Agreed. Although there is one thing better than going to a strip club to feel better about yourself. Living with a stripper. Hearing her stories about drunk perverts and getting hurt on the job made me feel SO good about myself. If guys knew how much blood and bruising goes into being a stripper, the titty bars would be empty.
Titty bars suck. Let me explain to you why: If prostitution was legal, would YOU go to a titty bar? Or would you go to a brothel? Thought so. Besides, what are you actually paying for? A hooker that won't let you fuck her? Who in the fuck thought this up? Why would you do that? Did sluts just suddenly dry up like factory jobs? These places baffle me.
I worked as a bouncer in a strip club. There is no place of business on the face of this earth where the staff have more utter contempt for one other. Strippers are competition for each other, and they HATE each other. Plus, many of them (almost all) are owned in some way by bikers (whether they be classy or a shithole), so if you go to one there is about an 80% chance you are shoving money straight into the pocket of a crude, snivelling, murdering white slave owner. Swish that around in your mouth and tell me how it tastes. They can be fun if you're 19, I remember them being fun. However, keep in mind they are Fantasyland. Strippers are professional liars (I call them "Imagineers") and NOTHING they say can be taken with trust. So many shallow guys (usually dorks and/or virgins) known as a "Chippy" fall in love with them, dropping thousands of their own hard-earned dollars and getting nothing but whispered promises in the end. Goodbye.
I always feel awkward in them. It was made more so the time that I was hanging out with some guys, one of whom was a regular poster on the old board, and to keep the strippers from talking to us told them that we were teh ghey. But, Jägerette, our female house mate, and one of their girlfriends and a couple of my friends are going over to San Jose, renting a suite, and hitting up every titty bar we can find.
I don't mind going to the stip club once and a while. Actually when a good friend still lived in town that is where we would usually go and get a couple drinks. Booze + Tits + usually good metal = good time. We would get dances every few times we would go. I have a couple of friends who, if they went to the stip club, their wives would kill them! This always confused me. The stip club is the safest place. The only thing they are going to get there is a case of blue balls. Does it really hurt your feelings that he's looking at someone elses tits? I hear you talking about another guy and and how hot he is you hypocrite!
I always hold the contention that strip clubs suck. Most of all I just hate spending the money for nothing. Two to three hundred dollars for blue balls? But whenever there's a celebration that calls for one, I've never not had a good time. I think they're just OK in moderation. If the stripper knows you by name, it's time to fucking take a break. But once in a while on a Friday or Saturday night is no big deal. I always have to set aside the amount of money I want to spend before I walk inside. If I walk in with 300, I'm spending 300. If I walk in with 30,000 I'm spending 30,000. Pathetic? Yes....
Someone says "Hey, let's go to the strip bar" and I hear "Hey, let's go pay 5 times more than normal to get drunk. And while we're doing that we can pay girls to rub on our dicks for 3 minutes. You'll need at least $300 tonight so you can buy $10 beers and pay some chick to get naked, rub all over you, but not fuck you." Yeah, sounds like a great fucking night... I'm only going to those places if it's a bachelor party type thing and/or there's a cool group of people going with me. Girls tend to have more fun at those places than guys do anyway.
Now that I think of it, going to a strip club is a lot like getting a bunch of your high school buddies together to watch late night Cinemax in your basement, except you're all paying tons of money for it. You're not interacting with the strippers on a personal level, none of you are getting laid and all of you have blue balls because it would be awkward to whip it out and take care of yourself.
This thread has pointed out an interesting question to me. If strip clubs are so despised, how are they still functional? Is there really a tiny percentage of men willing to pay for this, or are 70% of the men here lying? I honestly can't deal with the strip club bullshit more often than (like I said) every 2 - 3 years, but I'm willing to bet that 40% of men are all sorts of into it. If they weren't, there'd be no business.
To answer that question, just go to your nearest jiggly bar and scan the room. They seem despised on THIS BOARD. Most people on here are of a higher station than your average strip club patron. That usually consists of: 35 year old virgins, out-of-town truckers, rich Asian businessmen, first-timer college students and finally pitiful losers who have no where else to drink so they may as well see tits while doing it. Like cemetaries and hospitals, society will always require them. Without lapdances, a large percentage of the sad male population may as well throw themselves into the sea.
Yes, it's a relatively small percentage. But it's more than enough when one considers how much the patrons are spending. The vast majority of businesses thrive with a small fraction of all their potential consumers. Focus- I'm a bit neurotic about being used by other people. (men as well as women) If I feel someone is sucking up for a favor, wants me to buy them something, and they're not someone I consider a friend, my reaction ranges from extreme dissatisfaction and eternal scorn for that person to a powerful desire to inflict bodily harm. You can imagine what a trip to the strip club to pay those nasty, skinny leeches along with their large, leeching overseers would do to me.
I live in Atlanta, which besides Vegas, is the mecca of strip clubs. People in this thread have asked how they survive. I tell you the biggest reason; expense accounts. I cannot even count the number of customers, in Georgia and from around the country, that want to end the evening at a strip club. For some reason, even the most vanilla grown men, love that shit. It's like a hall pass once they're away from their wives/girlfriends. When I lived in Dallas it was even worse because you can get them ANYTHING they request at some of the clubs there. So, I think a huge part of the clientele at these places is business people giving their customers what they want. Personally, strip clubs get boring, but there was this one girl that really loved me for who I was...no really. I swear.
I tend to become intolerant pretty quickly of crowds of people. Being constantly bumped into in a club by some sweaty fuckstain fucks up my buzz, so I tend to avoid it. When I was younger, I thought that strip clubs would be a good alternative to that. Pricier drinks versus less people overall and more orderly conduct thanks to more doting bouncers. Add titties on display and I was sold. Until I found out that constant harassment from strippers who can't take no for an answer pisses me off more than the sweaty fuckstains in the regular club. At one strip joint, there was a girl who would just walk up, grab me by the wrist and try to drag me out to the private show room without even talking to me. She seemed shocked and I nearly got trashed by security when I wrenched my hand back and told her in no uncertain terms to fuck off. She had shithouse bolt-ons anyway. Now I avoid the places altogether, unless I'm going with a female. It's awesome and changes the whole dynamic. And you that because they're still a bit of a rarity, the strippers give them all the attention.
I'm pretty sure I posted this here right after it happened. But I can't find it, so here is my worst strip club experience ever: I was at a strip club about 3 or 4 months ago and saw one of the most disgusting things ever: Five minutes before that particular girl got on stage the DJ called out for "DOLLAR DANCES LET"S GET WHACKY!!!" or whatever horseshit those illiterate toothless fuckers scream into your ear in between snorting lines of meth and scratching their nutsacks. Dollar dances is where all the stripper in the club line up like cattle and go to each guy sitting down and bounce up and down on their lap in an orderly line for a dollar. After it was over the last stripper in line got on stage to do her three song set. and lemmetellyou she was last for a reason. First of all, her tits were too different sizes and she had this big scar down her back. She was also so fucking high and drunk she could barely walk and started her first song late. However, I actually found this to be quite entertaining. Perhaps she was the most entertaining stripper of the night. She was definitely the most pathetic/hilarious. At some point during the song she crawled over to me much in the same way a homeless man looking for scraps on side of a dumpster would, looking for a dollar. That, my friends was when I saw the most disgusting thing in my whole life. I gave her the dollar and she promptly turned around (so her ass was facing me), pulled her thong to the side and wiped her ass with my dollar bill. Aside from all that HER FUCKING ASS WAS HAIRY! I don't know if she thought no one would notice because she was black, but I sure did. I just stood there in shock and completely numb to all my surrounding. I couldn't believe what I just saw. She then, with the same fucking hand proceeded to grab my wrist. No way was she touching me with that thing! I ran right for the door, not even grabbing my jacket. My friends came out a minute later laughing their asses off with my jacket as I was dry heaving in the parking lot. I will never go back to that club. I repressed most of that memory until now. It's just another reason why strip clubs are so great. I mean, fuck, wipe your ass before you get on stage! I find it very hard to believe there is some asshole out there that thinks that is a turn on. If I had to guess, I think that girl is probably dead now. In face she probably died before that week was over.
Too much of a good thing can always turn shitty 1.) I have never walked into a strip club without a decent buzz on, get fucked up buy your overpriced drink and sip and enjoy the boobs 2.) In my experience shitty little towns or dumpy cities have as you would have to expect have shitty strippers and ugly women working and try to milk every dollar out of you. Vegas WELL worth the experience same with Montreal I would say. I guess I don't hate them, I just have to been in the right mood for them, night before heading out to deployment while most soliders are spending time with family and loved ones = priceless. Myself and another solider got shitfaced and headed out to enjoy the most tit's we could see in one night.
Melbourne has its fair share of stripclubs , yet I haven't been for some 5 years or so. I used to go from time to time , but now will only go if there is "bucks night" (or stag night for you Americans). I just no longer see the point of having to hand over my hard earned $$$ to some mercenary bitch to see what I can't touch or have. If I'm going to do that , I may as well ask a woman out , spend some money on her and at least have a chance of fucking her at some stage.
I've been to a couple of strip clubs on Australia's Gold Coast (think Miami but more Asians) The first time it felt a little risqué and interesting to start with and my Lord, do I have some respect for the strength and agility of those girls on the pole. However after an hour there, I was bored and had instigated a game of "pubes or no-pubes" where, believe it or not, you had to guess if she had pubes before she took her sparkly g-string off. Pros - titties! Cons - all those titties start to look the same after a while...
They used to be better. Years ago they were all pulling off illegal stuff and running the risk of getting slapped with a fine for showing too much. At one stage, Players employed a lawyer to be on premises Friday and Saturday nights just in case they got raided. Cushy job, all the titties you could stare at, but zero drinks.
I don't go to titty bars very often (maybe once every couple years), but when I do, I like making a trip down to Iowa. There's a place in Des Moines called the Lumber Yard that me and a few friends go to every couple of years. It's full nude, $15 cover, bring your own beer, and they employ some nice looking girls. If you get a lap dance and don't touch the girl she'll grab your hands and put them on her tits. As long as you're not touching her vag, you can feel her up like a dirty old man if you really want to. They usually put on a good show as well. One time we were there, there was a group of girls across from us celebrating their friend's 21'st birthday. There were two girls dancing on the stage, and when they heard it was her birthday, they drug her up on stage (birthday girl was fucking hot, by the way, as were the strippers). One stripper pulled her shirt up and started licking her tits, while the other stripper pulled her pants and underwear around her ankles and went to work on her lady parts. They then laid her down on the stage, and stripper #1 started sixty-nining the birthday girl, while stripper #2 got on top of stripper #1 and started licking her box. You could hear everyone's jaw in the whole fucking place hit the floor. It's right up there on the list of coolest things I've ever seen. Another time, my buddy and I were sitting by one of the stages and he set a dollar out for the girl that was dancing. She grabbed the dollar and threw it behind her, then laid down in front of him and started fingering herself. She then leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. Whatever she said gave him a look of astonishment, but he shook his head no and she moved on. As soon as she was gone I asked him what she said. "She asked me if I could see her tampon. I said no, and she said 'Oh good, I've been trying to keep it pushed in all night'". Beer instantly came out my nose. One of the most disgusting-yet-hilarious things I've ever heard.