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The Joke's on Me But It Ain't Funny

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    Inspired by this:
    With the recent measles outbreak, spurred on by Jenny McCarthy's spot on The View and Oprah, and later proven false by overwhelming amounts of scientific evidence...

    We gotta....

    Focus: What's the next faux hysteria? And Why?
     
  2. Juice

    Juice
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    It will probably be that hydrogen fuel cells in cars cause cancer or something stupid. Any new technology always comes with its own brand of BS. Car phones, microwaves, and satellite dishes were all going to give you cancer if you were in close proximity to them for too long.


    You all know the drill. If this turns shit show, it gets shutdown and belligerents will take a vacation.

    Bump.
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    The next hysteria will be whatever we come up with next to battle man-made climate change. Right now around here rural people have been battling the construction of wind turbines by saying the vibrations give them diseases. Because like the eye of Sauron, these things pierce walls, flesh....and thought. The truth is -- as scientists and doctors have pointed out-- they're probably pulling these symptoms out of their ass because they simply don't like LOOKING at these towering things. Well, too fucking bad.

    I also want to see what billionaire assholes do next to block Tesla from revolutionizing the automobile industry.
     
  4. AbsentMindedProf

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    G.M.O.s There's already a large percent of the population that think all GMOs are vile bastard of Monsanto and should be stopped at any cost. These people also overlap with the non-vaccination idiots too.
     
  5. Danger Boy

    Danger Boy
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    This goes hand in hand with organic foods as well. It's one of those crazes that managed to dupe a good part of the general population into believing that it really makes a difference, and that it's even remotely sustainable. The farmers I know who grow organic crops are laughing all the way to the bank. How about this: make sure conventional farms continue to adhere to the already strict laws governing the use of chemicals for weed and pest control. That way there will be enough to feed everyone, and it will be affordable.

    Every once in a while I'll have someone from the city ask me if the corn and soybeans that I grow are organic. I always respond with "Organic, meaning they're carbon based lifeforms? Then yes, they are organic."

    I imagine the next mass hysteria will have something to do with drones. The FAA just came out with their first set of guidelines for the commercial use of UAV's and they will be finalized in about 2-3 years. I plan on having one for farm use, and I think it's safe to assume it will be one of the most valuable tools I have. But, I'm sure there will be a bunch of asinine restrictions put in place, because retards.
     
  6. Parker

    Parker
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    I imagine the next hysteria will involved North Korea finally developing a weapon of mass destruction, The Brown Note Cannon. It will be able to project a wave of sounding causing people to instantaneously shit themselves uncontrollably. This will secretly be supported by Depends and other adult diaper companies.
     
  7. Luke 217

    Luke 217
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    Disturbed

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    Personal Stem Cell Collection and Usage.

    I believe I have the right to harvest my wife's unused eggs to grow me new bodyparts. We as humans should have the right to not only decide to manufacture our own stem cells using our own unused progeny, but to also use that unused progeny to grow me a new liver.
    Its not only the circle of life, but akin to a perpetual motion machine. Plus Payton needs to get back to a Superbowl again before he loses any more credibility to that bohunk Brady.
    I've already saved up cookie sheets full of captured monthly Diva Cup transactions in my basement freezer for years now. Sure it looks like frozen blocks of crab food in the hull of the Cornelia Marie, but when I get the green light..... Daddy's gettin some injections for is perpetually sore shoulder.


    (I have no idea how stem cells work,,, and my wife doesn't have a uterus)
     
  8. AlexWolfe

    AlexWolfe
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    Cookie sheets and Diva Cups? Time to take that shit to the next level:

    [​IMG]

    +

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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  10. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    At least among the "pet parent" crowd: what my precious dog is eating.

    Raw prey model, raw ground, high-quality kibble, high-quality wet food.

    For an animal who'll happily consume rabbits it will kill itself, piles of human excrement and nearly anything it can gain nutrition from, it's maddening to hear how much people worry about what Fido is eating. Or cat. Or whatever.
     
  11. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
  12. silway

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    Self-Driving cars are going to be the focus of a huge technopanic. We'll see stories of them killing people and pictures of horrible crashes, etc.

    What will be ignored is that even if 100% adoption of self driving cars kills 10,000 people a year, that's a savings of about 25,000 lives or so. And that we won't have perfect adoption and most of the accidents will be caused by human error.
     
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    FIFTY thousand automobile deaths a year is collateral damage. You can bet that if even one die because of a robotic mistake, Population Moron will vilify them.
     
  14. CanisDirus

    CanisDirus
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    The next Wiki-Leaks/Anonymous/Fappening-type DOX event.

    People will panic and freak out about people able to delve into their personal secrets while their government can do it at their leisure.