Nom speaks the truth. How I think men will react to what I'm wearing on a daily basis is about 10% of the reason I wear what I choose to wear. (Of course that jumps to about 40% when I'm going out specifically to troll for peen, but I'm still not thinking they'll care whatsoever about my bag.) And if you think guys don't notice shoes, may I direct you to that tangent in the birthday drunk thread where some guys got very passionate about the existence of flats.
For the most part we only notice stupid shit, like flats. 99% of the time I won't notice if a girl is wearing heels or flip flops.
To be completely fair, I've noticed guys do the same sort of over-spending on trivial things, and probably just as often. Take jeans, for instance. Until today I've never even seen Diesel brand jeans in person so I checked out one of their stores. A factory outlet store, which is ghetto looking and has cheaper prices than the "official" stores. The average price in there for a pair of (somewhat shiney-looking) blue jeans? Around $300, and I saw at least three dudes buy pairs in the 10 minutes I was in the store. For jeans. Are you laughing as hard as I did right now? Let me spell out some facts here: if you can't see the label on a pair of jeans, 99% of you cannot tell the difference between D&G and Wrangler. So, I tried a pair on (something I very rarely do) to see if there's a big difference. No, not really. Sure, they did feel a little better, but they don't feel much better than simple Old Navy jeans that cost at least ten times less. It's just. Fucking. JEANS. They do not turn Cap'n Crunch cereal into platinum and emeralds or make you immune to HPV. The best part? Nobody will EVER ask you about them or even notice them in the slightest. Ever. Sorry if I'm pissing in your pool here, but if you pay $300 for a pair of jeans you're a huge asshole, rich or poor.
Hell, you have to admit we [men] are even more trivial than that. I know guys who've dropped thousands of dollars into their toy cars to make them go faster, even though spending 5 grand to make your car go from a 140 mph top end to 150 isn't honestly a good investment when you never really take it above 90. Hell I have 12 gigs (soon to be 18) of memory in my computer even though 4 is more than enough to run my programs at maximum peformance, none of my buddies question this.
I have a hard time recommending clothing (or lingerie) to women, because I'm never quite sure if I like the way the dress looks, or the way the dress looks on the model. I don't care how much is spent on fancy designers or fabric with immense tensile elasticity; Rosie O'Donnell will never look as good in it as any random Victoria's Secret model will look in a basic burlap sack. It's all in how you wear it. My roommate has couple of thousand sunk into Nikon pro glass...but has the 35mm prime on his camera 99% of the time. Another friend has a BMW M3 in cherry red, and he puts less than 2k miles on it a year since he lives close enough to walk to work. I've spent more than I'm comfortable disclosing on a boat, despite the fact that my state only has warm enough weather for (generously speaking) two months out of the year.
$300 is a lot. But I have to disagree with you somewhat, and I'm sure that there are people who would disagree with your entirely (Jennitalia? Does Wale read these boards?) First of all, people can absolutely tell the difference between Wrangler's and D & G. The cut is entirely different, the quality is entirely different, the look is entirely different. If you're the kind of person who wears jeans fashionably (i.e., the same way somebody else might wear a suit), it might be worth it to you. Especially if you have a non-traditional body size (like you're tall and very skinny). For women, it's an even bigger issue, because their jeans are much tighter, and they all have different bodies. That being said! $300 is overpaying for that privilege. You can definitely buy a pair of $90 jeans that will last a long time and look very good. They'll just either be really hard to find, or some mid-range brand. Which is ok, obviously. A lot of mid-range brands are there exactly for people who would like quality but don't need to prove their wealth via denim. You can wear a really good pair of jeans into the fucking ground though. I wear jeans the majority of the time, and they're about as versatile as anything in my closet. That just makes sense though. Any girl that wants you to recommend clothing without seeing it on her (or seeing similar clothes on her) is asking a lot of you (unless you're a stylist or something). In the end though, "become better looking" isn't very good advice, most women are generally stuck with a pretty static base level of attractiveness and body type. So they deal with what they have. There are some people who clothes really help though, and some for whom they don't do much. George Clooney in a suit, or Sarah Jessica Parker in...whatever it is she wears are quite attractive (maybe not for SJP, but w/e), but I don't think either one could pull of a burlap sack.
Having worked at The Gap for a while a few years back I can tell you THE EASIEST way to judge what a women is wearing if she ask is either "It's cute" or "it's not cute." It was like watching a sociology test every day as I saw women indoctrinating girls from the earliest of ages with the knowledge of cuteness. They might have overly complicated formulas in their head about it but it all boils down to "it's cute" and "it's not cute." FLATS ARE NOT CUTE.
I just bought a pair of jeans that fit incredibly well, allow for my ass, don't gap in the back, allow for my thighs (which, according to some posters here are HHHAAAAYYOOOOOOGGGGGEE), and are long enough to be worn with my boots...for $15. I refuse to spend a crazy amount of money on jeans. But workout clothes? The same day I spent $15 on jeans, I spent $98 on a pair of track pants from Lululemon. They're magical, they feel fantastic, and they're my work clothes, so I don't mind spending the money on them. edit: There's nothing cute about flats. Nothing at all. I tried some on over the weekend. UGH.
Who cares? It's just a choice. We all choose what to spend money on. I have ~$10k worth of photo gear. It's just a hobby. Is that stupid? A waste of money? Maybe for you. It's my choice, though, and I also choose to drive a 2002 Subaru with 175k miles on it, I rarely go out to eat, and I live modestly, so I've just chosen where to spend my excess income. I don't see why it matters if you choose to spend your money on cars, scotch, clothes, purses or exotic animals. If you are not putting yourself in a bad financial situation and whoever you are choosing to share your life with (or not) is not adversely affected by it, then it shouldn't make a difference what your particular vice is. I would probably have a hard time being with a girl who chose to regularly buy expensive purses, because that would be at odds with where I would like our excess income to go, but it's still all relative. I would not expect a girl in the Coach store to understand why my Nikon D300 is worth a premium, any more than I would expect to understand why she thinks the purse is worth a premium. Nor does my pallet appreciate a $30 cigar, though I can tell you why some of the bottles of wine in my house are worth $70.
I suppose "Because she wanted it" is too simple an answer, so how about "Because she wanted it and you talked her into it"?
If he had meant California he would have said Mexicans, and everyone knows that all the queers and douchebags come from Mass, not California.
Alright, got a serious question. I have a difficult time with sex. Everyone knows the stereotype of the virgin dude - gets hard if a girl touches his hand, ready to bust at a moment's notice. I'm the complete opposite. It takes forever for me to get hard, and it takes forever for me to actually finish. The couple girls I've been with have been completely frustrated by this. They see it as a failure on their part; in their minds, they aren't sexy enough / good enough in bed to get me off. But it's me; I take more than half an hour to jack off, and that's with me actually trying. I'm not turned on by porn, and, (I'm probably going to get burned for heresy) I'm not turned on by blowjobs. As in, she's going to town, and I'm completely flaccid (and she is completely baffled). Does anyone else have this problem? Or am I the first 20-year-old to have to have the Levitra talk with the doctor?
No. Not because I'm repressing my desires, but because I'm honestly not attracted to men. I see a girl and say "Wow, she's gorgeous" and think dirty thoughts about what I'd want to do to her. I don't think that when I see a guy. It's that we'll be making out, she's moist as hell and ready to go, and while I'm ready and willing, it just ain't getting hard. The first girl I was with straight-out asked, "Are you sure you're straight?" It was embarrassing as hell. We got through it eventually, but it took a while and several aborted attempts. At first I thought it was just nerves, but it hasn't gotten better with the other girl I hooked up with, either. The thing is, now it's nerves that come from nerves. I'm scared of hooking up with a girl and having it happen again. I guess I could pull a Scumbag Steve and blame it all on her, but it doesn't keep the situation from being embarrassing and unpleasant. So I'm not really sure what to do.
I was only kidding before, but I think you are just nervous. And by worrying about if it will get hard or not, is making it that much worse for you. This may sound crazy, but stop trying to hook up with women in hopes that this will solve itself. Just date and get comfortable with a girl for a while and THEN let things progress. I know, its crazy and generally against the way things work around this place but you might need a genuine connection to a woman in order to get full sexual connection. You just might not be geared for random sex. And thats ok, and I can tell you from talking to some close friends, they wish they were able to have that connection with someone. But they again, you are 20 and this could just sound like a bunch of crazy talk to you. You can get it up when you flog the dolphin, right?
You sound uncomfortable with sex and your own sexuality. Maybe you just need to hash out what sex means to you with an objective third party? It might be related to your sexual orientation but not necessarily. Maybe it's just ingrained attitudes regarding sex passed down from your folks. There's a new trend of ED in 20 something guys who have been jacking off using porn as an aid for years and find themselves unable to become aroused/finish without the visual stimulation, but you said you weren't a fan of porn... so I'm not sure, but this sounds like a mental block for you more than it being anything physical. Get checked out by your GP and then if he says there is nothing physically wrong, talk therapy would probably be the best route to take.