No, alcohol hits me kind of fast. Plus I tend to drink kind of fast too. My tolerance is better than it was 2 months ago, but I'm still a cheap drunk. 2 whiskey and cokes will make me firmly buzzed, or about 3 or 4 beers. It also doesn't help that I measure nothing and instead rely on the glug glug method of pouring... Edited for accuracy.
HARK! You're alive!? Oh yeah, didn't you get a fancy pants job with a secretary and stuff? I forgot about that until this very moment (does your secretary like cigars?).
So here are a few words I never expected to hear myself say, but I went to go see MC Hammer perform last night. Now, you think MC Hammer and you get this wonderful feeling of nostalgia and you remember when you and your friend blew up the boombox speakers blasting "Can't Touch This." What you've forgotten, though, is that MC Hammer is probably about 50 years old now, is poor, has very little clue where he is most of the time, and probably got paid zero money for appearing at a summer concert series in Stamford, CT. When you forget that, you have no ability to see into the future in a realistic way. The show was horrible. He waddled around stage through his first four songs--three of which were unintelligible jabber, and the fourth was a gibberish-riddled tribute to the Adams Family theme song (which sounded nothing like the theme song, never mentioned the Adams Family, and contained the word "Hammer" multiple times). He finally went into one of the two songs that everyone came to see and people began to come around when the beat to "2 Legit 2 Quit" came on. Everyone was then quickly disappointed when it sucked. Next was a lack-luster rendition of, naturally, "Can't Touch This," during which time most people simply started to leave. So to sum it up, MC Hammer's poor, old ass posthumously ruined my childhood memories and cost me a $10 admission fee and two $7 beers--all to the tune of muted beats and muddled lyrics with "Hammer" interspersed throughout.
Whenever I drink hard alcohol of any kind, I drink it straight over ice, so I'm a regular user of the glug glug method. However, if you are really going to dink Long Island Iced Teas measurement is pretty important unless you don't mind drinking something that tastes like kerosene.
My freshman year of college, we had Coolio (of Gangster's Paradise and the Kenan and Kel Show fame) perform at our school. Because it rained, he was performing in our cafeteria. Seriously. He went from winning Grammies to our cafeteria. It was just sad. You could see how pissed off he was at all of this, and the preponderous of white people singing along to rap songs was at the same time both amusing and unsettling. Gangster's Paradise is a jam, though.
Tonight is one of my friend's 21st birthday party. She doesn't drink, but I know the night is going to be fun even without alcohol. She has the most absurd collection of artistic friends. So far, there are six guitar players, three people who make a living selling their photography on etsy, two cake artists, four actors who are a really big deal around town but not anywhere else, and a guy who plays the bongos at jazz clubs. To most people this would sound like a completely lame way to spend a Friday night, but I went to one of these parties drunk before, and it wasn't nearly as fun as when I stay sober.
My shot glass is in my mom's car (long story) so I'll just have to use 1/4 cup measure cups or something. It shouldn't matter how much I use, as long as all parts are equal and fit into the glass. This being said, the first time I puked from drinking too much was from a long island iced tea. They put WAY too much tequila in that thing. I don't think smoking the hookah while I drank was a good idea, either.
Yes I am indeed alive and well. I just don't have the time to be around near as much anymore. I do have a secretary, and I have fancy pants. *bootyshake* See?
Coolio : Hammer :: Drinking Scotch : Drinking Beast Light He was always better and had a way cooler haircut (it said, "I like dreads, but also putting forks in electrical outlets")
When I was in college, back in the GHW Bush era, David Allan Coe came to Sewanee and performed. I was a huge fan. It's ridiculous how many times I sang "You never even called me by my name" drunk in some bar, along with all the other rednecky songs he sang. Hands down, he was the worst performer I've ever seen. The guy has the personality of a brick. It broke my heart.
Gotta work late tonight. Probably going to be working Sat and Sun and then work all next week! So much for my weekend. I hate working on 2nd shift.
I saw Vanilla Ice and Maestro Fresh Wes TOGETHER when I was in College back in '02. Talk about a perfect storm of Awesome. Best Canadian rap song of all time: ...or Tom Green's old rap group. This song kicked ass:
In DAC's defense, he was probably so wasted they had a broomstick up his ass just to get him balanced. He was in town a few years ago and he was slurring the lyrics, wobbling around on stage, couldn't play guitar. Then again what do you except from a guy that's famous for singing "Jack Daniels if you please?" In a way I'd be disappointed at anything less of that epic drunk-up. Was watching "Crazy Heart" and I was like oh shit that's DAC, but they gave him a soul. So I guess all that's left is: Fuck, this song makes me want a drink.
I saw Hammer back in his day from like the 10th row and it was a decent show. I wore black spandex pants, knee high black boots and an extra long cream blazer...with teased bangs. Hawt.
It's because he dissed Weird Al after he did a hilarious parody, with Amish Paradise. People with no sense of humor about themselves wash up pretty quickly.
Nope. We all gave up. SheGirl either won't or will post with a "gotcha, sucka!" NSFW tag. (But, we still love you, SG.)
So the guy who's one hit was stolen from somebody else wasn't good live? GASP. Didn't see that coming.
I would respond, but I'm too busy buffing my Sperry's and ironing my linen shorts for a Marina Del Ray cocktail soiree in Madisonville where I'm gonna sip shiraz and say "good sir" a bunch as I watch a tax-free sunset over the Tchefuncta River. If you get the mud off of your Cajun Reeboks, hose off your overalls until they are presentable, and traffic isn't too bad in Da Paaaahrish this time of day, I highly suggest you join us, good sir!