And really, who'd lie about my life? I mean my sex life is amazing, but i'm a fat bald computer geek son of a gay man and his fag hag, who's divorced and dodging bankruptcy, loathes his (admittedly over paid) career, has constant ongoing health problems, and asperger's syndrome. If I was going to lie about shit - I'd probably edit some of that stuff out. The pictures of myself that I've posted also certainly aren't the ones I'd post if I was faking my life story. And as an aside, I have a fetlife.com profile that anyone can look at if they sign up for a free account, where I have a couple of TiB people as friends, and if you look through my activity on fetlife there's a fuckload of pictures of me playing. I've met TiB'ers at fetish events (and am at most Brisbane Hellfire's, including the one this Saturday), and have a few TiB'ers on Facebook. I've also posted pictures of topless girls tied up in my bedroom in the Boobies thread, and pictures clearly from the same room of a girl with a paddle with my name engraved on it resting on her ass (a paddle that was made by a TiB'er who I met at a fetish event). If I was full of shit - I think someone probably would have caught me out by now. I'm not into Bears or ugly guys. I mean I'm pretty slutty with girls. I'm lucky in that I currently have an abundance of gorgeous girls who want to touch my penis, but I've done plenty of ugly girls, including a few that I actively destroyed all photos of as soon as I got sober. Guys I'm a lot pickier about - and I have a pretty specific type (twinks basically). Most of the guys I'm actively into are androdgynous, or very fit, and despite having a beard myself - I'm only into clean shaven guys. But I'm not sure you can explain being attracted to someone else's cock. I think it's one of those things that you either get or you don't. I know I had a lot of hangups about being attracted to guys. I wasn't comfortable exploring that until my mid twenties. And it was a progression in stages thing. The starting point for finding comfort being attracted to guys for me was through BDSM. The power exchange/kink thing isn't hinged on the same turning points as sexuality - and I can get off on kink with people I'm not at all physically attracted too. Once I got my head around that point, it wasn't hard to get comfortable with the idea that I'm into grabbing someone by the hair and making them suck my cock, or throwing them down and fucking them, and their gender isn't relevant to that being a good time. From there, figuring out that my hangups were hangups and not disinterest just sort of happened. A lot of it when I first got emotionally invested in a guy and realised that if I could be even a little in love with a guy - then it was retarded to have hangups about some acts, because they were 'too gay'.
I suspect these questions will not come out right, and will be somewhere between cliched and offensive, but I have actually devoted a few hours to thinking about them and I'm not just trying to be a provocative dick. Also, I suspect that the actions of me and my friends, and the women we self-select, are contributing factors, so feel free to confirm that. That said: 1). Female friend groups based around the guys they have in common. What's up with that? Am I the only one who has witnessed this? The girls my male friends and I date tend to befriend each other and seemingly become each others' primary friend group. Same deal with my brother's friends. The issue is that these women don't actually have a whole lot in common with each other, so these groups tend to implode, royally fucking up the lives of the men. This might be because my friends and I, being somewhat odd ourselves, attract slightly odd women. Thoughts? 2). Ok, I know I'm going to get flack for this, but fuck it, here goes. At the moment, I am actively trying to expand my number of female friends. I know a few - maybe 5 - really, really awesome women who I am close to. Seriously, these women are amazing, and I have endless respect for them. So, I meet their friend groups, assuming that I will meet similarly awesome women. Without fail, 1 or maybe 2 people out of their entire group of friends strike me as interesting and worth getting to know. That's fine, I'm not going to click with everybody, I tend to prefer people who are misfits in some way, and I'm an acquired taste myself. What puzzles me is that I have tried, tactfully, to ask my friends about this, and they seem to acknowledge it. "Yeah, X is awesome, but A B C and D are... meh." ?!? Is it really that hard to find quality female friends, or am I just judgmental - or, do these women find me uninteresting, and consequently I don't see the best side of them? Or, do many women wish to avoid confrontation/drama so they end up with these bloated friend groups consisting of far too many people they don't actually like?
Women, how hairy is ok? Some of us are, shall we say, hirsute. Which is better, a hairy guy, or a shaved guy? Is selective manscaping ok, and to what extent? How awful is the term manscaping?
Ill have to echo what scootah said. The "assholes getting laid" thing works until about 21 or 22 and then I feel like most women are over that and are looking for a guy who isn't a fuck up and is somewhat successful. I got laid way more in my early 20s than my late teens. Ladies, what's your take on this one? Still go for the "bad boys" or no?
Please stop talking for a while. You're hurting my brain, and we've done enough of the "BS PUA" threads that we don't need to drag that shit into this one. But mostly it's because you're hurting my brain.
Women also have weird bumps, odd bunches of skin, and we wax, pluck, and shave away hair is some pretty odd places.
I'm not in a relationship but I can definitely vouch for this. I've had a lot of great success with dating with being nice to EVERYONE, not just the date and not giving a fuck whether I get laid or not. Guys who usually say otherwise either have ulterior motives or are just bitter and it shows. As a hairy guy I feel I can at least comment with my own experiences. The vast majority of women like manscaping, however there are a few outliers like the one who was a former TiBette FB and another I met through friends who liked me being a hairy fuck. I always ask.
Well there is that...and... You know how not all women enjoy being tied up and having the shit beat out of them in the bedroom, but for some they will not have it any other way? Same thing. Ass play just doesn't feel good to some people. Plus poo comes out of there. Ewww.
My boyfriend doesn't have a lot of body hair and I'm ok with that. I've been with guys who do have more, and that's ok too, as long as it's under control. I don't know, can guys have excessively long body hair? If so, trim that shit down. I don't want to worry about getting chest hair stuck in my mouth if I decide to kiss you on the way down. The term manscaping is not awful at all. You expect us to keep it tidy, we expect you to do the same. Bad boys are good to have fun with, but I think every girl would like to settle down with a nice guy. Someone said that once women hit a certain age, they're looking to settle down and I know that I would want to be with someone who is responsible and knows how to take care of himself. I'm not trying to be anyone's mother.
Probably for a lot of guys, yes, but for others some of us just think it's nasty. I've no desire to have my ass played with or play with anyone else's ass. When I'm watching porn nothing is a faster boner-killer than anal.
And I think that's where the frustration of a younger guy comes from. When boys and girls are young, they want to have fun. The young good guys get screwed (only metaphorically) because a lot of the chicks their age want to get railed by a train of "bad boys", and the guys get shoved firmly into the Friend Zone™ and start cutting themselves. Once the chicks get out of their "bad boy" phase, assuming they do, they then go look for that guy that would normally be shoved into the Friend Zone™ without the games and shit that they played when they were younger and trying to figure out relationships. Meanwhile, the young boy learns that being nice isn't the way to get laid (which is his one and only true motivation at that point in his life), so tries to be somebody he's not. That can make it worse for him at the time, and potentially later on in life. My advice to "Nice Guys" is keep being nice, as in GENUINELY nice (not some ploy to bag chicks), and it'll pay off. It sucks at the time, but it's worth it.
I've thought about trying this, either giving or getting. But like Net said there is a homophobia aspect to it along with the fact of what goes on there is just down right nasty. Maybe after a his and hers enema to make sure everything is extra clean, but even then.
I actually have a good friend who's going through this right now. He is the nicest, most considerate guy I know and he keeps getting screwed over by women. Granted, he's 25, and the last girl to break up with him was 20, but he's left wondering why she doesn't want to be with him even though he treated her so well. The only answer I could come up with was, "Dude, she's 20 and goes to Penn State." She's going to get screwed over by so many frat boys, realize what she gave up and hate herself for a while. Then once she turns 25, she'll come running back to the nice boys. It's kind of a shame how it all works.
This was me with my ex to the last detail. I'm not tooting my horn when I say that I've always been one of those nice guys who was either the friend or, in this case, cast aside. I was about to graduate college and she was still going to be in hers for another two years. I was getting ready to start my life, she was licking her chops waiting to get railed by the swim team, apparently. Now, we still talk from time to time, and invariably the topic of boys will come up and she'll say something to the effect of "It's so hard to find nice guys in this city. You were always so good to me." And I'll just say, "It's what you deserved." And then she's sad.
I think most of you know this, but I'm going to say it just about as clearly as possible. I've never met a man who disagreed with this, though maybe they're out there somewhere: Some guys like assplay. Do not ever start assplay without warning. Ever. It's not an exciting surprise.
Exibit A: Stealth. Seriously though, can you indulge us on what's made you so jaded? Was it a specific incident or just a long run of bad luck? I feel like you're too old to feel this way without something traumatic happening to you. I picture you as the 'nice guy' that's there for a girl every time she gets in a fight with her boyfriend to console her, but secretly wants to fuck the shit out of her. That's not being a nice guy, that's being deceptive. The real nice guy is someone who is unconditionally nice, not expecting anything in return, be it towards a girl he'd like to sleep with, another dude or a homeless person. Now I have nothing to say about the success of the truly nice guy since I'm kind of a prick, but it's got to be better than the success of the devious 'nice guy' that writes drivel like this.
This may begin to fall under the umbrella of "whore logic" but I've always wondered about the following: 1. Why are women able to vocalise, well, certain concepts (for example "I understand that Jim is just not that good at [activity], he's just not suited to it"), but they're unable to accept it? 2. Why is it that a man can be acceptable in a majority of areas, but if he sucks at one, non-essential one, it can be the lynchpin for breakup? 3. Why do women expect men to know what they're thinking and feeling, yet feel it is okay to ask what you're thinking because "I just can read you"?