Anything? I'm going off the walls crazy so I'd swap bodies with Santa Claus. Not the old bearded dude the mall hires for the Christmas season, but the actual real deal. Sure the fat bearded look isn't exactly the look women go for, and I'd have to work my ass off come the 24th of December but... While physically unappealing, SC in theory can score some pretty decent women by virtue that he/I could pull anything out of thin air as a gift. Stuffed animals, Ipods, jewelry, whatever the hell people give each other for Christmas it all comes from me. Legalized breaking and entering for the one day a year expensive items (still in the wrapping) are on blatant display. Drop a few Dollar Tree toys in the stockings, and sell the good stuff on Ebay come the 26th. Hordes of MILF's lined up at the mall starting right after Thanksgiving, a decent percentage of which are likely single or divorced. Who are they there to see? Me! Granted I've got to deal with the inane demands of their spawn, but if he/I play my cards right, Santa might just get some milk for his cookies right from the source. On the same train of thought; nobody looks twice if 14-16 year old jailbait sits on Santa's lap.
I wish I could give my son most of the FACTUAL information that I have in my brain. I don't want to give him any of my opinions, but I wish he could learn some of the things that I (and many other people) have had to learn the hard way. So to stay on topic, I wish I could be Li'l Bandit.