Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. It's a title that catches one's interest due to the fact that, despite most of our inherent desires for the opposite sex, we certainly don't "get" them. A thread where we can ask questions about the opposite sex or make statements about our own could be useful. Focus: What don't you understand about the women (or men) in your life? Ask. Alt Focus: Share your experiences and subsequent wisdom. This is not intended to be a male/female bashing thread. If you are truly an idiot, make broad generalizations and expect to be targeted. My input: Women really are crazy. Our hormones have a huge impact on our rationale. Once I understood that about myself, I learned to take time to assess situations, instead of simply reacting to them. I'm not at all perfect, however, and appreciate the patient man in my life. Men. Most of the time, I seem to get them. There are times I want to choke them. If I tell you about something, I don't need you to tell me what I did wrong, or what I need to do. Just fucking listen. If I ask for help, then offer your counsel. It's frustrating when I am venting and you don't shut up. I'm sensitive, dammit.
What a great idea. We've had so many "help" threads around here, but none that I can remember about men and women. (Or boys and girls, depending on your preference). Hopefully this will be good enough go into the Permanent Threads forum when it's had it's run on here, and be a running thread. For now, have at it, and when it slows down I'll move it. Treat it like other "help" threads though... stay on focus, and don't derail.
Women, why is it okay for me to use the phrase "she has a bun in the oven" in reference to your pregnancy, but not in reference to your yeast infection? Yeast is an integral component of baking. Pshh, crazy bitches.
Why is it that women read so much into the most simplistic things? The girl and I have been dating for over a year now. Sometimes if were just having a lazy night in, I don't feel like talking much. I'm not angry, depressed, or deep in thought. I'm doing what guys do which is just sitting, watching TV in what I like to call "Autopilot Mode." I've explained this to the girl, but she gets concerned that I'm mad at her because I'm being quiet and then it turns into an argument over nothing. So what's the deal with that ladies?
You must be dating my girlfriend, too. Does your girl also have, as if my instinct, the ability to sense the exact moment you've achieved relaxation--say, sitting back into the couch and popping a cold beer--and then ask you to get up and do something? If so, I bet 9 times out of 10 the task needs to be performed in the room you were just in moments ago or is something so totally unimportant that it could've waited days--or god-forbid, a half hour--so you can sit down for a few minutes and not do anything.
I have a sexual question, whose answer I suspect I know but I'm not sure about. (Men, feel free to give whatever input you have as well): Are men too quiet in bed? Do women appreciate a...demonstrative man, or would you rather a more stoic guy? Obviously there's going to be a range here, I'm just interested in hearing some thoughts.
Quoting pixar movies in bed is not what most women are looking for in a partner. I can tell you that from experience.
"Look, I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!" ...yeah, champ, I think I'm just gonna go grab my Buzz, instead.
Bah! I had a similar issue with my current GF for two whole years in the beginning of our relationship, she didn't necessarily assume I was mad at her, but she thought I was upset/depressed with something. We never got into an argument, but I almost felt the need to appear focused on something tangible so I wouldn't worry her. I finally broke her after two years of saying what you said above. Sure fire way to cure this: for an entire week, completely ignore her stupid requests and do nothing but play video games. After that week go back to your normal self. That week will be hell, but you'll have set the bar so low that she'll just be happy you're giving her some attention again. Or she'll dump you, one of the two.
In lieu of talking, I've chosen to occasionally incorporate a bullhorn that also makes barnyard animal sound effects and plays "La Cucaracha." It was hit and miss for a while, but I've found she really loves the Rooster, Goat, Cow Moo, Normal Chicken Cluck sequence. Follow that up with the first verse of "La Cucaracha" and she's purring like a kitten. It's the gorilla suit of pillow talk methods.
When you are sitting, being quiet, we wonder what you're thinking. While there is literally NOTHING rattling around in your skull, your woman can't comprehend that. We always have something that we are mentally chewing on, while not necessarily a deep thought it is likely something we would talk about. Some women are angry when they are quiet, and assume that you must operate the same way. Thus the questioning, which then does make you angry.
I've found the best way to deal with this is to tell her the absolutely inane bullshit I am actually thinking about. Her: You ok? Me: Yeah, I'm fine Her: You just look like you've got something on your mind Me: I was wondering what Tauntauns eat if Hoth is totally covered in ice.
I like to know that what I'm doing is successful. Noises and talking help with being sure, especially when my mouth is full. I have been with some excessively loud men, however, and loud dirty talk is kind of weird to me. I don't need to be called names either, thanks.
It's because the behavior is a departure from your standard behavior. Chances are, if you're sitting with her and watching a movie or whatever, and make it a point to reach out and put a hand on her thigh or make some kind of familiar, intimate contact (not sexual, just...comforting contact) with her, she won't read that you're angry with her. Something that keeps her in your intimate little bubble there. Unless you're dating a vapid chick who talks about a bunch of nothing for hours on end. If that's the case, I can't help you.
When I saw this thread, it reminded me of an article that I just found again. It's on a study about inattentional deafness, AKA selective hearing. It basically states that when you're involved in a task that requires a lot of your attention, outside stimuli may not be processed by your brain. In other words, if I'm watching Futureweapons, and you just called from the kitchen to ask me what spices I want on the chicken, or what I think we should buy your cousin for her birthday, it's not that I'm ignoring you--my brain is choosing to concentrate on what it has decided is the most pertinent thing for me to concentrate on. Similarly, inattentional blindness works the same way. So when you march out of the kitchen and stand in front of me to ask if I heard what you said, I may not even see that you're there. But again, it's not my fault. Blame the brain. Here's the article
Thanks for your responses ladies, as a follow up: When youre in a relationship, what do you expect most out of your boyfriend? (Aside from the obvious ones like fidelity) As a guy, I expect my girlfriend to have some level of independence from me. I can't stand dating a girl who always wants to go out with me and my friends or wants to chill every single weekend night. Also, I'm not big on clinginess. If were out somewhere, I expect that you can walk without holding my hand the entire time.
Some moans are nice to hear to know we're doing a good job. If there's no noise coming from you, I'll assume you passed out or you are totally not into it.