Kind of, but not really. If my girlfriend asks me to do something I don't want to do, my usual thought process is "She's done a ton of stuff for me that she probably didn't want to do, so I should probably just shut up and do it...", but I have on occasion stared blankly into the refrigerator/pantry while putting away groceries in hopes that she would get frustrated telling me where stuff goes and just do it herself. So, I dunno. I guess I pick my battles on that one.
I, like most men am a "fixer". I usually try and stop the female in the conversation and ask them "do you want me to fix this, or are you just venting?" this simple question saves me alot of hassle, and is usually appreciated by the female. I have done this with my sister, my mom/step-mom, gf's, female friends/co-workers, and it seems to work universally. Learned it several years ago from a very smart friend of mine who asked his wife in my presence. Food for thought.
Speaking as a man, I can tell you guys I dread nothing more than any weekend which has been entirely "set aside" to clean and go to stores where I don't want to buy shit. I understand stuff needs doing, I would just rather do it all as quickly as possible and then sit around thinking about nonsense than to waste a whole Saturday looking at bedspreads.
What bugs me is when my wife asks me to do something (I.e. Load the dishwasher), and I do it, and she comes along and takes everything out and does it again. Everythig fit, everything gets clean, but I didn't do it 'her way,' so it is wrong. Most women I know do the same thing (sisters-in-law, etc). If you ask me to do something, let me fucking do it. Don't micromanage or redo it moments later. Just because my way is different, doesn't mean it is wrong. Maybe I just know a lot of control freaks.
Venting isn't based on logic. Sometime, women just need to be mad about something and tell you about it. On some level, we know talking to the person about it is the answer, but at that point we're just not interested in fixing the problem, we just want to complain about it. In all honesty, after a few days, I will end up talking to the person about my problem. Except for my boss. I keep my mouth shut about issues I have at work because I know I'm not going to be working at my current job any longer than a year or two, so I don't see the point in rocking the boat.
If anything, I have been far too nice to women and by in large it hasn't got me all that far and certainly hasn't got me laid. Therefore, my simple rationale is that I need to have a good dose of asshole in order to balance things out. I don't take what is in the Roissy blog as gospel, more a case of getting and using what is usefull and leaving the rest. The world IS full of all sorts of men, assholes, douchebags, and all manner of combinations of issues with ego, insecurities etc. So, using this rationale, the world is also full of women that have all manner of issues as well. If you removed all the fucked up women from the population; just what percentage of the current population of women would be left ? Flame away folks ..... flame away.
Well, you're certainly on to something there. If there's one thing that pretty much never works, it's being nice in order to get laid. Nobody likes somebody whose nice because they have an ulterior motive. If you're a nice guy, be nice because that's who you are and that's how you treat everybody, not because you want to fuck some chick. To tie it back in with the thread focus, in my experience, women love/lust after nice guys, BUT ONLY IF THEY'RE GENUINELY AND UNIVERSALLY NICE. It's like "asshole game", but you can sleep at night: when a guy seems genuinely unconcerned with sex, they're significantly hotter, regardless of whether they use negs or routines. Ask any guy in a relationship on this board how much more attention they get from women now: they're still nice guys, they're just nice guys who genuinely aren't trying to fuck women.
Let me put it this way. For most women out there (at least 50%) . If they didn't have pussies, men would just throw rocks at them.
And for the women out there, this is what we men refer to as "Those douchebags that give the rest of us a bad name".
Well, as long as you aren't all so simpleminded. Stealth, you can't possibly be serious. We are all wired differently, that is all.
I really don't mean to keep singling you out, or picking on you, or whatever it is I guess I'm doing, but do you realize how stupid you sound? When you sit there and type that stuff, are you imagining someone on the other side of the world laughing, thinking that you're edgy or clever? I mean, what do you get out of it? A little attention, no matter if it's good or bad? I can understand being an asshole if it's just who you are, and it's worked out well for you and you can sleep at night, but why the hell would you want to be a FAKE asshole? I just had a weird moment where I realized that we're talking about someone being a fake asshole to get the attention of the opposite sex which he obviously harbors conflicting feelings about, in a thread about lack of understanding why men and women do certain things. It's like sitting in a traffic safety course and seeing a three car pile up out of the classroom window.
Bull.Shit. Nice guys get laid vastly more than assholes. Genuinely nice guys are a rare scarcity that women don't let go of. The difference between genuinely nice guys, and assholes who start running PUA bullshit to get laid more, is that assholes were never genuinely nice. They were acting like nice guys and they either weren't very good at it, or they misrepresented themselves as friends when they wanted to be sexual partners. And false friendship is a shitty way to get laid. I'm a fat bald computer geek, I have at the moment, six active fuck buddies, and a couple of others who would probably come over if I invited them. All of whom are undeniably hot girls and all of whom are cool as fuck. Every single one of those girls would start of a description of me as 'He's a really nice guy'. The difference is, I didn't fake friendship with them, and I was open and honest about my sexual intentions all the way through. Of my genuinely nice guy friends, every single one of them is either in a long term relationship, or is actively pursued by women. The ones in long term relationships universally have other girls just waiting for the moment that those guys become available. Every single fucking one. Except Hotwheelz. But if you're not in a wheelchair the model holds. The guys I know who describe themselves as too nice to get laid? Are universally false friends who are misrepresenting their intentions and surprised when the suckers they pretend to be friends with treat the friendship as just a friendship. Who gives a fuck? If you weren't using false niceness or manipulative asshole behaviour to get laid, maybe you'd get to spend some time with the awesome women instead? I completely agree that a substantial majority of all human beings suck - but if you weren't one of the people who sucked, maybe you'd get to make friends with the awesome people?
I'm not saying that I doubt this is true but never in my wildest dreams could I have even thought I would read this combination of words and sentences. Sir, I tip my proverbial hat to you.
Furthermore, I don't see it as "manipulation"; anyway ALL social interaction has an element of manipulation. I see it as consciously putting certain behaviors into place and eliminating other (counterproductive) behaviors.
I don't have an artistic bone in my body and i still fantasize every day... the things my imagination can come up with tend to be far hotter than most porn and there's none of that searching for the right scene bullshit. Flick the imagination switch and that scene is right there with whomever you want in it (not some strung out, used up 20 year old porn star that sorta looks like the hottie in the office you are really thinking about doing those things with).
Ive experienced this myself but i'd like to ask the ladies about this one (if they are even conscious of the fact that this happens). I'm of two minds on this. Is it: a. they aren't actively looking to fuck you (making them more relaxed and normal around you) b. you cant have them c. a little of both the above EDIT: Adjusted the first answer (its what i meant but as Scootah said it wasn't how it came out)
It's mostly A, but the way the answer is phrased is misleading. It's not that women all secretly want some guy who doesn't want to fuck them. It's that when most guys want to fuck a woman, they stop acting like themselves and start acting like some kind of demented alien. Either a shy fumbling moron or an overcompensating chest beating asshole. Very few people are actively attracted to either of those characteristics. A guy who's already in a relationship doesn't get nervous, doesn't get tounge tied and shy, doesn't over compensate and act like a jackass - he just chills the fuck out and acts like a normal guy - which is infinitely more attractive than the alternatives. I'm sure for some women, the forbidden fruit thing plays a factor as well. But the chilling the fuck out and not being a jerk or a dork is a much bigger point in favour of the guy in a relationship.
This statement shows that A. you really are the insecure little boy that I had the impression you were, and B. despite your join date, you haven't really read these forums very much. If there's one person on the internet that I trust when it comes to matters of sex and relating (not necessarily relationships, being outside the traditional mold) to people, it's Scootah. The openness, honesty, candor and maturity he always shows in these discussions gives me a sense of safety when it comes to his advice on these matters. I've got nothing but respect for Scootah, so you questioning not only the validity of his statement, but the import of it, leaves me with nothing but disdain for your opinions. Scootah, girls, in my opinion a beautiful woman is one of the most aesthetically pleasing things on the planet (see attachment). The grace of the curves when they're in the right places is something I can gaze at for hours. How on earth can men (in general, not fitness model types, which I kinda get) be attractive to you? There are weird bumps, odd bunches of skin, things that look like they were thrown in at the last minute, and dear Dog, the hair.
Yes, most people have ulterior motives. Most people are dodgy bastards. That doesn't make it ok to interact with women with the hidden motivation of manipulating your way inside her. Put the behaviors of courtesy into place. Hold the door for people, greet them, get to know people simply for the sake of getting to know them, be polite for the sake of being a better person. Remove the counterproductive behaviors of cynicism and assuming that all women suck. Fuck man, I'm 21, with a track record of horrible experiences with women and an inability to get laid if my life depended on it, and I can see how skewed your perception is. Don't get me wrong, my experiences have tainted my perceptions and I'm not sitting on a lofty throne of perfect courtesy and objective thinking, but I still do my best to judge each and every person based on their actions, not their gender. That's something that anyone can reasonably do, and you'll be better for it. Sorry about the dogpile, there.