The I-Can't-Believe-It's-Week-9-In-The-NFL Drunk Thread

Going to have to call a dentist Monday, which will likely suck, and had a toothache for most of today, which DID suck.

Here is something that did not suck -- went to Foxwoods today, was down to $10 at one point, wound up cashing out more than 100 times that amount. (Donked off a bunch playing shitty poker, got disgusted with myself, took my last ten gambling bucks to roulette, ran insanely hot there, went back to the poker room, bounced up and down by playing super aggressively, caught a bunch of cards right before I had to leave, ez game)

 

But then who would post pictures of disgusting white trash women with freakishly hairy cooters?! PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!!!

 

My husband is working every Saturday until Christmas, so I get to watch dirty reality television and porn all morning without feeling guilty.

Unrelated - I'm leaving for California on Wednesday, and just found out it's San Diego Craft Beer Week! I'm not sure I've been this excited since losing my virginity. Fuuuuuuuck, I can't wait.

 

no politics

 

Hey now, I get enough of this political BS on TV, facebook, and simply driving down my street. The TiB weekend drunk thread is one area where I should be able to escape all of that.

 

Agreed. Though I have escaped the politics on FB with the "unpolitic" me chrome extension. The good news is, you can use it to block anything in your facebook feed. Mine now blocks any post containing the words "swag", "yolo", and "repost."

 

Most people have probably seen this but for those who haven't it's well worth a watch, extremely funny and interesting drinking story:

 

My trivia team won a 2 hour open bar today. Thank god my friends knew about Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Wedding Singer, and the less popular Will Ferrell movies because I sure as fuck didn't. But maybe drinking will help.

 

Actually, the dealer that got me going was a striking, tall man from Kenya, who was nothing but professional and barely even spoke to me.

Ok, you got me, it was a short Asian lady who kept encouraging me to bank my profits and was on the verge of giving me $100 I didn't deserve before I pointed out that 17 was black.

 

Did you tell her this?

 

And Mizzou strikes first. Fuck yes!

 

Hey Frylock, how 'ya been? Glad you could make it to the party!
Did I hurt your feelings with that post? And let me guess, it was you who added that last line in there without my permission, wasn't it? That was really ballsy, doing it anonymously. It's good to see that the moderatorial tomfuckery from the old board is still alive and well here.

Now, here's a sample from The Sword's newest album, Apocryphon:

 

HOLY SHIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I'm not going to edit your posts, or fuck with your username, or even ban you, because that's not my style. I will call you out in public though, because you are so obviously aching for mommy and daddy moderator to pay attention to you that I'm worried that child services is going to take you away if I let this go on any further.

Look, I know you have this distaste for authority and wish you could rape cops because they get mad and arrest you when you drive drunk. I'm real broken up about it too. But your tax dollars don't pay to run this place, we're not your servants, and this sense of entitlement is fucking childish.

It is not my "job" to start Drunk Threads. Nobody even asked me to. I just saw that they weren't always being started early, and so I did it because people liked having a place to shoot the shit during the weekends. Sometimes I let the threads go long, because the conversation is still pretty good, or because I'm lazy, or because I'm busy. Sometimes I have a busy life that doesn't always involve being able to get to the board. Deal with it.

I can't tell if you're some sort of advanced satire, or if you're really so utterly daft that you're going to complain about people who are trying to help bring you a free service with absolutely no benefit to themselves, and then turn around and act confused when those same people feel inclined to fuck you.

Hopefully, one day you'll grow up and realize that you're not the cool kid in the back of the room, bringing down the man with your sharp wit and devil-may-care attitude. You're just whiny. And whining isn't going to get you anywhere.

In summation, you have absolutely awful taste in porn.

 

Picked up a bottle of JW Blue Label for tonight's festivities.

And by "festivities" I mean getting drunk and watching LSU lose.

 

God damnit Fraklin!

On a completely unrelated note. Why are the three best threads so dead?



FUCK YES HOLDING!

 

I think "getting a haircut" is enough productivity for one day. Last couple weeks have been busy as hell, so doing nothing all day sounds juuust fine.



Might go see a movie later if I finish my soup. Anybody seen Taken 2? I hear it's quite a step down from the first one, but I'm still optimistic.

Or I can just watch Bikini Spring Break on Netflix again. Terrible story, terrible acting. A+ overall.

 

People make me so angry sometimes.

Today, I needed to:
a) Not spend my day sitting in my apartment/jury duty and take a long walk somewhere
b) Get a restorative juice because I didn't have food in my house until yesterday and have therefore been eating like shit from the food places in my neighborhood.

and my roommate works at a juice bar/creperie in Park Slope at which I get a 50% off family discount, so I went there. It was slow, so I was standing at the counter talking to her, drinking my juice, when one of the people from the one table that was sitting there (a lesbian couple with a baby and empty wheatgrass shots sitting in front of them) got up to ask my friend a question.

Park Slope Lesbomom: "Excuse me, what is the chocolate that the menu says is in the [Whatever the Name Was] shake?"
Friend: "It's chocolate syrup."
PSL: "Oh, but what kind?"
Friend: "Hershey's."
The PSL scoffs and turns back to her partner: "Did you hear that? They use Hershey's chocolate syrup."
She turns back to my friend: "That kind of goes against the whole health angle you guys have, don't you think?"

Now, this conversation would have pissed me off any day. Yeah, bitch, they use Hershey's syrup. I'm sorry that they don't use fair trade organic dark chocolate syrup imported from a commune in Chile. They had already had their meal, it wasn't like she was even considering getting herself one. She was just asking about it, and it was so in that way where she knew the answer was going to make her feel high and mighty. But during this week, of all weeks, that's what you're going to choose to get huffy about? That the juice bar in your neighborhood that didn't get any flooding or power outages but is a mile or two from a neighborhood that is still underwater with zero food options didn't have ingredients that were on par with your standards? Not even in your meal but just in general?

But instead of all this, I said "There was just a hurricane." And she either accurately filled in the blank or thought that meant "So that's why they're using Hershey's instead of their usual high grade chocolate" and sat back down. Gah.

In other news, I've been trying to volunteer this weekend but I can't get in anywhere. This feels like a very New Yorky problem. But, it makes me feel a bit better that all of the efforts that exist have been getting so many offers that they're turning people away.

In other other news, the army is guarding the gas station by me.