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The "Sad Generation" and Partying

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. Frebis

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    Why do people have/ want kids? Is it boredom? Do you get so bored with your every day life that you need to complicate it for the next 20+ years?

    The only time I have ever really thought having a kid looked cool was when I saw people doing things like taking them to a baseball game, teaching them to ski or golf. That is mainly because I wanted to be doing those activities instead of whatever else I was doing. I thought it looked like a great excuse. "No honey, I can't go to dinner with your family. I have to take the Junior skiing". How can you say no to that???

    In all seriousness, I am married and I own a home. So I guess I am 2/3 of the way to what they consider being an adult. I still drink every weekend, but not to the excess I did when I was in my mid 20s. I also prefer top shelf liquor and craft beer instead of Natty Ice and Everclear. I'm sure I will have kids soon, but as of right now I'm not ready to give up my life. I love my life. I had two friends with kids, and I have literally not seen them since they had their offspring. Maybe when more of my friends begin having kids the actual want to raise a little one will show up. Until then I guess I will retain the last 1/3 of my adolescence.
     
  2. Misanthropic

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    I'm similar to your friend. College for me was working anywhere from one full time job to 3 part time jobs, while taking a full courseload on my way to a science degree, and had one serious girlfriend/fiance through 95% of my college years. I drank here and there, went to parties and concerts, etc., but college for me wasn't about looking around, soaking it in, and partying my face off (not that there's anything wrong with all that). It was about doing what I needed to do to get where i wanted to be.

    Once I was out of college and making money in the career I had chosen, the kid gloves were off.

    An honest answer - part of it was that it felt like it was that time in my life to take that step, and part of it was that I genuinely wanted a kid, to experience raising someone, to try to do my best to raise a "good", well-adjusted, happy kid.

    Frankly, when I look around I think less people should have kids. It's clearly not for everyone, and societal pressures often results in those least-equipped to have kids popping out a handful of them. And having a kid means forever forfeiting your peace of mind - you worry about their health, their education, that creepy guy that lives down the block, bullies, car accidents, driving, drinking, dating, on and on.

    I know, I make it sound so appealing. But it has been amazing to watch my beautiful little girl grow up and become a person. Not just a burden or a responsibility, but a person that I enjoy being with, and laughing with.
     
  3. Aetius

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    Every time one of these condescending articles appears, I take a step back and ask why the author cares. The answer, inevitably, is that they want something from "this generation," and are attempting to use shame and a false air of superiority to get it. Is the writer a woman in her thirties complaining about video games and "hook up culture"? She wants a gainfully employed sperm machine. Is it a Baby Boomer business owner complaining about these useless millennial workers? He wants an underpaid grunt to boost his net worth without having to deal with those dirty foreigners. Is it some old piece of shit just complaining into the wind? He wants a stronger tax base to pay for his retirement because he blew all his savings years ago.

    Fuck 'em.
     
  4. Omegaham

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    This, all the way. I don't think "this generation" is any different from the last. Sure, we're the first generation to pretty much grow up with widespread Internet access, with all of the positives and negatives that it entails. I don't think that it makes much of a difference. If people are bitching about "hookup culture," the Free Love movement of the 60s was far, far worse in that regard. If people are complaining about manchildren, those guys wouldn't have been good husbands forty years ago, either; they would've been drunk assholes who masked their lack of fulfillment with alcohol and good old-fashioned spousal abuse. Oh, and you wouldn't be able to divorce him without your family disowning you, either. If people are complaining about the lack of good workers, A Message to Garcia was written in 1899 and complains about the fact that good workers are almost impossible to find and hold onto.

    Human nature doesn't change. If you stick the Baby Boomers in our shoes, they'd be doing the exact same shit as us.

    Another thing that won't change is the endless line of retards who insist on declaring that This Generation is fucking everything up. People have probably been saying that shit since ancient Egyptian times. "Oh man, they don't even try building big pyramids anymore. What happened to these shiftless losers and terrible leaders?"
     
  5. CanisDirus

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    As I'm only twenty four as of a couple days ago, I totally agree with that. I live in a rural area and I already have friends married/having kids, but I'm like at this point totally unwilling to commit to a kid. As it stands today, my basic mode of life is to find gainful employment, get through my schooling, find a job in my chosen field I schooled for and let the pieces and chips fall where they may.
     
  6. E. Tuffmen

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    Fuck it. I've got kids and I'm drunk right now. Guess I'm not "grown up". Well, at least their sleeping.
     
  7. Crown Royal

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    No, it's just some people don't realize that your life, in fact, DOESN'T "end" when you have kids. It changes, but you're not buying a tombstone for fun. You just have to ask yourself "Am I ready to trade this lifestyle with a new one?"

    ...if the answer is "no" don't do it. It's your life and nobody else's, you do what you want. And you can still have plenty of fun if you're a parent, plus there's the bonus of discovering new kinds of fun (PG rated variety).
     
  8. wexton

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    Yea, out of the group of 4 couples that hang out, 3 of us have kids. We don't hang out as much as we did before, but that is to be expected. One there life revolves around there kids, set schedules for everything, they moved into their kids life, we rarely see them. One isn't to bad, but once the kid goes to bed, both parents cant leave. Us we drag out kid out, if she isn't tired and past her bed time, our daughter will let us know when she is tired. If she is in bed, one of us can go out, we don't do it every night but if one of us wants to go out we do. The one couple that doesn't have a kids said to us "your life didn't stop because you have a kid."
     
  9. katokoch

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    I agree with others, I think this is yet another repetition of the comments I've heard many times about my generation. I'm just surprised to see it come from VICE and not "Pissed Off Old Man Monthly" or whatever.

    Are you waiting for your destiny to appear, or are you creating it? Not like I feel that I have a timeline to follow, but at least I see where I want my success to be and can work towards it. Maybe I've just been lucky enough to discover what I want to do, or at least feel that way.

    When my parents were my ripe 'ol age of 25 they were married, homeowners, and had twins on the way. Meanwhile I'm not engaged yet and rent my room. Granted they grew up in a different time and culture than I did, but damn. I also grew up thinking it was normal for your dad to go into the office and work for several hours every weekend and bring their kid with to play on the secretary's computer. He still works his ass off today, even when he could slow down. Can't take for granted how he (and my mom) helped me get a rock solid start because of that, but everything has drawbacks. I started college feeling carefree and seeking a good buzz but didn't graduate with the "fuck it, keep the party going" attitude- I had loans to pay and didn't feel secure with my job for a long time. Felt lots of pressure not to fuck up after having to dig myself out of a hole in college with bad grades. Part of me regrets that a bit and wants to relax, but the other half doesn't want to stop whatever momentum I've built and doesn't like feeling inactive anyways (thanks, Dad).

    Kids? Sure, eventually, but no way in hell would I want to start that now. Both my girlfriend and I have too much stuff we want to accomplish and things to do, places to see before we take on that responsibility.

    History will repeat itself.
     
    #29 katokoch, Dec 11, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. shimmered

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    Fact. And treating it like life is 'over' is a damn good way to wind up divorced and paying child support.
     
  11. Jimmy James

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    This thread is timely. My wife peed on a stick and now has a doctor's appointment on Monday.

    I'm 32 with a mortgage, two dogs and apparently a baby on the way. I spent a day last week playing a video game from essentially sun up to sun down like the shut-in I was when I was a teenager. The only differences that I can see between my generation and those prior is that the hobbies are more numerous and public thanks to social media.

    I imagine society used to be a bunch of groups of people huddled around separate fires having a quiet conversation. Occasionally, a single person would move from group to group. Now I imagine a great mass of people, loudly exclaiming what they're doing, their likes and dislikes. I'm standing in the middle of it all, listening to a cacophony of noise. I don't want to know certain things about certain people, but now I do, thanks to the bullhorn they are using.

    Human behavior isn't that different. The volume at which its being broadcast is.
     
  12. TJMax

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    The only thing that matters as far as being a mature adult goes is financial independence. That's it. Anything else you can file under "your recreation isn't my recreation, and is therefore bad," and the people saying that can kiss my rosy red, 39 year old single ass. The human race isn't exactly declining in numbers.
     
  13. manbehindthecurtain

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    I just turned 33 and have two kids. My wife and I are both very busy professionals. I was always a bit old school in terms of work ethic and I also think my attitude on a lot of social norms in my generation were informed because I worked largely with boomers for the first ten years of my career. I never understood the hookup culture and knew I wanted to finish having kids by the time I turned 35 so I'm not decrepit when they are in their late twenties. I look forward to having beers on the golf course with my sons in 20 years.


    Biggest life stage issue I'm having now is I am busting my ass 12 hours a day and paying 45k out of pocket for childcare. The fixed costs of having a dual income household with kids are incredible. My wife and I knew this going in but it does make me miss the disposable income I had when I was in my 20s. In terms of social stuff I drank way more in business school than I did in college and did far better academically at a top tier institution. Maturity helps you manage all this so as long as its social and you're not performing, as long as you are aware of the health risks I think its fine... The most powerful thing have learned in the past three years is the value of free time. I have roughly four hours each day to see my kids, my wife, do errands, and chores, and 50% of that time is spent with kids. If I can get 15-20 minutes to have a drink or chill out in my living room that's a win. My kids are the most important thing to me but they don't get as much time as my job. It is hard to square that every day, but I rationalize it by knowing they are thriving and when I am with them I give them everything I have.

    A fortune 50 CEO once told me you can only have two out of three: career, family, or friends. I'm finding this increasingly true just do to the sheer time suck that a career takes. I still believe I am investing in myself and my life's work and legacy. I miss hanging out and fancy dinners that Juice talks about but not enough to give up what I have and what I think I will have in 5, 10, and 20 years from now.

    As for the 'no one says they wish they spent more time at the office when they are on their death bed' - I survived cancer when I was 25 and set path for this life then. If it came back the only thing I would regret would be not having time to finish.