You know how they say there's strength in numbers? Spoiler Yeah, tell that to 6 million Jews stolen from the master:
How many feminists does it take to wallpaper a room? Spoiler It depends on how thinly you slice them.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Spoiler This punchline is offensive, sexist and a product of Rape Culture.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Spoiler Ha! You think feminists can actually change anything?
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? Spoiler So she can moan with the other. What is the difference between a black man and a bicylce? Spoiler A bycylce doesn't sing if you put chains on it. Why do women wear white on their wedding day? Spoiler To match the other kitchen appliances.
Why are hurricanes normally named after women? Spoiler Because when they come they're wild and wet, but when they leave they take your house and car with them. How do you blind a woman? Spoiler Put her behind a windshield. What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Spoiler Batman can go to the store without Robin. Why does it suck to be a black Jew? Spoiler You have to sit in the back of the oven.
What's funnier than a dead baby in a dumpster? Spoiler Dead baby in 5 dumpsters How do you make a dead baby float? Spoiler Take your foot off its head
What should you do if somebody has a seizure in the bathtub? Spoiler Throw in the laundry. Why do men beat their wives? Spoiler because they just don't FUCKING LISTEN.
I realized something about my contribution on page 2, and have a confession to make: I think I got all of those off of the TMMB/RMMB. I also thought of something else: If you're looking for offensive song lyrics, look no further than Chris Barnes era Cannibal Corpse: Spoiler I was once a man before I transformed into this molester, freshly deceased children You have born, torn by my rape The dead are not safe, the lifeless child corpse I will violate Pleasure from the dead, complete satisfaction I open the coffin Sick thoughts run through my head as I stare At the dead, over and over, I can't escape I begin the dead sex, licking her young, rotted orifice I cum in her cold cunt, shivering with ecstasy for nine days straight I do the same She becomes by dead, decayed child sex slave her neck I hack, cutting through the back I use her mouth to eject Here I cum, blood gushes from bleeding black blood her head disconnected As I came, viciously I cut, through her jugular vein She's already dead, I masturbate with her severed head My lubrication, her decomposition Spending my life molesting dead children Intercourse with infants Curing heads on top of spikes boiling skulls Skin sliding off of bones Voices The voices call Voices The voices are calling me Buried dead I've spiritually infected Call to me from beyond their graves Bleed I now bleed pus I bleed, the blood of the dead I bleed on her livid skin Thrusting myself within Beginning to chop through her hairless crotch Beyond what we know as death It haunts me everyday I hear the voice of every child That lies next to me decayed A fresh corpse, to fill with my infection Tortured before death, no orifice left unfilled Violated after death Virgin hole I infest Anal pore spewing cess The sacred juice I injest Your dead child I defile Necropedophile Or, for offensive lyrics you can actually understand coming from the singer:
Why don't you go down on a girl the morning after? Spoiler Have you ever pulled apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
A little black baby in Heaven is watching God meticulously attaching wings onto little white babies and sending them down to Earth as angels. He watches one after another, thinking to himself how wonderful it would be to fly down to Earth, exalted and reverent, watching over all of the people. God picks up the little black baby and starts putting on his wings. He looks up at God, eyes sparkling and watering, and asks in a hushed voice, "God, am I going to be an angel?" God looks down with disdain and says "Quiet, nigger. Bats don't talk."
I wondered how long it would be before this turned into the Racist Thread. Ahem... Why are there no black people in Canada? Spoiler Because they melt them all down to make hockey pucks. See, that joke is okay for me to say because in it, the Canadians are the ones who are racist. It's merely an observation.
On that note, didn't take long for this to become the "Dead Baby Slurpee Lovers Thread" either. Offensiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Moving along... What are the three things a black guy can't get? Spoiler Fat lip, black eye, and a job.
Well, I know two Irish guys that don't think that's funny: Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.