We all suffer from sort of negativity when it comes to the mirror, both literally and figuratively. How do you deal? What do you want to do about your possibly imagined flaws? Focus: What would you change about your physical appearance? Why? How do you address it? I used to believe my feet were obscenely large. As I have gotten older I just don't give a fuck. Some days I wish I were in better shape, so I push myself as much as I can to work out. This can be challenging with my back issues and I struggle with feeling attractive simply because my abs suck. I know it's silly, but can't help it. Body issues are so fun. Alt. Focus: What would you change about yourself as far as behavior? What are you doing to improve yourself? I wish I could stick to my goals better, I do have ADD pretty bad, and I am not medicated for it. I start millions of projects and never finish a damn thing. I actually have to write lists and sticky notes to accomplish anything. I've cut back on my toking and drinking and it does help.
Focus: The only thing I don't like about myself that I can't really change is how hick my eyebrows grow in. There are always two of them, but I have to trim and wax them constantly. Alt-Focus: I'm working on being more outgoing.
I'm not a big fan of my ridiculous nose and brow, but I'm not vain enough to ever consider any kind of cosmetic surgery. I just cope with the fact that I look like a goddamn caveman when viewed from the side. I'm trying to be smarter with my disposable income. I make far too many impulse purchases and then decide in a month or two that I don't even want what I'd bought. I own several DVDs, video games and books that I wanted at the time and then never bothered to watch, play or read. I easily piss away between $100 and $200 every month on shit that I just don't need.
Focus I would change my dick. I'm just really vain about how huge my penis is and I'm thinking about getting it reduced.
"Your dating profile says you want a guy with a 9" dick. I don't care how hot you are, I'm not cutting off 3 inches for anyone." Focus: I posted in the "Cry me a river" thread that I have a super fast metabolism and it's hard to keep my weight up. Along those lines, I'm about 10-15 lbs. under where my healthy weight is, and I'd like that back. To that end, I have been working out regularly and eating a lot more, with the goal of hitting my healthy weight by the time I go to Peru in September. Alt-Focus: My memory fucking sucks. I can remember computer shit if someone mentioned something in passing five years ago, but tell me your name and I'll have forgotten it by the time it escapes your lips. I've tried tricks like repeating it back or associating the name with something... so far, nothing has worked. I keep trying, though, because I constantly feel like an idiot when people come up to me and greet me by name like I should know theirs.
In February of this year, I had (without getting too deep and emotional with you assholes) a sort of life changing "epiphany" (for lack of a less cliché explanation) and decided to get my shit together. In a 48 hour span - I quit smoking, started running, started putting the right things into my body (not dick, people! vegetables, believe it or not!), cut all shitty people completely out of my life and started "getting right." I lost a shit-ton of weight and started realizing that yes, although the glass might be half empty most days, at the very least, I can fill that fucker with tequila and make the best of it. So now, rather than excelling in long-distance couch-sitting, I'm training for a 10k, then a half marathon (in Vegas), and then a full marathon (in Chicago) and I'm pretty fucking excited about it. Running changed my body and my life. Man, that sounds so pathetic when I put it into words - but it's totally true. And don't worry... I'm still putting dick into me too, kids! It does a body good.
Focus: I'm a pretty skinny guy and hate it. I eat a lot but do my best to eat healthy. I lift weights as much as possible and focus on major muscle groups. Alt. Focus: I'm a talker. I talk way too much and don't do enough listening. I tend to completely dominate conversations and often feel like I don't give the other person an opportunity to talk. Because of this, I make a conscious effort to ask questions and be aware of how much I'm talking and how much the other person is talking.
Focus: So apparently I'm the only guy here who can lose a few pounds? I'm fortunate enough to be tall (6'2"), but I could still stand to lose some weight and get in better shape. I spent 2 hours a day in my car, driving to and from school, mostly during normal breakfast and lunch times, so I ended up eating way more fast food than any human being should ever consume, and quite frankly, I'm lucky I don't weigh 300 pounds right now. Since school ended, I cut out all fast food and junk food (the most "junk" food I eat is whole grain goldfish crackers or baked chips), started using my treadmill and running outside when it is nice, and I'm down about 10 lbs over the 2 weeks, and still going (although yesterday fucked me pretty hard with nothing but BBQ to eat). My brother also just dropped off his bowflex for storage, because it didn't fit in his garage anymore, so I think I'll start at least doing basic workouts on that a few times a week, as anything is better than the nothing I was doing before. My goal is to get down below my high school weight by the time my high school reunion rolls around at the end of summer, so I've got about 30 lbs to go and about 3 months to get there. I also get a unibrow, which is apparently genetic (all my brothers and my dad suffer the same affliction), so I have to shave that every time I so much as see a hint of hair. Alt-Focus: Laziness. I can be unbelievably lazy, and I've also spent the last two weeks working to improve that. I do my best to be productive before I reward myself with video games or relaxing. This means mowing the lawn, cleaning the house or the cars, doing work for my online class, going to work, or just in general finding SOMETHING to do to feel productive and busy. The more productive I feel, the better I feel, and the more likely I am to continue working out and trying to lose weight. I've actually found that drinking a 5 hour energy in the morning has kicked my ass into gear most days, and gotten me up and running and doing things. Who knew a caffeine habit could be helpful?
Focus: I'd like to grow about 6 inches in height. My stomach bulges out, too - because I could stand to lose 10 lbs, but also because of genetics (my dad has the same bulgy stomach, as does my grandfather, though neither of them are overweight). That irritates me. I try to get around these two things by having good posture. It works, to an extent - people are usually pretty surprised when I tell them how tall (short) I really am, as they usually guess high. Alt-focus: I have a terrible tendency of procrastinating and not being able to throw my heart and soul behind things that I'm passionate about. I don't know if this is a sign that I'm not meant to do this, or whether it's just something that I have to push through.
Focus: What would you change about your physical appearance? Why? How do you address it? I hate my legs. They're kind of short and very muscular. It makes it hard to find boots and when I cross my legs, my calf bulges out and looks disgusting. The catch-22 is that I try to work out to keep the rest of my body in shape, so there's no way to lose muscle. My calves will always be big. I also think my nose is big from a profile view, but I don't care enough to do anything about it. Alt. Focus: What would you change about yourself as far as behavior? What are you doing to improve yourself? I can be a pretty bitter person. It's hard for me to be happy for someone when they get what I want. I really try focus on changing this every day.
Last year around this time I was the most overweight I had even been in my life, I was unable to find a job after graduating, and my LTR of 4 years was on the rocks. That low point wasn't so much of an epiphany, but the grain of sand that has since snowballed into getting my act together. I moved away from my hometown, found work, and started concentrating on myself for a change. It turns out that the ex couldn't-handle/didn't-want-to deal with a long distance relationship, so that simplified things even further. Focus I've lost 40lbs from my heaviest, and I'm finally at a weight where it will be mass recomposition rather that loss from this point forward. But I still have some extremely stubborn love handles than need to be eliminated. Thankfully, ketosis seems to be having an effect. Alt I am a perfectionist at heart, and have a hard time doing something unless I can do it perfectly. Because of this, I have a hard time commiting to something, or even starting anything if I'm unsure of how to do it the "right" way the first time. I'm getting better, because I know logically that 70% now is better than 100% when it's too damn late - but it's still hard reconciling that with what my gut tells me.
Focus: I really wish I had better skin. I've tried every product on the market and been to countless dermatologist appointments, but alas, I am 29 with the skin of a 16 year old. It's not really noticeable in the winter, but in the summer it's horrid. Alt Focus: I try to push myself to be more of a 'self starter'. If it's something i have to do, no problem. Once I get going on something, I roll like a freight train, but it's hard for me to find the motivation to put an optional idea into motion. Or would that be lazy?
Focus: I guess the two vainest things that I have no control over would be my nose and hair. I have a half hook nose. It looks good in pictures in straight on shots but I think it looks terrible in profile shots, thus I don't think I photograph real well. Fuck rhinoplasty I still like my face and don't want to wind up like the bitch from Ferris Bueller. My hair on the other hand can be fixed with a no guard electric razor. I have half curly half thick afro puff type hair that is insanely stubborn to do anything to. I always wished I had long blond surfer hair but Id have to use more scalp scalding products than your average black woman. Kind of looks like the dudes from Wolfmother, except Im not a rock star. But hey at least Im not bald... yet. I do constantly work on working on my beer gut. I rarely get the right mix of diet and exercise aligned right to burn it all off. Hopefully this Insanity thing can help burn off the 20 or so pounds. Alt Focus: As far as beer is concerned I was I didn't have to use it as such a crux to be as outgoing as I am while out drinking. I drink ONLY to be sociable and have that liquid courage to hit on women. But since drinking is tied to basically every social outing people see it as a good thing and not self medicating. Basically I just wish I was that outgoing/less inhibited around girls.
If I could change something physically, I'd probably go for more muscular arms. I'm a pretty skinny guy, and it seems like a lot of chicks dig muscular arms. I actually think I have a decent frame to put on a little bit of weight, I just really hate weight-lifting. In personality terms, I'd be more decisive. I think. I'm one of those annoying people who usually answers, "I don't care" when you're trying to figure out where to go to dinner, mostly because I very rarely care.
Focus: I have some more normal issues I'm not particularly fond of with my body, but to throw something different into the mix one of the things I'm most self-conscious about is my teeth. The weird part about this is that they don't look bad now (although they could be whiter), but I think most of it is left over from growing up either before I got braces and then, since I had InvisAlign, always worrying about whether something was stuck in there. Also, the past couple of times I went to a dentist, they were really bad. Half of my two front teeth are fake (thanks to when I was thrown off a horse - yeah connecting thread of TiBette horse love!) and I felt the orthodontist fuck something up, shrug, and just keep on keeping on but I was too drugged up to do anything at the time. Now I think everyone can notice, or that I have fillings, or I just always think something's wrong with them and that people, somehow, can tell. It's weird. Alt-Focus While I like that I'm mellow and "down to Earth," that combined with being soft-spoken and short (or at least not tall) makes it really difficult for me to command any sort of authority. I don't want to turn into an abrasive, loud-mouth bitch, but I've been working on trying to cultivate a bit more of an Alpha Female presence so people will take me more seriously and won't find it so easy to walk over me. It's been coming along over the years, but right now it's pretty unpredictable when I can manage it.
Focus: I'm happy with how I look. I could always use more muscle tone and maybe get rid of some of the nastier looking moles, but if I had a genie bottle with three wishes, my physical appearance wouldn't get a wish. Alt Focus: If I could get together the will power and patience to get past the planning stages of some of my side projects (video/board games that I'd like to create), that'd be super.
Focus: When I was hitting the gym 5 days a week and eating accordingly, I went from 152 to 178 in about 6 months, and was on pace to easily put on another 10-15 lbs. of solid muscle. That was 1 year ago. Now that I have no gym access and can't afford to eat 3500 calories/day, I'm down to 143 and look like a Holocaust victim. I'd like to get back to where I was before; I felt amazing, physically and mentally. Other Focus: Not being a perfectionist and so damned competitive all of the time. Even trivial things like golf and video games, I can't enjoy them fully if I'm not succeeding. I've been working on letting things slide and not taking them so seriously.
Focus: What would you change about your physical appearance? Why? How do you address it? Like many women, I always feel like I could lose a few pounds and be happier with my personal appearance. I eat healthfully, try to watch my portion sizes, and I sporadically exercise. I could improve by leaps and bounds on the exercise part, though. I'm also not a fan of my boobs. I know, cry me a river. But I think they're just too big for my frame, and I feel like I'm just lugging these suckers around as punishment for some undetermined infraction against God and nature. I diet in an attempt to get them to shrink. I wear minimizing bras and/or modesty panels under everything remotely low-cut in a last-ditch attempt to make them less obvious. I'm considering breast-reduction surgery, but the cost of titty-deflating is astronomical. What would you change about yourself as far as behavior? What are you doing to improve yourself? I am trying to grow a backbone. I don't want to become an inflexible bitch, but I've noticed that I stretch myself too thin very, very often because I'm unable/unwilling to stand up for my wants and needs. I'm a "yes-woman" to the core, and it doesn't do me any favors. I like agreeing to requestsbecause it makes others happy and I like for everyone to be happy! You mean, if I say yes to this thing, you'll smile and feel relieved? OKAY! Yay! I'm trying to say the word "no." It's only working moderately.