I recently got around to watching the Ricki Lake doc, "The Business of Being Born". I think that any woman who plans on having children should watch it. It was so informative and showed the ugly truths of hospital births. I don't mean that in a "every woman who watches this will choose to have an at-home birth with a mid-wife" way. I mean it in a "wow, most women probably have no idea how unnecessary and dangerous some of these hospital procedures have made childbirth, and they need to have this info before making a birth plan" way. The U.S. has one of the highest mortality rates during childbirth of both mothers and babies. That's appalling. The idea of automatically pushing Pitocin, epidurals, planning C-sections and inducing labor for the majority of births is repulsive to me. Some mothers need and/or prefer these things, but why have they almost become standard procedure? It's all about getting mothers and babies in and out as quickly as possible. Some of these labor-inducing drugs have been found to have negative effects on the baby. Plus, if the mother is on analgesics, there's no way she knows when it's time to push. She's relying on a doctor with a monitor to tell her what to do. It seems like that's dampening what should be a beautiful and empowering experience. I have a few friends who planned on giving birth naturally without an epidermal. They informed their doctors about their wishes, but when it came time to deliver they really felt pressured to take Pitocin and get an epidermal. A husband or family member had to intervene and insist on sticking to the parents' plan. Also, I think episiotomies are out-dated and unnecessary. I have an interest in specializing in women's health. After spending a great deal of time working with specialists and with women who have pelvic floor issues, I'm really passionate about this topic. It's much more common than people think because nobody wants to talk about it. I think that episiotomies are one of the main causes of these problems. They can, and frequently, have negative outcomes with little evidence to support their use. These are the things I don't like about Western medicine. I think that if I choose to have a baby I want it to be as natural as possible at a birthing center. I want to have a mid-wife, but I want to be near a physician in case something goes wrong. I'm not a mom, so maybe my thoughts don't carry much weight, but I think that very few births actually require medical intervention. OBs are surgeons who are there for the birth in case something goes wrong. That's awesome, but it seems like the birthing specialists, doulas and mid-wives, have been pushed out of the picture to our overall detriment. Obviously, something needs to change if we have some of the worst mortality rates in the world and women are feeling disappointed in their experiences. **This long-ass paragraph pains me to read. I can't hit "return" on this keyboard, so paragraphs are not an option. Sorry if you actually read this.
Poor narrative on my part. Those two headings ("What I'm Seeing" / "Quotes") are both from the show I was watching. FANTASTIC POINT. Here's a documentary that examines that very subject...very touching, with a eye-opening view on the subject of death. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.nfb.ca/film/griefwalker" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.nfb.ca/film/griefwalker</a> I agree with you 100% on your point that the birth process is simply mirroring what's happening in society as a whole. There is a total detachment in virtually every aspect of life; when was the last time you saw someone in public who was standing still and NOT 1. On their smartphone, 2. Listening to .mp3s, 3. Talking on a bluetooth. Totally removed from the physical environment they're actually in. Who does this benefit? I would argue nobody. Not the mother, not the baby. I don't think it's medically safer, so it begs the question...why are we doing it? I don't mean that in an accusatory way; I'm honestly curious if anyone has any ideas about why, collectively, we seem to be making poor choices about how we live our lives. ...and with that, I think I've asked the most esoteric question yet on this board. Job well done!
I watched the Ricki Lake documentary for a Human Development class, and in doing my research, the biggest thing I discovered was how difficult it is to get your insurance to cover home birth. On the other hand, it's less expensive to pay out-of-pocket for the home birth than the percentage of money you have to pay once the insurance goes through. I'm not sure if that's true for everyone, because the research I found were bias to home birth. I also found that you can find a doctor who may be willing to let you give birth on your feet, which makes a lot of sense when you think about gravity. There is quite a lot of information about designing a birthing plan out there.
Lelo everything is AMAZING. I have that exact vibe, it is fantastic. It's quiet, powerful, rechargeable and holds a charge forever, easily cleaned, can't say enough good things about it. I have never used anything made by them that I have not given rave reviews. Summary: BUY IMMEDIATELY
Wait...what? I have one of those hollow plastic ball thingies that I stuff my bra into and then toss it in the wash on the "handwash" setting. I hang it from a doorknob to dry it. Am I killing my bras? Holy shit, I thought I was using proper bra maintenance. Honestly, I thought the culprit behind my saggy cups was The Dude because he always shoves his hands in there. I didn't even consider that I might be the problem.
Personally I found the most amusing way for my other half to wear my bra was to put it on his head and snap on my green chemistry goggles.
Try Soma Intimates. Comparable in price to Victoria's Secret but they actually last a really long time. I've got some girls on me and these Ds stay right where they're supposed to be in these bras. There are a ton of styles so you can pretty much find whatever you need. There's even a bra that has sheer lace straight across so that you don't have to wear a cami under a low-cut dress or top. Love it. As a side note, Soma has some really cute and comfy dresses as well...my closet is full of them. Just a tidbit for the tibettes: By the way, to all my girls who, like me, live in flip flops in the summer, Sanuk (a company that I've raved about before) just came out with Yoga Mat Wedge flippers! Two inches, super cute, and gives you the little boost of height with a ton of comfort. And they're called Yoga Mats because they're literally made of yoga mat material. Squishes to your feet, doesn't slip, treated with anti-bacterial stuff so they don't start to smell, and still gives support. Love me some good summer footwear. Makes up for the hell my feet go through stuffing them into heeled boots all winter.* *Woe is me moment: I've been wearing the same flats and sneakers for two months now. Nothing worse than a cute outfit and having the choice of black flats or running shoes. Awful.
WEDGES YOU SAY? I purchased the Sanuk flip flops based on your recommendation last year. Loved them so much my husband even got a pair to see what the fuss was all about. Now I must have these wedges! It is first thing in the morning and far too early for me to formulate a coherent thought, but here is my initial response regarding the pregnancy/delivery debate. The women's unit of any hospital is the cash cow, so, fiscally, they want to keep those women as happy as possible. Unfortunately for lots and lots of women, that means scheduled deliveries (in fitting with their booked to the minute lives) and lots of drugs (in fitting with their overly detached lives that somebody pointed outs). If the hospital isn't willing to do this, then the one down the street certainly will be. If women choose to have a birth at home, that is money out of their pocket. Anyway, I am sure I have much more to say on the matter, but preferably after more coffee.
Those yoga mat Sanuks are flying off the shelves in my store! I was never a fan of their shoe styled flip flops so I didnt bother to even try on their actual flops but if people on the internet say their awesome it must be true. I have also finally broke down and bought a pair of Classic Toms (<a class="postlink" href="http://www.toms.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.toms.com</a>) and they have since made their way into my shoe rotation on a weekly basis. I had always liked them on other people but had thought my not so small feet would look weird in them but instead they make me look like I have teeny tiny proportionate to my body feet. Face care question, I am in my early 30's and have always had pretty good skin but lately I have been breaking out like a teenager. What do you fine ladies use for breakouts? I am super curious what skin care regimens people use/do on the regular. I have been using (<a class="postlink" href="http://www.olehenriksen.com/p-71-3-little-wonders-box-set.aspx" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.olehenriksen.com/p-71-3-litt ... x-set.aspx</a>) Ole Henricksens 3 little wonders kit for a while now and though it hasn't hurt my skin (no huge breakouts, oily or dry spots) I am not finding its doing much of anything to brighten or smooth it out which was why I went with it in the first place. Previously I used (<a class="postlink" href="http://www.bioelements.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.bioelements.com/</a>) Bioelement products but wanted a change as I found it was clogging my pores pretty badly over time and once and also once and awhile I will toss in a cleanser or exfoliant from Lush which I am never in love with or hate. I havent posted in months and this is what I finally break down and write about? what has happened to me.
Those yoga mat flip flops are amazing. I bought a brown pair at some shop on the boardwalk in the beginning of the summer and bought a black pair towards the end. I've never had more comfortable flip flops. In regards to skin care, Aveda products have always worked best for me. I have sensitive skin and they use plant-based ingredients rather than chemical. I stared using their purifying gel cleanser but now I use the Tourmaline Charged Exfoliating Cleanser. It works pretty well.
I find that exfoliating stuff on my face makes my skin raw and breakouts worse. I use this <a class="postlink" href="http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS451US451&q=clearasil+acne+marks+wash+and+mask&psj=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1366&bih=670&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=6373018111179077151&sa=X&ei=X6mDT_LSNMeaiQKW5dn4BQ&ved=0CGoQ8wIwAA" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.google.com/products/catalog? ... CGoQ8wIwAA</a> . Basically, there are 2 main chemicals used for acne products: benzoyl acid and salicylic acid. For years I tried using benzoyl products like Proactive but they don't work for me. The clearasil products have around 2% salicylic acid and that is what I need (I have used other products on their line successfully, but when I get a pimple the red marks lasts forever so the product I linked is the one that I need for that). You should experiment and see which acid is effective for your skin. I use that wash I linked, plus a toner with 2% salicylic acid, plus a Clearasil lotion with 2% salicylic acid for spot treating pimples overnight. For general moisturizer I use an Aveeno daily moisturizer. It does the job and doesn't leave me oily.
I was having the same issue so my dermatologist has me using Cerave cleanser and Differin gel. Cerave is sold in regular drugstores and keeps your skin moisturized (which we all need once we hit 30) without clogging pores. Does a great job getting rid of makeup as well. You need a prescription for Differin but it's AWESOME. It doesn't dry out your face like most acne meds. Instead it gently dissolves old skin cells so that your pores don't clog and viola! no breakouts! It also has been proven to reverse sun damage. I use it every other day and my skin went from bumpy breakouts to even-toned and smooth. Win-fucking-win.
+1 for Differin. At $100+ for the generic it's pricey, but it takes me over a year to go through a tube (and that's with daily application). I've been trying different acne meds and combinations of meds since I was 18, and this is the only one that's worked for me. It's made a drastic change in my skin. I don't even wear foundation or use cover-up anymore. I've noticed the same as Chirpy. I don't get acne anymore, and the skin tone is even and smooth.
I went to the doc today for a UTI but thought I'd ask about acne meds while I was in there. I had been reading about Differin since you ladies mentioned it, and what did he mention? Differin (also Retinol, but he said his first choice was Differin). I asked him questions, got some good information. He said it was pretty pricey and wasn't sure if my insurance would cover it, but that he could prescribe it and I could decide if it was worth whatever price they assigned it at the window. How much? FIVE bucks. Hell yeah I'll take it. I love Tricare! I went to their website and they have some rebate on there for $35 Differin. So if your insurance doesn't cover it, there is still hope.
I have never seen that particular screenshot, and never noticed that particular asset despite watching the movie. I think I am even more in love.
Can I ask the assembled tibette's a question? The "big bulge" thing, that's just aesthetic, right? I only ask because I feel like a lot of women I talk to don't actually understand how low the correlation between flaccid length and erect length actually is, and how easily flaccid size is affected by the environment. I can't even count the number of times I've seen this misunderstood in popular culture, despite the fact that people seem to intellectually know better.
I just like looking at a big bulge in tight underwear. I know it's not correlated to erection size, but my vagina still gets fluttery.
Yeah, isn't that kind of the point? "If it looks that big flaccid then HEYO!" Although, to be perfectly honest, I stared at that picture for a while and it looks like mostly balls, which I don't care too much about. It's more about the triggering of the imagination, I guess. Also: With the exception of Men Who Wear Skinny Jeans, if there's a bulge opportunity, either through pants or in underwear, I think part of the reason why it's exciting is because it's the first glimpse, and it's rare to see while clothed. Unlike with guys, who get to see how big boobs are no matter what.