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The Most Offensive Thread in the Universe

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    What happened at Charlie Hebdo is sad, disgusting, cowardly, and wrong. And as a red-blooded American, who has a massive American flag hanging on his front porch (and a massive cock hanging between his legs), I refuse to let the terrorists win.

    Gilbert Gottfried's tsunam jokes are the stuff of legend, as is anything by Greg Giraldo.

    Of course, "The Aristocrats" will always be up there too:



    Focus: What is the most offensive joke you have heard? Got a favorite offensive cartoon? Youtube? The kinda thing that makes you feel like a terrible person for seeing it, and an even more terrible person for laughing at it.

    Alt. Focus: Let's try to out-offend each other. If you want to enter into this alt. focus game, post something as a challenge, then if someone accepts they quote you and include their response (one-upsmanship).

    We can't let the terrorists win.
     
    #1 Revengeofthenerds, Jan 8, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Juice

    Juice
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    Fuck it, go for it.

    This is a butt hurt free zone. Dont comment/participate if youre going to take offense to something and keep it in this thread.

    Focus: What's worse than sucking 12 raw oysters out of your grandma's vagina?

    Realizing you only put in 11.

    Bump.
     
  3. Kubla Kahn

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    Efukt is my favorite adult humor website. The editors there are comic geniuses when it comes to taking porn set bloopers and editing in hilarity.

    The most blatantly offensive video they've received and in turn lampooned:

    American History XXX


    The primer video I share with everyone who's never heard of the site and the one that first got me hooked:

    Bath Salts equal insane sex.
     
  4. Bundy Bear

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    How do you keep your neighbours kids from playing on your lawn? Molest them.

    Both around ten minutes but fucking funny.



     
    #4 Bundy Bear, Jan 11, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. jdoogie

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    Well, my girlfriend just moved out because she came home and caught me having sex with our daughter. I didn't get a chance to ask her what she was more upset about; the fact that I was having sex with our daughter, or that the abortion clinic let me bring her home.
     
  6. Gravy

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    I was in a hostel in London talking with a couple Australian girls. We were talking about where they had traveled so far. Meanwhile there was a guy who was messing around with his guitar. The girls brought up Ireland, so I had to tell my favorite joke.

    At that point the guitar suddenly stops, and this guy says in a heavy brogue. "I'm Irish."

    Fortunately, he was a really cool guy and didn't cause a ruckus.

    I also had a history teacher tell us about a joke while explaining the Jim Crow era. It's actually pretty fucked up in the context of a teacher telling this joke even if it was meant to illustrate racism. I don't think anyone in the class realized how fucked up it was. I remember everyone laughing. I probably laughed in class too. Now, I can't laugh at it. Here it is anyway.

    There was a trucker going through Tulia, Texas (where my teacher was from) when he came to a bridge. As soon as he gets to the bridge he sees 3 black guys are on it. The first guy gets taken out by the grill. The second one jumps up and goes through the windshield into the cab. The third guy jumped off the bridge and died.

    The trucker immediately calls the sheriff. As he waits he has decided his life is over. He will go to jail, his family will starve. Everything is ruined.

    The sheriff gets there and the guy almost has a panic attack explaining what happened, but the sheriff was cool as a cucumber taking notes.

    The trucker eventually asks, "So what are you going to charge me with sheriff?"

    "Charge you? Hell, I ain't gonna charge you. The way I see it that first nigger is to be charged with destruction of property. The second one is a classic case of breaking and entering. The third one obviously fled the scene of a crime. You ain't got nothing to worry about.
     
  7. Crown Royal

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    What's the best thing about banging twenty one year olds?

    There's twenty of them.


    How do you kill a Fox?

    Cut his leg off and tell him to run across Canada.
     
  8. Luke 217

    Luke 217
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    This is my dad's favorite:

    How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

    Pick him up and suck his dick.
     
  9. iczorro

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    What's the worst part about having sex with a 6 year old?

    Getting the bloodstains out of your clown suit.
     
  10. CharlesJohnson

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    What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

    Eric Clapton never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

    "Honey did you find my keys?"

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Gravy

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    Similar.

    What's the difference between 17 dead babies and a Cadillac?

    I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
     
  12. ghettoastronaut

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    What does Princess Diana have in common with a landmine?

    They're both easy to lay and very expensive to get rid of.
     
  13. Danger Boy

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    What's the difference between period blood and sand?

    You can't gargle sand.

    How do you tell if a guy is gay?

    He gets a hardon when you're fucking him in the ass.

    A man is walking into the woods with a young boy. The boy starts sobbing. The man says "I don't know what you're crying about, I'm the one who has to walk back to his car alone in the dark."
     
  14. Revengeofthenerds

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    When's the only time you wink at a black guy?

    When you're cocking and reloading.
     
  15. JoeCanada

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    How do you make a dead baby float?
    Add ice cream!

    What do you call a black guy who finishes medical school?
    A doctor, you racist fuck.
     
  16. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Juice, I'm calling out you.

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Nett, you too.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Nettdata

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    Bitch, please.

    Just keep telling yourself you didn't shoot yourself.



    You fucking retard.
     
    #18 Nettdata, Jan 11, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  19. wexton

    wexton
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    I was expecting way worse then that.
     
    #19 wexton, Jan 11, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    In my defense, I was simply trying to revive a thread that hadn't started (and start it I did), so I told a fun story of me getting grazed.

    But I still challenged you, and you failed to deliver. So:

    Your turn, nettdaddy.