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The REAL Memorial Day Drunk Thread! USA! USA! 5/28/10

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, May 28, 2010.

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  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Might not be memorial day here in the Great White North, but any day is a good day for a 12 hour slow-cooked pork shoulder, corn on the cob, bean salad, and a couple of bottles of killer Aussie Shiraz.

    Fuck yeah.
     
    #101 Nettdata, May 30, 2010
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    My neighbour completely lost his card-carrying shit and threatened me today, this tall skinny bitch that I thought was my friend totally lost his fucking onions on me today with no provocation in broad daylight. He's going through a divorce, but he's not acting like an adult and the stress has him acting like a jonesing meth addict. He got really puffy and in my face, and tried to stand over me because he's five inches taller than me to show his so-called dominance.

    I know he may be having a shit time so bully for him, but that really killed my buzz on my only day off this week, and it was completely uncalled for. I have a family of my own, but hours later I'm still simmering enough that I want to walk over to his house and stomp him flatter than a cheap pizza. He pulled every insult he could think of out of his ass, directing them at my wife as well, who has watched his daughter for him while he went out. I don't need to start a 'hood battle, but I'm considering going fucking Rumsfield on this ding-dong, sniper rifle and all.
    [​IMG]
     
    #102 Crown Royal, May 30, 2010
  3. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    If I go to bed alone tonight, I am a failure.
     
    #103 Fernanthonies, May 31, 2010
  4. jennitalia

    jennitalia
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    I would actually say that makes you a winner. You win when you get them to leave after. Nothing is worse than having to cuddle up and shit.
     
    #104 jennitalia, May 31, 2010
  5. Primer

    Primer
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    I like cuddling.
     
    #105 Primer, May 31, 2010
  6. Bourbondownthehouse

    Bourbondownthehouse
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    Disturbed

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    Fag.
     
    #106 Bourbondownthehouse, May 31, 2010
  7. katokoch

    katokoch
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    Know what fixes ridiculous sunburns? Drinking from 4 pm to now. $1 whiskey and cokes. Good times.
     
    #107 katokoch, May 31, 2010
  8. ssycko

    ssycko
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    You're just mad because the only thing you get to cuddle with are DUDES

    Oh absolutely. People look at my bookshelf in my bathroom when the most esoteric book on there is Freakonomics and, well, freak out that I'm reading something so "smart." I keep Freakonomics and other books like that near the bathroom because they're light reading, and when I tell people the other books I've been reading (that are a bit heavier) they just give me a blank stare and say they only read fiction. Fiction of the Harry Potter variety. Ugh.
     
    #108 ssycko, May 31, 2010
  9. carpenter

    carpenter
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    Disturbed

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    Fixed that for you.
     
    #109 carpenter, May 31, 2010
  10. TheExtortionist

    TheExtortionist
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    Village Idiot

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    What's everyone up to? Im just about to start a poker tourny online. Should be a good one.
     
    #110 TheExtortionist, May 31, 2010
  11. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

    BeCoolBitch_BeCool
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    Disturbed

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    Fun bar story.

    I'm standing by a pool table with my friends while I see a girl in the corner of my eye taking pictures of me.

    I quickly inform her "I'm not very photogenic and don't appreciate having my picture taken. What's going on here?"
    "I'm sorry but you look like my friend right here did six years ago."

    We then go on to find out that me and her friend have a lot in common, most importantly that we are both aware of the fact there is a Highlander movie remake being made.

    Fun quote of the weekend:

    Me: "Sometimes when I'm bored in class I try to name all 50 states. I always leave out a few and I usually end up really disappointed in myself."
    Friend: "I do a similar game where I try to name all the guys I've slept with. I also usually just end up really disappointed in myself."
     
    #111 BeCoolBitch_BeCool, May 31, 2010
  12. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    So I am watching The Empire Strikes Back, and all I can think of is my boss calling James Earl Jones: James Earl Ray.
     
    #112 kuhjäger, May 31, 2010
  13. PeaMan

    PeaMan
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    Average Idiot

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    Spooning is great. It means them shutting up and me falling asleep.
     
    #113 PeaMan, May 31, 2010
  14. Durej

    Durej
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    Disturbed

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    I'm drunk and its 2PM. Fuck my roommates right now they start this whole party thing and leave me to clean up the mess. I enjoy the single life but right now I almost want a girl friend so I have a reason to quit and got to bed with no responsibilities. I end up playing pong all night with these manatees while everyone in the house falls asleep! You know its bad when your drunk and still wouldn't fuck either of these 2 chicks, I mean really. Sorry this is sounding more like a rant but Jesus Ive been at it for 2 hours by myself and its not worth it anymore so I'm going to bed.
     
    #114 Durej, May 31, 2010
  15. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

    Of course after she left I realized I may actually like this girl. However, like I've said before, I am emotionally incapable of being even the least bit close to someone, so I doubt this will last any time at all.

    Such is life.
     
    #115 Fernanthonies, May 31, 2010
  16. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    We are having an awesome thunderstorm right now. When Oklahoma weather gets really severe, it sucks, but when we just get the standard heavy rain/thunder and lightening, it is fucking awesome. Few things I love more than to just sit inside and listen to the rain pour and the thunder role.

    So when we stood just inside the glass front door and made out while listening to the thunder and the rain...it may have been one of the hottest things I've ever done.
     
    #116 Fernanthonies, May 31, 2010
  17. Primer

    Primer
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    It also means I get to hold her boobies all night long.

    Southern Gal is off and gone home. My back looks like hamburger and I think she pulled a clump of my hair out.
     
    #117 Primer, May 31, 2010
  18. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    I'm celebrating our American freedoms with a tall glass of Coca-cola, vanilla ice cream, and Wild Turkey 101.

    It doesn't get any more American than that. Fuck yeah!
     
    #118 BL1Y, May 31, 2010
  19. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Yesterday's BBQ was a success. Waking up a 6 am to start the pork shoulder in the smoker was worth the sacrifice, everyone loved it.

    Spending today working through a Sweetwater Tackle Box (micro-brew variety pack) and watching "America: The Story of Us".
     
    #119 scotchcrotch, May 31, 2010
  20. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Dibs on Primer.
     
    #120 Dcc001, May 31, 2010
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