The REAL Memorial Day Drunk Thread! USA! USA! 5/28/10

My family used to do stupidly huge Memorial Day bashes (200+ pounds of bbq, kegs, bands, etc.) in our front yard. However, these days the holiday will be more tranquil.

My friend is over from England, so we'll be doing a very American barbecue by the pool fueled by delicious grilled meat, loud rock and roll and punctuated with short back-road trips on a Harley before we send her off on Tuesday. My contribution will be kebabs with Spanish chorizo, peppers, onions, and a spicy teriyaki/mango marinade.

 

Starting the weekend off with a bad whiskey hangover...beer before liqour, never sicker situation. I'm now considering road tripping to Chicago to visit a friend to get the hell out of dodge, but wondering how I can snake my way out of the family gathering on Sunday.

 

Three day weekend for me. Second in a row! Take that; or something.

 

I'm moving... hoo fucking ray.

Though to be fair, that does involve me getting out of work early today, setting up the brand new plasma TV, the brand new PS3 and the new tv stand i'm buying tonight and playing video games tonight instead of unpacking boxes. I'm mature. And I need to take advantage of the only night I'm going to have there without my girlfriend who will be at her parents tomorrow night.

 

I am off at 11:30am today to get some shit done. Well, that is what I told my work. In reality I am going to go to the sports club, sit in the hot tub and drink a beer after working out.

I also managed to make it so that I am not in until noon on Tuesday, so technically I have a 4 day weekend. I love working that shit.

Unfortunately I won't be going on my usual 3 day weekend bender as I have a visit from the woman who birthed me. I don't mind it so much as she insists on paying for everything when she visits, so I will see if I can get a ton of groceries.

What is awesome though is the weather this weekend. 80s tomorrow. This fucking week has been cold and shitty, and rainy, and usually the rainy season ends in March. Fuck that bullshit.

 

Waiting for my ride to get off work and then cruising down to Austin. In approximately 12 hours I will be hot, sweaty and making bad decisions in the streets of sweet ATX. Tomorrow I will be hotter, sweatier and on an innertube floating down the Guadalupe all day. For those of you who cannot discern sarcasm/self-deprecation, I will be wearing SPF 50, shades and a hat. Cause wet bangs and white trash sunburns are NOT cute. Bring on drunk river shennanigans! This is my last hoorah before shit gets hardcore applying for doctorate programs.

 

While you Yanks are celebrating your long-weekend I am going to Edmonton (see: Shit-hole of Canada) to be the Best Man in my buddy's wedding. Normally this would be great, only this particular situation is a little different:

1) The weather is absolute horse-shit right now. I'm talking tons of rain and a threat of snow.

2) It's a dry wedding! The bride's parents are uber-religious and would never let their daughter get married if booze were involved. Good thing I'll have a flask of whiskey in my pocket. I won't be the least bit surprised if my 'best-man speech' ends up on You Tube under the FAIL category.

3) Apparently the wedding ceremony is going to be over an hour long! What ever happened to brief, in-and-out weddings?! Seriously, if/when I get married it is going to be the shortest ceremony ever followed by the longest, rowdiest reception ever. Here's hoping this weekend turns out to be a great success because right now it's not looking too good.

 

Tonight: Birthday shenanigans at Gingerman
Tomorrow: 2 pool parties
Sunday-Monday: Lake Texoma boat/camping trip.

I'm going to need about 2 weeks of detox after this weekend.

 

Got out out of work at 8am and immediately started the weekend off with some Raspberry Cough (not cough syrup) and a couple of ice cold Utica Clubs. Now it's time to catch a few z's, and hit up a co-workers "wine friday" around 8. Got a bottle of Bully Hill Love My Goat red (sounds like something toytoy would drink) for that, as well as a bottle of Ommegang Belgian Pale Ale.

Saturday I'll be headed down to Oneonta, Ny to catch one of my new favorite bands Jimkata. Sort of a mix between Umphreys Mcgee, the Disco Biscuits, moe., and a dash of modest mouse. Their album Burn My Money is available for free download at http://www.jimkata.com. The cafe will have Ommegang Rare Vos on tap, for only $3.50 per pint. I foresee getting smashed. Spending the night at my friend's house down there, then...

touring Brewery Ommegang in Cooperstown, NY on sunday. This will surely be pregamed. After that, back home to celebrate a friend's 23rd birthday. All in all, not a bad plan for my first free weekend in 2 months, and after working 60 hours in 7 days to ensure I can have this weekend off.

 

Everything is going in a box this weekend, in anticipation for the big move.
There have been almost fistfights over what's not making the trip.
We have a 75lb. dog kennel that would cost over $100 to ship. I paid $50 for it so, it's going to a new home.
And there's the bell, carpenters wife comes out swinging wildly hoping for the quick knockout with apathetic non-give a shitness...It's not like the dog gives a shit either, she always wants to sleep wherever I'm sitting.
I think there's a bottle of something with my name on it this weekend.

 

I was supposed to have Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off to help the wife celebrate her 30th, but the boss fucked up and scheduled me for Saturday night, so now I have to bartend a 50th class reunion. I see lots of Old-Fashioneds, scotch, white wine, and no tipping in my future. Oh joy. At least I have Sunday and Monday off, which I'll need, since the tournament (biggest week of the year) starts a week from Monday, and the setup will take the entire weekend before.

I think I'll drink my entire handle of Wild Turkey this weekend, followed by a batch of Sangria.

 

Ditto. Cab arrives at 4pm, my bags are packed and I'm ready. Never been to Austin, but spent quite a bit of time in Dallas...looking forward to seeing what the "Liberal capitol of TX" is like.

I have taken measures to blend in while I'm there.

 

Went and got some of that legal herbal inscense that was mentioned last week. I'm feeling good. Inspired creating new avatar after laughing my ass off at this - Only Yankees fans...

 

Was watching the game last night and that was pretty funny. Hey, it could be worse, he could be a Phillies fan and stuck his finger down his throat to puke on her.

 

Well, I had posted in the rant and rave thread that it is time for me to start eating healthy and exercising because I need to lose some weight (thanks to everyone who provided tips). I've been doing okay so far this week, but starting this sort of thing right before Memorial Day may have been a bad idea. So I've decided that this week was for me to ease into riding my bike again and eating a bit healthier, and then next week I will be starting the change hard core.

Tomorrow we will be spending most of the day at the Paseo Arts Festival. The Paseo is a pretty cool little area in the city and its even better during the arts festival. Lots of beer drinking, some good music, and people watching.

Sunday we are having a cookout at the house, which I'm sure I'll get real good and drunk during that. I've decided I'm going to try my hand at grilling some shish kabobs.

Also, my cousin is back from bootcamp and apparently got engaged right off the bat, so I'm hoping to get together with him to drink some beers.

Not sure if I will do anything tonight, I might need to save my energy for what is to come.

 

If that's from a porno you must link it.

 

Just watched Pitch Black, and Chater was OK in it.

 

Alright, which one of you fuckers wrote this email?

 

Goddamnit, plans for the three-day weekend are falling through left and right. At this point it may be a weekend of getting drunk at home and playing Red Dead Redemption. Working on a bottle of Tanqueray Rangpur (the Target by my apartment only had diet tonic which, it turns out, isn't bad).

Seriously though, if anybody in the Dallas area wants to hang out, I'll probably be available.

Hotwheelz: You should bang that chick. Trashy, stupid chicks give excellent head (unfortunately I know this from experience)