Sad because it's the last game for weeks on end. But WOO! Why in the hell is Monday not a holiday...STILL!!??
Monday should be a holiday and World Series week should be like block leave in the army. Every body takes off.
To continue on with the locker room etiquette, someone mentioned seeing a guy drying his balls with the dryer. Did he look like this? And because I was out all day and wanted to post this and for some reason couldn't from my phone:
You're an asshole if you do that. A dry, chapped, hopefully burnt asshole. Which leads me to my next point. How fucking damp does your anus have to be in order for an air dryer to be necessary?
A dry, chapped, burnt asshole is probably a hairy one. With heat being applied to it. So the locker room is going to smell like hairy burnt shit.
Well, if anyone is looking for a snack idea: I can't stop laughing at this. Is he birthing it? Did he shite it out? If he shat it out, how the fuck did he swallow a 6 foot sandwich whole? HOW did the sandwich magically reconstitute itself in his guts? Or is this gif in reverse and the nurse is shoving it in? HELP ME UNDERSTAND.
This is from one of the greatest Cosby episodes ever. It was so good that even though I probably haven't seen it in 20 plus and I still remember it. It was some sort of dream episode where the men gave birth, but to things they loved. Cliff gave birth to a sandwich, one of the grandpas gave birth to a car, and I think the other grandpa gave birth to another kind of meal and the son-in-law may also have given birth to an inanimate object. Edit: Apparently the grandpa gave birth to a sail boat and Theo gave birth to a car. I remembered the orange soda and for some reason thought that was the grandpa's baby. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.tv.com/shows/the-cosby-show/the-day-the-spores-landed-12872/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.tv.com/shows/the-cosby-show/ ... ded-12872/</a>
You see, there's that "Fuck you now endure my glorious taint" that old men have in change rooms. It's like they simply hate all men who's girls still fuck them with the lights on, so it's showtime at the Apollo with puckered ass-flesh and speed bag scrotal sacks.
So I found a new beer that I'm drinking tonight, and let me tell you...it's fucking delicious. 13% alcohol by volume and aged on coffee, cocoa nibs, vanilla beans, and chili peppers.
Someone is drunk texting me right now. The number isn't in my phone but I don't know if it's because I deleted the number of someone I don't care to associate with or if the contact was lost during my icloud snafu a while back. Whoever it is is trying to be cute and make me guess but unlike them I'm not intoxicated so it's much more annoying than it is cute.
You should text back the following: "You know, for a hitman, you're really not professional. My husband is still alive, as well as the person at 'insert number you're being texted from.' I expect results for my money." Then again, please do not take the foregoing as legal advice in any way, shape or form. Actually, forget I said anything. We will never speak of this again.
The mystery texter was an old friend from high school. I hadn't talked to him in probably a year. He's having a pretty rough 2014 so far. His mom died early this month and apparently he got fired yesterday. He also confessed that he always liked me in high school and regretted never making a move. Too late now dude, I'm married with two kids. In other news, I'm so ready for spring. I was up several times with Baby A last night because he's all congested. Poor little guy.
No. Baby A is kid B. E is the toddler and A is the baby. I refer to them by their first initial on here. So I found out that my sister got engaged last night via facebook. Should I be irritated or is that just how people do things now?
I saw a Facebook post a year or so ago from a high school friend who just posted "RIP Grandpa X" (her husband's grandfather), which was immediately commented on by the husband's brother saying "my grandfather died???!". Sometimes Facebook shouldn't be the first place you go with news. Of course, I'm a hypocrite. 20 people attended my wedding and my husband and I posted photos on Facebook, changed our statuses and shut our phones off for the night. That's how we told people we got (engaged and) married.