I thought we could have some creative fun this holiday season if anybody is into it. This one's easy: write a tourist summary using only the place's unfair stereotypes and ignorant word-of-wouth. It's even better if you've never been there. To make this fair, I'll start with my own: Canada Canada is a cold, bitter, wind-scarred arctic landscape known primarily for sleet and peameal bacon. 85% of Canada is covered in tundra (the Inuit word for "nothing") and all Canadians kneel at 11 am every day to honour their supreme leader, her royal majesty until death Queen Elizabeth II, esquire. She constantly monitors all civillians on Big Brother screens which are powered by oxen since Canada has not yet to discover coal-fired power. They are NOT a nation of primitives, however. Just recently Canada has discovered the magic of such modern advancements like AM radio, automated traffic lights and shampoo. Althought they're known to love their hockey, Canada's ACTUAL national sport is lacrosse (fact) and that works out well since the entire country is at least half-breed aboriginal which probably explains the pathological beer obsession this nation has. Canadians are also known to be extremely horny since friction produces warmth, however they reproduce by engulfing the opposite sex with clouds of their spores. They also make great gifts. and just for fun, since I've never been... Australia The "Land Down Under" is a much loved and visited country/continent/whateverthefuck known for its kangaroos, its Men At Work, its wallabies, its didgeridoos and most of all its droozywobbles. Their Prime Minister Andy The Humungus wears a hockey mask and demands fuel for his dogs of war, or nobody...NOBODY gets out alive. Although the Austrailian wildlife with its deadly snakes and Huntsman spiders may seem dangerous and indimidating to the rest of the world, all Austrailians can instantly tame an attacking animal simply by waving two fingers in front of it's face and humming. It has also been recently proven that ANYBODY in Austrailia can be a star in America (fact). Their national animal is the dingo, a malevolant wild dog that is known for spawning really overrated Meryl Streep movies. The national sport is Knifey-Spoony. Focus: Write a travel guide for basically anywhere based purely on ignorance and sterotypes.