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The other talk

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by effinshenanigans, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. NurseNikki

    NurseNikki
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    With a 13 yr old daughter who started high school and got her period ON THE SAME DAY, and a 10 yr old son who announced at the breakfast table that his pajama pants were in the hamper because they were 'stuck to his leg when he woke up', the past couple of months have felt like a non stop parade of ...talks

    I'm very open with my kids. I operate on the belief that if they are old enough to be asking the question, then they are old enough to get an honest answer. So far, we have touched on the subject of drugs a handful of times. The kids often ask me what was wrong with the person I looked after at work, and when it is an OD (Which is happening more and more these days) it naturally progresses to a conversation about drugs.

    So far, the conversations have been about the dangerous shit, like ice, crack, heroin etc. I know that in my kids heads, marijuana falls into the same category as the others... and that's fine with me at the moment. At some point I'm sure it will change, and when the time comes I'll have an honest conversation about my past and my use of marijuana. I'll also tell them the following:

    I don't think marijuana leads to the use of harder drugs, for the most part. But I know it can be start of the slippery slope.... for some.

    There has been studies that show a link between marijuana use and the onset of schizophrenia in young men, who are already predisposed.

    So, do I want my kids to use it? Fuck no.

    The slightest risk, no matter how small, is too big of a risk with my kids. But that doesn't mean I will lie to them to scare them away from trying it.

    I've worked hard so far to cultivate a 100% honesty policy with my kids. The hope is, that by the time they reach the 'fuck you Mum' stage, a tiny bit of that honesty policy will still remain.

    The above quote is pretty much what I tell my kids any time this subject comes up. No matter what time of the day or night it is, I WILL come get you. I will come get your friends. No questions asked.
     
  2. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    When I was eleven or twelve, my dad sat me down and told me that whenever I wanted to I could always have a beer or a glass of wine or whatever in his presence. He also said that if I wanted to try drugs, to let him know and he'd make sure that it was in a safe place from a reliable source. NO, my father is not a pot-smoking hippie. To my knowledge, he's never done drugs in my lifetime and I've never seen him drink anything heavier than beer or wine. He was completely honest about his youth, though, acknowledging that he had tried pretty much everything under the sun, and that it ultimately didn't impress him.

    He made sure to drive the following two points home when he was telling me all this:

    1. For everything you do, there is a consequence.
    2. When you play, you pay.

    So if you get hammered and stoned on a Sunday night and have to work a twelve hour shift the following Monday at 7am? Too fucking bad. Get up and work it. If you want to have possession of something illegal and you get caught? That's going to involve the law. Etcetera. He made sure to impress on me that, while the choice was mine, so were the repercussions.

    It's worked, too, because I can count the times in my life that I've been drunk on both hands and I've never so much as experimented with cigarettes or drugs. If I ever have kids, I'll follow his lead. I'll also direct them to talk to grandpa, since I have no street cred when it comes to getting high.
     
  3. satan rae

    satan rae
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    I will be doing the exact opposite of my parents when/if it comes to talking to my kids about weed/drugs.

    Both my parents smoke weed and have been doing so for as far back as I can remember. They never hid their drug use from me, {weed was kept in a box on the coffee table, joints were lit after supper} but they also didn't explain to me what it was, leaving me to think it was something totally normal that all parents do.
    I found out my parents were smoking drugs from the nice RCMP lady who did the "drugs are bad" presentation in third grade. I was shocked that my seemingly perfect parents were "bad" people. When I came home that day I asked my mom about it and was told to basically mind my own business and not tell anyone what I knew.

    From that point on they made more of an effort to hide their pot and smoke in their bedroom with scented candles, but I was not a stupid child and realized they were still doing it.

    When I got to Jr. High and started to smoke cigarettes and then later weed I stupidly thought my parents would be cool with it since they did both themselves and was super annoyed to find out they were not cool with it, in fact they were incredibly NOT cool with it.
    My mother lost her mind the first time she found papers in my schoolbag and I was grounded for three weeks. I was 15 at the time and couldn't grasp the logic behind her argument, it was ok for her to get baked because she was an adult and not ok because I was a child...huh?
    My issue with her argument was the fact pot is illegal for everyone and there was no age limit on getting busted.
    During high school I wasn't a big drinker (still true) and was known as the girl who could always find weed no matter the circumstance and still vividly remember the day my mom asked me to get her pot. From that day on we seemed to have a unspoken arrangement, I wouldn't throw my drug use in her face and continue to hide it and she wouldn't loot my room looking for weed when she was out.

    I still wonder if I would have became the weed head I am today without the circumstances of my up bringing and know I will be much, much more open with my own children when and if the time comes.

    I apologize for the ramble, I am pretty stoned.
     
  4. Pink Candy

    Pink Candy
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    I grew up in one of the richest counties in America. As you know, little white girls from ritzy towns never do any drugs. And if they do, the parents are defective in not teaching the females how to behave correctly.

    At least, that's what my mother was raised to believe since she grew up in the same town. My father grew up in a more blue collar area but since my uncle enjoyed frying his brain with weed and acid, he grew to loathe anything that would alter your mind. This would include antidepressants and any kind of psychiatric drug.

    Growing up, there were dire warnings of beatings, murder and being kicked out on my ass if I ever came home drunk or stoned. The irony of the alcohol part is my father being a hardcore violent alcoholic. My mother is a crazed goody goody that, in 52 years of existence, has never gotten drunk. I should add that this is not a religious nut. This is someone that says "I don't like how alcohol makes me feel." So, any experimentation of any substance would not be met with rational behavior.

    They found out I was experimenting with pot and E when I was 20. I don't know how, but I think someone blabbed that I nearly jumped out a fifth story window after taking PCP laced Ecstasy. The parentals confronted me months after I finally swore off all illegal substances for good. I was expecting blows to rain upon me, along with my tuition bill going unpaid.

    I was met with my father calmly stating "If you do it again, I will kick you out." That was the extent of his punishment. My mother stated in a condescending tone "After watching your father's nightly drunk binges, I thought YOU of all people would stay away from anything addictive." She took the news of my drug use harder than my father and would bring it up to anyone that would listen so people would harange me about what a naughty girl I was. For months I had panic issues due to the laced E and everytime I did, she'd haughtily tell me "I have no sympathy for you. You did this to yourself."

    I never plan to have children. If our birth control fails I have no idea what to tell my kids about pot. I really don't. The reason I used it was mostly to forget that I had to come home to these two deeply flawed people that called themselves Mom and Dad.

    Seems that'll be a bridge to cross if I ever come to it.
     
  5. NeonWraith

    NeonWraith
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    I've been sat here for about 15 minutes trying to think of an answer to this, and I've got to admit it has me stumped.

    Personally, I've had no real experience with non-prescription drugs (though I did spend 6 years of my life on various anti-depressants, been off them for about 3 months now), so I wouldn't know where to begin. The one thing I can point to as being of impact to my decision making in this regard is my father.

    My dad was, the last time I saw him (around a decade ago) a pretty heavy stoner, and aside from the loneliness of being told to go and entertain myself for hours at a time when I was pretty young (8/9-12ish), when I grew older it was really hard to think of getting stoned as a cool idea 'cause my *dad* did it, so I just avoided the whole scene.

    Though I'd like to think that if I did have kids some day I'd be able to at least give them an honest view of it: That it's not the worst thing you can do and no matter your choice I'll support you, but as with anything else there are consequences for your actions.