding six months later ($15k spent by her parents at least). The baby pops out, and, unfortunately, so do all of her husbands traits she was not aware of. He couldn't hold down a job, but was a raging alchoholic and gambler. We found pictures of them all over town in businesses no longer accepting checks from the couple. Instead of kicking him to the curb, she goes out to the same bar and meets another guy. She ends up pregnant again (on this one night stand), and he gets a DUI. To cultivate the relationship, he gets his house arrest at HER address. She and he confronted the (soon to be ex) husband with this information while the cops are there setting up his bracelet. The husband moves out She gets divorced, and has the second baby. Mrs. Jones and I got married 10 days later. Her new boyfriend turns out to be quite the catch as well. He is an even bigger alcoholic, and has a felony conviction and IRS issues as well. He also likes the horsies. But, he brings something new to the table: he beats the shit out of her. So, she stays with this guy (and has yet another baby) until last year (despite trying to cheat on him several times). He gets another DUI, but this time the guy has the 3 kids in the backseat when it happens. He gets 30 days in jail. The first night in jail, she leaves her kids (the oldest is 9) home alone to go to the bar. She hooks up with another guy. She begins fucking him, and introduces him to her kids. They live a nice happy life for 28 days (fucking a few other guys on top of this new-new guy and including the married neighbor). Then, on the day her man is supposed to get out of jail, she files a restraining order on him. He gets out, goes crazy, and kills himself. She goes to the funeral and plays grieving spouse (talking about seeing him again in Heaven privately to me and my wife), but doesn't reveal that the previous few days were spent on a family vacation with her new boyfriend (who had already moved in). Luckily, we are taught to spay and neuter our pets. I only wish we caught this one early...
I've seen a number of toxic relationships, but I thought this level of crazy was an urban legend before I encountered my old coworker's relationship. When I came into the picture, they had recently broken up. This was when I was in school in Boston, and she lived in New York. All I heard was that she was crazy. Then, a few months after I started working there and I had stopped hearing about her, she pops into the picture again because - surprise! - she's pregnant. And then she's not pregnant. She was just kidding. But then she really is pregnant. But she's not going to send him a picture of her pregnant stomach. Oops she had a miscarriage. I mean an abortion. I mean an miscarriage. Oh no. She was just kidding. She really is pregnant. With twins. No. She won't send a photo. Oh never mind. It's just one baby. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course the baby's yours! Oh wait it is twins. Oh no. Just one baby. I never said I was having twins! What are you talking about? I'm not actually pregnant. Look! Here's the baby! Isn't she cute? She looks just like you! I couldn't believe my coworker was just letting himself get strung along like this. He was so. excited. to have a baby girl and kept showing off the pictures and saying how much she did look like him. (I couldn't really tell. All babies look the same to me.) Nothing really added up and it was so obvious to everyone but the guy that this bitch was so clearly lying about something, if not everything. There is not a doubt in my mind that that baby wasn't his. (Hopefully all those double negatives worked out the way I wanted them.) I'm not even convinced she was ever pregnant. I wouldn't be surprised if she was just sending him pictures of her friend's baby or just some baby she took a picture of on the street. She wouldn't let him come visit (but was of course demanding he send her money) and was arranging a visit for the baby to stay with him for a few weeks right as our store was closing but I don't think that ever happened. It was such a shit show.
The most toxic relationship I've ever seen is the one between my best friend's parents. They have been married for 25 years and his dad has been having an affair for a year and a half with one of his nurses. His dad is a doctor and his mom was a receptionist at his practice. When his mom found out, she told him that either he fired the nurse or she was quitting. He didn't fire the nurse and she got a different job. They are only staying together until their youngest son graduates high school in May and have Ronnie and Sammi type fights on a daily basis. My mom and his mom are good friends and his dad has banned his mom from talking to my mom or any of her friends. She has developed a drinking problem and his dad is still fucking the nurse. No one in their extended family knows about it but everyone in the small town in which they live knows the whole story.
Oh the joys of being in a fraternity... Pretty much every weekend one of my roommates will be in some convoluted, he-fucked-she-fucked-I-love-you-now-I-hate-you clusterfuck of mixed up drunken emotion. The worst was a self-destructive couple whose escalating fight than make up sessions led to the girl pressing assault charges on my roommate. There were a couple of light bruises on her back; he says he didn't; she says he did. She tried to get him kicked out of the university. Honestly I have no idea whether he hit her or not... it could've happpened. But I did see her hit him in the face multiple times, and also had to physically drag her out of the house while she screamed "your parents don't love you." (Of course he has parental issues). It was fucked up. They got off on causing each other pain. Now he's still here and she stalks him around to whatever bar he goes to and just stares at him. He can't confront her at all and basically just has to man up and walk away... and she'll just follow him.
My last relationship was toxic, but for the opposite reasons of these other examples. On the surface we got along great, had the same interests and hobbies (both gamers, endlessly quoted Star Wars and Futurama, and other things that seem really important at 21 but in the end don't matter as much) but she was black vortex of self esteem. Every day she would make some backhanded remark, or be upset if I wanted to do anything ever but focus on her 100%. The worst was that anytime we fought, she would backpeddle and apologize and seem genuinely like she wanted to change. After a year and a half, with a few months break in between two separate stints, I finally realized her depression was a constant thing, and that it was used to keep my strung along whenever she needed support, but magically disappeared when she didn't. I cut off all communication, she fucked her way across town, and after telling me she'd never be ready for a relationship for years (and chastising me for casually dating one person, several months after we broke up, after she had fucked minimum 2 guys since), she's now got a new boyfriend and has totally gotten over/forgotten me. Enjoy your life!
My favorite is the guy who I dated for months who said he loved me and never felt that way about a girl before. After months of dating, sleeping together, and dropping the L word (he said it first), I started hearing rumors that he was cheating on me. After confronting him, he denied talking to other girls and told me that I was being a bitch. He claimed that I "always saw the worst in him" even though I defended him when people hinted around his cheating evidence. After a while, he finally admitted to hooking up with other girls. "I never said I wanted a girlfriend. I thought we were just fucking around." Yes. Because fucking around entails meeting my family when they're in town and proclaiming your love to anyone who will listen. That was the most toxic relationship I've had. I'm much more wise now. I would never put up with an ounce of that bullshit today. I think he's still just a dyslexic pothead waiting tables in midtown Atlanta and doing absolutely nothing with his life. Being an asshole to me is the best thing he could've done, because I dropped him like third period French and never looked back.
For years she would tell me that she was going to show me her boobs, and then she didn't show me her boobs. I wandered for forty years in a boobless desert, cursed by God and man to a damnable existence.